The #1 Very Simple Tweak You Can Make To Rekindle Love and Excitement In Your Marriage!

In the busyness of life, a couple inevitably finds themselves growing apart.

Sooner or later, they find themselves divided by work, responsibilities, and sundry problems of life.

Eventually, in spite of their best intentions, feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and dissatisfaction set in.

That’s when small nuisances become big irritants. Both the husband and the wife act as if the little things are no big deal – but they are.

Now, the flame of love and excitement no longer burns within the marriage.

But, there is a very simple tweak a husband and wife can make to rekindle that flame so that love and excitement once again burn bright in their marriage.

It’s a simple tweak…

It does however require that they both set aside their differences.

It requires that they both let go of grudges and grievances.

It requires them both to not only accept the uniqueness of the other but to in fact CAPITALIZE ON and LEVERAGE that uniqueness.

What’s the tweak that rekindles the flame of love and excitement within a marriage? It’s simply this:

Go on a meaningful date once a week with your spouse.

In other words, a husband and wife must purposely take time on a regular basis to be together and to do things together.

And both the husband and the wife have a particular responsibility in making sure the date satisfies their partner. Let’s start with the guys…

Husbands, before your wife was married, the most exciting moments of her life were…you guessed it…DATES!

It’s what she looked forward to. She counted the days, the hours, the minutes until that “guy” came to pick her up. It’s what she planned out all week – which outfit, which shoes, which jewelry, and so on. It’s what she talked about with her friends every day.

That anticipation of the date – that looking forward to the evening out – it was all so exciting to her.

Guys make a note of this: IT STILL IS!

Now, you husbands recall a time when you overheard some lady make the statement, “He didn’t even call me…”

Why was the woman complaining about this man not calling her? It’s because she was looking forward to meeting up with him – she was watching the clock – it was important to her – and it didn’t even mean enough to the guy for him to call and cancel. That’s why she was complaining about it.

Now, a husband can foolishly criticize his wife for her need for dates…he can foolishly criticize her for her “Cinderella” notions… Or, he can wisely embrace this unique characteristic in his wife and capitalize on it and leverage it to spice up their marriage.

So husbands, take responsibility for setting up something fun every week for you and your wife to go do – and say or do things throughout the week to help build and foster your wife’s anticipation of the date – little notes, phone calls, or comments should work quite nicely.

And one more thing for you husbands…

When you’re out on the date, and your wife is droning on and on about something that seems like “meaningless drivel” to you, JUST GO WITH IT! Don’t try to solve it. Don’t try to shut her down. Don’t try to switch over to some subject you’re more interested in. Instead, go with trying to FEEL all the feelings you can related to whatever it is that she’s talking about. Then, when you respond to her, let it be in terms of those feelings. In doing so, you’ll develop a deeper rapport with your wife that she’ll really, really enjoy and appreciate.

And you wives…

As much as you like the “Cinderella” story, remember that there was more to the story than just her becoming beautiful and her getting all the attention of being in the spot light with the Prince. At the end of the day, the Prince wasn’t interested in her just for her looks or for the money he could spend on her. Rather, the Prince had desires and needs too and had Cinderella rejected those, she would have soon enough been back at home with the evil step-family.

So, your responsibility is to make sure that things get sexual some where, some how, some time before the date is over with – whether you want that to be at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end.

And, I don’t mean just passively giving yourself to your husband so he’ll be pacified and shut up – because that’s not what he really wants. Rather, I’m talking about you – as the wife – expressing your sexuality TO, WITH, and FOR your husband – you taking a dominant, leading role in making sure things get sexual – very sexual.

As before, a wife can foolishly complain that, “All he thinks about is sex”. Or, she can wisely embrace this unique characteristic of her husband by meeting it with an expression of her own sexuality. The truth is, a husband deserves to get his needs met every bit as much as a wife deserves to get her needs met.

So there you have it…go on a real date once a week…husbands, take care of your responsibility…wives, take care of your responsibility. The result for both the husband and the wife will be something that’s so incredible, so exciting, so amazing, and so spectacular that people who know you will probably start teasing you for acting like teenagers again.

Copyright 2008, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to http://www.marriedandhappy.com/ is included with it.

Have You Noticed Your Wife Being Attracted To Another Man? If So, Read This…

Have you ever been to a gathering or party where there was one man who seemed to outshine all the other men?

Did it seem to you that the women – particularly your wife – were attracted to this man?

Did you feel a bit frustrated – maybe even depressed, helpless, and hopeless – because you wished you could be the kind of guy who was the center of attention – and especially your wife’s attention?

Were you particularly disheartened and discouraged as it occurred to you that women are only interested in having sex with men like “Mr. life-of-the-party” but not with men like you – and given this, those other men will always be able to have a great sex life while you’ll NEVER be able to have one?

If you can relate to what I’ve said so far, then consider the following:

• Every person alive has their own special element where they outshine everyone else around them. At a party, it may be a certain guy. But, put that guy in a different element and any females around him would be totally turned off by his ineptness.
  
• Everyone is different in the things that attract them. Everyone is different in the things they want. So, for that certain guy at the party, the real truth is that there will be some women who ARE definitely attracted to him, their will be other women who are definitely NOT attracted to him, and there will be those women who aren’t impacted by him either way.
  
• Realize there is amazing diversity in women and what it is that they are attracted to. There’s the male movie star that one girl gushes over while her friend exclaims, “Gross!” There’s the rich man that one woman flings herself at while another is totally repulsed by his “ugliness” and doesn’t care anything about his money. There’s the sports star that one lady hangs on while another has zero interest in him because she doesn’t want someone who’s always training and has no time for her.
  
• If you were to lay out pictures of the greatest men of all time, men who have had enough of an impact on society that they are captured and recorded by history – from the beginning of time until now – you would see that there are all sizes, shapes, colors, and types of men. The reality is that what they looked like and what they had was really irrelevant and unimportant to the majority of society. What was important was who they were as a person, what they stood for, and the effect and impact they had on the well-being of others.
  
• Effective immediately, STOP attributing power to others while diminishing your own. That guy in the center of the room at the party telling the story…YOU CAN LEARN TO TELL AN INTERESTING STORY. That guy in the center of the room causing other people laugh…YOU CAN LEARN TO CAUSE PEOPLE LAUGH. That guy in the center of the room causing people to feel good about themselves…YOU CAN LEARN TO CAUSE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES. That guy in the center of the room who has accomplished something meaningful and important…YOU CAN DO WHAT IT TAKES TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING MEANINGFUL AND IMPORTANT. It’s true that you may not look like that guy but it’s also true that anything he can do, you can do – and some things you’ll do better and some things you won’t do as well. That makes you EQUAL even though there are differences between you.
  
• Over time, have you conditioned yourself to predominantly think in terms of your lack, inabilities, and limitations while thinking of others in terms of their abundance, capabilities, and possibilities? If so, REVERSE the way you think about yourself and your potential. The fact is, there is potential abundance of and opportunity for all good available everywhere to everyone – including you – including your marriage – including your sex life.
  
• ANY man who has sufficiently developed and balanced himself does not lack in sex. The only men who are lacking sex are those who have not developed themselves, their attractiveness, or their relationship skills. In fact, any time we experience any kind of lack or limitation in our lives that is our SIGNAL – that is our SIGN – that we need to develop and grow in some area of our life.
  
• Consider getting some books on success and prosperity as these will help you shift any lack and limitation consciousness over to one of prosperity and success which can only improve your marriage and your sex-life. Three books I strongly suggest you read AND ABSORB are (if you’re not a reader, these are also available in audio and video format):

1. “How To Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
2. “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill
3. “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne

• Yes, it’s true that every wife wants her husband to be “THE MAN”. But, what that “MAN” is, is in certain ways different for every woman alive. That’s why you don’t have to worry about it. All you have to do is take responsibility for being the very best that you can be – both personally and professionally – and you are competing with NO ONE except YOURSELF. Your task is to be a happy, positive, loving, accepting, approving, ever-improving person who knows who they are, where they’re at, and where they’re going while positively impacting as many people as possible on their way. And, as you continue to develop, expand, and enhance yourself through your competition with yourself, through your constant improvement of yourself, you become more and more attractive – you become “The MAN”.
  
• Besides, if you ever became an eligible bachelor, there would be plenty of ladies right where you live – assuming they knew about your availability – who’d be very interested in getting to know you better – and at least one of these ladies would be convinced that you were “THE MAN”. Of course, there’s no need for you to know about these ladies right now and there’s no need for them to know about you right now because you’re not eligible. But, if circumstances ever became such that you were eligible, God would definitely make the “arrangements”.
  
• A man who positions himself as a lesser man, as a subordinate man, as a nobody, or as a loser definitely does not turn on his wife. But, here’s the good news…you don’t have to be “better” than some other guy. You just have to be the very best YOU that you can possibly be.

As you give consideration to these bullets, it may well dawn on you that in truth, whether or not you enjoy a sex-filled marriage has nothing to do with some man in the middle of some room and EVERYTHING to do with YOU. And, the more you go to work on YOU, the more your wife’s attention and attraction will turn towards you.

Copyright 2008, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to http://www.marriedandhappy.com/ is included with it.

Do You Have An Unhappy Marriage And Your Wife’s Very Self-Critical?

Do you have a wife who is super-critical of herself?

Does your wife discredit and dismiss your every compliment in favor of her own negative opinion of herself?

Does your wife persistently talk about how ugly she feels?

If so, you’re not alone. There are many men who truthfully think their wife is beautiful and sexy and yet HER negative perspective of herself continues to be a major OBSTACLE in their marriage. SHE is blocking their marriage from being the happy, fulfilling union it is meant to be.

And, the more the husband tries to verbally or physically comfort her and reassure her, the more she goes negative.

So, what’s a guy to do – especially if his wife’s negative opinion of her self is destroying their marriage?

Well, here are some ideas for you to consider:

1. Consider taking a stronger leadership role in your marriage where you apply leadership principles such as the following:

o Continuous “messaging” – think of yourself as having the responsibility of positively “brainwashing” your wife. You’re brainwashing her to believe that SHE IS LOVED BY YOU, that SHE IS ATTRACTIVE TO YOU, and any other messages that you want her to hold as true. When a person receives a message often enough, they eventually come to believe it to be true.

o Authority dictation – consider taking a more authoritarian stance as a man who dictates in this area of weakness in your wife. For example, if your wife says she “feels ugly” then you firmly tell her, “I WILL BE THE ONE WHO DECIDES WHETHER I THINK YOU ARE PRETTY OR UGLY – NOT YOU! AND, IF I SAY YOU ARE PRETTY THEN THAT MEANS YOU ARE PRETTY, OK? NOW GET OVER HERE AND KISS ME LIKE A PRETTY WOMAN WOULD KISS ME!”

o Role playing – in some cases, it works better to simply ask your wife to “play the role of a pretty woman”. This is exactly what I engaged when I used the phrase, “get over here and kiss me like a pretty woman would kiss me”. It doesn’t matter whether or not she thinks she’s pretty. All she has to do is kiss like she IMAGINES a pretty woman would kiss like. In this way, you get what you want and totally bypass any hang-ups she has. This can be a powerful tool for you.

o Set expectations – while you are away – whether for the day or for a week, you can communicate to her what you want to have happen when you get home. So for example, if you’re away for a week on business, you can start telling her on Wednesday that you’re looking forward to returning home, that you’re excited to see her – and then go into descriptive detail of how you will be acting and behaving and how you want her to be acting and behaving. And, it’s not so much that you’re telling her how you want her to act as much as it’s you describing her acting and responding in a certain way. Think in terms of taking a group of kids to the zoo and you’re describing what they can do, what they can’t do, when they can do certain things and when they can’t do certain things. In this same vein, when you describe and set positive expectation for your wife, it redirects her mind to “travel” along with your way of thinking and off of her own way of self-critical thinking.

2. Help your wife understand that she lives in her body but she is not her body. That might sound a little weird at first but it’s important that every person understand that. Attractive women especially tend to have such an obsession with their physical characteristics that they never realize that they are a spiritual being who happens to be dwelling in a physical body at this time. So, WHO SHE IS AS A PERSON is far more important than what the body she lives in looks like. Yes, the body is important but it’s not the most important thing. Here’s another way to think of this, if your wife was 100 years old – inside of her shriveled, wrinkled, sagging, and weakened body there would still be a BEAUTIFUL, LOVING, WONDERFUL, YOUTHFUL person inside. That’s the part of her that you want to help her access and associate with more so than her physical body.

3. Do a double-check on yourself to make sure that you aren’t inadvertently saying or doing things that trigger insecurity within your wife. This can happen in all sorts of ways. What you might think is a benign remark about some other woman – even if it’s a sister or relative – can trigger massive insecurity or jealousy in your wife. So, watch out for this.

4. Be aware that the work environment you’re in or maybe the friends or associates that you associate with may well be triggering insecurity in your wife. For example, soldiers (men and women) are notorious for hitting the bars and hooking up for some sex on the side. You may not participate in any of this but if those around you are, then this can be very threatening to your wife.

5. Sometimes it’s useful to help people see how they impact others. In your case, when you compliment your wife and she starts self-deprecating, stop her right in the middle and ask her to consider how it might make you feel when you’ve given her a compliment and she dismisses that compliment as if you were some insignificant idiot. It may be that she’s never considered things from this angle. So, stop her when she dismisses your compliments and get into a discussion of what her thoughts and feelings are and how it is that has come to have those particular thoughts and feelings. Then, express your thoughts and feelings. After both of you have expressed, then work out a mutually acceptable solution.

6. Another approach is to have her consider how her self-critical perspective is an offense to God. In other words, if she thinks she’s ugly, then she’s in effect saying that God made something ugly. God doesn’t make mistakes, God doesn’t make junk – and she should stop making such false accusations to God.

Based on your knowledge of your relationship, you probably already recognize some ideas that are right for you – and you can now do the right things to get your marriage going in the right direction.

Copyright 2008, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to http://www.marriedandhappy.com/ is included with it.