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Men, This Mistake Will Block Sex And Kill Your Marriage...

A man doesn't have to agree with everything his wife says.

A man can say "no" to his wife's requests.

A man can go a direction that's different from the one his wife wants to take

He can do all of these things and his wife will STILL respect, admire, appreciate, and be attracted to long as she knows that he has carefully listened to her and considered the different variables that she is trying to bring to his awareness.

Unfortunately, the big mistake I frequently see husbands make is that they simply don't listen to their wife. They don't appreciate the broader scope and alternate perspectives that she brings to the table.

Rather, they just shut their wife out...and their wife shuts down sexually.

The point is that a man should ALWAYS listen to what his wife has to say and CONSIDER what it is that she's striving to help him understand in her female form of indirect prompting.

And then, he has to do one more critical thing: IMPLEMENT!

This is where many men blow it. They'll listen to their wife. They'll consider what she has to say. But then, they just don't do anything with it. They don't make changes that need to be made. They don't take the actions that need to be taken. They just keep on riding the old status quo train.

The net effect is that they didn't listen to their wife. They didn't grasp the fact that their wife was trying to make things better in some particular area of their marriage.

I've had wife after wife tell me that they tried to talk with their husband about some problem in their marriage and he essentially ignored her.

Many of these wives even did it in the right way. The first talk, she tried to be as nice and inoffensive as possible and to just make suggestions about how things could be made better. The second time, she was a little more direct and blunt. The third and remaining times, she went into a full-fledged blow-up.

And, each time she tried to talk to her husband, he agreed with her. He may have even went so far as to cry and promise her that he'd do better.

But, after the storm was over, he didn't really do anything.

Honestly, in the man's mind, everything was fine just the way it was and he really wasn't interested in making any changes. That's why he didn't do anything. As far as he was concerned, things were ok because he had a wife to cook, clean, take care of the kids, and go to bed with.

Of course, I usually hear about all of this after the wife has filed for divorce and the husband has begged her to get on the phone with me to see if there's any way I can persuade her to go back to him.

However, long before the wife left her husband, they had nothing more than a (mostly) civil friendship. They certainly didn't have a happy, sex-filled marriage.

A normal woman will soon enough reach the point where she refuses to have sex with a man that she doesn't respect and a man who won't listen, consider, and implement as appropriate is a man she won't respect.

Have you ever heard your wife say something like this?
  • "We don't ever do anything together any more. We need to do more things together..."
  • "You want to go out with me? I'm going to the store for a few things..."
  • "You're a good husband but sometimes, I just feel lonely..."
  • "Sometimes, I feel like we've just lost it...we don't really have that connection we used to have..."
  • "Maybe we should go see a marriage counselor to help us get back the passion we once had..."

Actually, the more important question is, "What did you DO when you heard your wife say these things?"

If you're like the normal man, you didn't do anything.


Here's the deal, some wives will move into the UNNATURAL position of being the LEADER in their marriage...they'll be the one who CARRIES the marriage and who tries to help and fix it. But, NO woman will do this forever. Eventually, she'll get fed up with having a man who won't listen to her pleas for improvement. Eventually, she'll reach a threshold where she's just DONE. No more! It's DIVORCE time.

Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article as is and unchanged ONLY if a resource box pointing to is included with it.



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How To Deal With A Nagging Wife...

Every so often, a man will come to me and ask, "How do I get my wife to stop griping and nagging at me?"

When I ask him what it is that his wife is complaining about, he'll tell me, "Oh, it's mostly just a lot of "piddly" stuff, things like

* She gripes about the way I dress
* She rides me about the way I talk
* She doesn't like the way I do certain things
* She complains that I'm too sloppy
* She says I need to be more motivated
* She chides me for not standing up for myself the way she thinks I should

Or, it's some chore around the house that she wants me to do that I haven't had time to deal with yet."

With very few exceptions, as I listen to the man describe his wife's griping and nagging it quickly becomes apparent to me...

His wife is trying to help him become a classier, more professional, more successful man!

Any woman worth having wants her man, herself, and any children to have the most significant and meaningful life possible. And, she knows that having such a life is a lot easier if her man is being all that he is capable of being. She also knows that a significant and meaningful life is unlikely if her man operates at a level that's lower than what he's capable of.

So, when a woman sees that her man is not being all that he can be, she'll start griping, complaining, and riding him.

Or, more accurately, she'll start trying to motivate him to be more.

This is not unlike a mother Eagle that builds a nest for her babies that's filled with the softest down and fur. But, as the chicks (usually there are two of them) begin to grow, the mother begins taking out the soft, comfortable lining little by little until there's nothing left but sharp, uncomfortable, sticks and briars. Eventually, it becomes more comfortable for the young eagles to get out of the nest and learn to fly than to stay in the uncomfortable nest.

Here's what I want you to consider... More than likely, your wife is trying to help you. If your wife is like most women, she does NOT enjoy having to nag her husband. But, she does want her husband to be the best that he can be.

In the Bible, we can read the phrase, "Behold, I set before you a blessing and a curse."

It's your option to view your wife and her nagging as a curse. Or, you can realize that your wife is trying to be a blessing to you.

Is there something that your wife regularly harps about?

If so, consider it carefully. Consider where, what, and how it is that you can enhance and improve yourself as a man. Consider what it is that your wife is telling you that can benefit you and your entire family if you'll but listen and act upon what it is she's saying.

Here's what I can tell you... The men with the happiest, most sexual marriages make their wife's griping and nagging go away by using what she has to say as a driving force that motivates them to improve, grow, and expand into a more powerful, more influential, more successful man.

That reminds me of the old saying, "Behind every great man is a great woman." Dare I say that there would be a lot more great men if there were more men who would use what their wife has to say to them to fire them up in a positive direction?

Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article as is and unchanged ONLY if a resource box pointing to is included with it.



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Are You A Husband Who Has This Intimacy-Killing Fear?

Have you ever considered how absurd certain kinds of fears are?

For instance, does it not seem strange that elephants with all of their size, power and strength are afraid of a tiny little mouse?

This is just one of many examples that exist within our world where a fear seems mismatched or inappropriate. But, there's one in particular that I want to deal with in this article…it's this one…

Many men are afraid of a woman.

For many men, the moment they find themselves in the presences of a woman that they don't know very well – especially one who has any level of physical attractiveness – they suddenly start feeling all awkward and self-conscious.

A man may be very successful in his business endeavors. Physically, he may be quite strong. He may have all sorts of heroic actions credited to him. He may be a world class speaker who is able to quickly develop rapport with large groups of people. He may jump out of airplanes, race cars, boats, or motorcycles, ride dangerous bulls or bucking horses, fight terrorists, or any number of other highly dangerous things.

But, put him in a one-on-one situation where he needs to interact with a woman who isn't his Mother or sister and suddenly, he morphs into a gangly, stuttering, clumsy GOOF.

And, here's the problem… A woman cannot be attracted to a man who is afraid of her.

What about you? Have you ever found yourself in the presence of a woman and felt this awkward, self-conscious feeling start creeping over you?

Well, if you have, then here's what you need to know…

That feeling is a response to certain kinds of thoughts.

Feelings are ALWAYS responses to thoughts. Feelings are ALWAYS preceded by thoughts.

Remember that!

It just so happens that our thoughts usually occur so fast that we don't even notice them. All we notice are the resulting feelings.

What are thoughts? They are mostly mental pictures and sounds that are either created or remembered.

So, the question is, what kinds of thoughts did you have prior to feeling awkward and self-conscious in the presence of that woman?

Here are the thoughts that most men have some variation of…

They mentally reflect back to their early teenage years…a time when they were scrawny – or maybe they still had a lot of baby fat…a time when they had a lot of pimples…a time when their voice cracked…a time when they were clumsy…a time when they were at their least attractive stage in life…and they felt so ugly compared to the angelic beauty and grace of girls at that same age.

They JUDGED and EVALUATED themselves compared to something that was REALLY IMPORTANT to them – girls – and they judged and evaluated themselves as INFERIOR which GENERATED that awkward and self-conscious feeling.

And now, years later, when they get in the presence of a woman they UNCONSCIOUSLY recall that comparison they made way back then which causes them to RE-ASSOCIATE INTO the same feelings they felt back then.

My fellow man, that's no longer appropriate!

It's NON-USEFUL to be afraid of women.

Stop it!

Women are meant to be beautiful and graceful.

Men are meant to be strong and brave achievers.

Let yourself be comfortable with women being what they are supposed to be. At the same time, be comfortable and confident with what you are supposed to be as a man.

God didn't make any mistakes. He made you to be attracted to your beautiful wife. He made your wife to be attracted to her strong, brave, achieving husband.

You've got nothing to worry about. You've got nothing to be afraid of. You are no longer that gangly adolescent.

You're now a grown, attractive man!

It is time for you to stop being afraid of your woman.

And when you do, notice how you become more attractive to her.

Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article as is and unchanged ONLY if a resource box pointing to is included with it.


Why Doesn't My Wife Want To Have Sex?

EVERYBODY is turned off by the notion of somebody using them. NOBODY wants to be manipulated by someone else who's trying to benefit themselves but not you.

Given this, I want to give you a counter-example that just might help a whole lot of men in their marriage and sex-life.

Imagine that you just recently married...imagine that you're a reasonable, practical, logical sort of fellow...imagine that you've got one more year in college...imagine that money is in VERY short supply...imagine that the two of you both work evening jobs...imagine that the two of you are living in a not-so-pleasant apartment complex, a place where plenty of society's dark side resides...and your new wife is obsessed about getting pregnant and having a much so that every time you turn around, she's trying to get you to "get her pregnant"...every time there's a lull in work activity, she's pestering you to have sex with her...and when you do have sex, she's not the least bit interested in whether she feels any pleasure, she just wants you to hurry up and ejaculate...although sometimes, she really puts on a show and acts like she just wants to make love with you and getting pregnant doesn't really matter...but it quickly becomes apparent that the whole show was just a pretense and a sham...because once again, she's just trying to get you to ejaculate...and after you ejaculate, she wants you to help prop pillows up under her backside so it's easier for the "sperm" to swim to their destination.

Now, really imagine yourself being in this situation…and as you imagine it…

Notice how you don't feel like you can trust your wife – how your gut tells you her motives are lop-sided and aren't 100% honest.

Notice how she thinks only of what she wants and is oblivious to the life-long impact it will have on you.

Notice how one-sided things feel.

Notice how your wife gives no indication that she really cares about you, your interests, or your desires.

Notice how you'd really like to have sex – notice how your wife really could be such an attractive lady – EXCEPT this obsessive, selfish drive of hers to get pregnant at a most inopportune time is killing your desire towards her.

Notice how she's engaging you – not because she cares about your needs – but because she wants something from you.

Notice how she gives no consideration for timing or appropriateness – she just wants what she wants without regard to what works for you.

Notice how she hasn't bothered asking you what you might want – she's too concerned with what she wants.

Notice how irritating it is that your wife is constantly hounding you to have sex with her so she can get pregnant – and how her constant nagging on this point is like the biggest turn-off in the world.

Notice how the whole ordeal is such a huge turn-off to you and the automatic resistance to having sex with your wife.

Can you feel the feelings I'm describing?

Can you hear her nerve-grating nagging to get pregnant?

Can you look at her and see how repulsive her selfish neediness is to you?

If you can, then you have a good take on what most women feel, hear, and see in relation to their husband and his incessant desire for sex.

It's not that she doesn't want sex too. She absolutely does.

She just doesn't want it in the way he's trying to engage her in it.

So, if your wife doesn't want to have sex, try engaging her in a way that values her as a person. Try engaging her in a way that shows consideration for her wants and needs. In doing so, BOTH of you can "score".

Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article as is and unchanged ONLY if a resource box pointing to is included with it.



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Are You A Newly Married Husband Having Marital Sex Problems?

If you are a young man who has recently joined the ranks of married men, then the odds are high that you're about to run into significant marital trouble...especially if your new wife isn't very experienced in the realm of sexual expression.

For some new husbands, sexual problems pop up right away -- sometimes even before they get back from their honeymoon.

Here's one common reason why...

Many a young lady has been programmed for nearly two decades by her mother and other "well-meaning" women that "sex is bad", "men only want one thing", etc.

Further, many a young lady grows up hearing the women in her life complaining about the relationship they have with their husband -- bombarding her highly impressionable young female ears with all sorts of negative opinions, non-useful perspectives, and sometimes downright harmful beliefs about sex and men.

Well, many things of a sexual nature are inappropriate for a young girl and a good mother will wisely guide her daughter away from and around such things.

After she gets a older, a good mother will counsel her daughter that being unmarried and promiscuous has enough negative consequences that she is best served by avoiding sex.

However, sex IS completely appropriate within a marriage and not only is it appropriate, it's a good, healthy, and important part of a marriage.

Unfortunately, most new wives never had a mother or other female figure who helped them make this distinction...all the young lady got was, "Sex is bad".

And, to make things particularly insidious, the new wife's belief systems are mostly if not completely subconscious.

Rare is the new wife who will consciously think about her new relationship with her husband and compare, contrast, and consider that with her own carefully thought out beliefs.

Rare is the new wife who will put real thought into her needs, her husbands needs, her communication methods, his communication methods, etc and come up with a consciously rational perspective and approach to her marriage.

Instead, she finds herself mentally grappling with and struggling with an unconscious battle between "I'm supposed to have sex with my husband" and "Sex is bad".

Significantly, this unconscious battle that this new wife is battling is so real – even though it is unconscious – that she will literally begin manifesting health problems. The most common ones being extreme tiredness, pain during intercourse, and yeast infections.

So, what does all of this mean to you as a new husband?

It means you are faced with a challenge...a challenge that will either make or break your marriage.

Specifically, the challenge is for you to LEARN how to create a safe, secure, trusting environment wherein you gently LEAD your new wife into that place where she can comfortably express her sexuality and know that it's the proper thing to do in her marriage...not only for her husband's sake, but for her sake as well.

And, you are a man. You are made by God to take on challenges, to establish goals, to achieve, accomplish, and overcome. You can do it.

Really, it's an honorable and exciting journey that you get to take you and your new wife on...the destination being one of open and exciting sexual expression by both you and your wife.

Enjoy both the journey and the destination!

Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article as is and unchanged ONLY if a resource box pointing to is included with it.



NOTICE: This is a deprecated (old, not-used, not-updated, not-serviced) blog that's here only for old links sake. Please visit our new blog or our sitemap

Make Sex More Exciting! Tips For Men...

Husband, how would you like to take your lovemaking experiences for both you and your wife to a higher level?

You can do it and all it takes is swallowing a little pride and loosening up a bit. Let me explain...

First of all, for most men, few things are more dissatisfying than making love to a woman who doesn't move a muscle or make a sound – no matter what he does to or for her.

And yet, based on the feedback of many women, their husband goes through the act of lovemaking in a passionless, expressionless, emotionless, sterile way. Oh sure, he'll have a bit of a scene when he climaxes but up until that point, there's just not enough spirit there to really excite his wife.

So, the first thing a husband can do to heat things up during lovemaking is make some noise. Maybe even make a lot of noise. Be expressive. Let your lady HEAR that she really pleasures you.

But, don't stop there. Let her also SEE via your body language that she really knows how to take care of you just right. And, let her FEEL both from the energy coming from you and from the touch of your body that she's doing a fantastic job.

Do this even if it's not true and it will soon enough become true!

To emphasize this point, a dildo is never as good for a woman as the real deal precisely for the reason that there's no life to a dildo. Think about it from your perspective...would you rather be with an exciting woman who lets you know that she enjoys what you're doing to and for her or a lifeless blow-up doll?

Well, if you're a normal man, it's self-evident that you'd rather be with a passionate woman – just like your wife would rather be with a passionate man.

So, the next time you make love with your wife, SHOW HER SOME LIFE! Rev things up by putting some passion into it – instead of just being the human equivalent of a dildo to your wife.

Another thing that some women complain to me about is that when it comes to lovemaking, their man has gotten LAZY. He just lays back, gets comfortable, and pushes all the work of making the lovemaking experience good onto his wife.

As a man, you know yourself that if you and another man were assigned to a job and you were doing all the work while the other fellow sat idly by, too lazy to do any work, you'd quickly come to resent him, right?

My friend, it's the same with your wife. If she consistently has to do all the work in lovemaking, she will soon progress to the point where she DOES NOT enjoy it and eventually to the point she RESENTS it.

Sure, if your wife's a normal woman, she wants to give you pleasure but that doesn't mean she wants to carry the whole load of having to pleasure you AND herself.

So, take shared responsibility for making the lovemaking experience fun and exciting and it will be the fun and exciting experience it's meant to be. Take shared responsibility for giving and receiving pleasure and the lovemaking experience will be mutually pleasurable.

Now, let me tie all of the above together...

The best lovemaking is a joint-adventure-exploration. The husband gives and takes. The wife gives and takes. One does something for the other and then the other does something back. It's a switching back and forth of CONTROL and ROLE.

As simplistic as this may sound, many women complain that their husband does nothing more than "bore in" as he tries to rush both he and his wife to a climax – or even worse, he rushes forward to HIS own climax without regard to hers.

Here's how a man can apply this "back and forth" concept to create a more memorable, more exciting lovemaking experience for both he and his wife...

As the lovemaking experience progresses, alternate the scene between dominant and submissive and between naughty and nice. Alternate so that you're dominant and a little later your wife's the dominant one. Alternate so that at some points, things are naughty and at others they are nice.

So for example, at one moment, a husband can take a position of dominant power while he holds his wife's wrists over her head with one hand and her chin with his other hand and passionately kisses her. Later, he can shift his wife into a position of power – perhaps as she gets on top of him he switches into a mini-role-play and says something like, "Yes mistress! I am your sex-slave...I love the power you have over me..."

At one moment, a man can tell his woman what he wants her to do. Then, he can shift things over so that his woman is telling him what she want him to do. At one moment, a man can put his wife in the position he wants her in and after a bit, he leads his wife into her putting him in the position she wants him in.

At one moment, a man can tell his wife to get on her knees because he's going to do her doggy style just like the naughty girl inside of her likes to be done but at another moment, he's sweetly whispering "I love you'" into his wife's ear while they make nice, quiet love in the missionary position but then he switches back to naughty by switching them both from intercourse to oral.

This kind of back and forth is a huge turn on for women – and it makes things a lot spicier for men too. This sharing of the control – of directing the action – and the switching of roles is a big part of the fun.

I can promise you this...if a husband and wife will banter back and forth between dominant and submissive and between naughty and nice every time they make love, their sex life will NEVER become boring or stale.

And to all you ladies reading this...leave a comment below and let us men hear what you have to say about this...

Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article as is and unchanged ONLY if a resource box pointing to is included with it.