How to Have a Great Marriage Relationship

If you are to have a great marriage, if you are to have a relationship that is filled with happiness and fulfillment, it’s apparent that BOTH you and your spouse must CARE about each other.

But, there’s something that isn’t so apparent about how people within a marriage care. Let me explain…

When you read the word “care” in the first paragraph, you may have thought to yourself, “My spouse needs to be more caring towards me.” And, that may be true and we’ll deal with that in a moment but first, let’s check up on YOU…

All too often, married people:

· Care about what they can get from their spouse
· Care about how their spouse makes them look
· Care about what their spouse can do for them
· Care about how their spouse helps them fit the societal norm of being married with two children
· Etc.

But, they DON’T care about their spouse as a unique individual with particular interests and passions and they DON’T have a desire to lovingly SHARE in that individuality in a meaningful way.

As such, they DON’T really care about their spouse. They may have genuinely cared when they first got married but now their caring has DEGENERATED into a selfish caring.

Obviously, such selfishness is not the foundation of a happy, healthy, fulfilling marriage relationship.

So, take an honest look at yourself now. Just how much do you like, appreciate, approve, support, and even celebrate the unique individuality of your spouse?

Your answer to that question will tell you just how caring you are towards your spouse.

And here’s the thing…without a significant level of persistent caring between you and your spouse it’s impossible for there to be satisfying love – let alone lasting love.

In fact, all that can come from such lack of care is coldness, distance, disrespect, rejection, emotional abuse, and ultimately, the destruction of the marriage relationship.

Before there can be love, there must be mutual caring. Therefore, to enjoy more love in your marriage relationship, be more caring towards your spouse.

You can start by learning to chit-chat about whatever little things happen to be on your spouse’s mind – and doing so WITH INTEREST and ENJOYMENT! Doing so will build an ON-GOING connection between you and your spouse because there’s always some little something on their mind that the two of you can chit-chat about.

Now, let’s switch tracks. How do you get your spouse to be more caring towards you?

First, you don’t get angry or disgruntled with your spouse. Rather, you put REAL effort into enhancing and improving yourself, your skills, and your actions.

Did you RESIST what I just said?

Many people do. Now, pay attention…

Wonderful relationships come from being a wonderful person who has wonderful skills and who does wonderful things in relation to their spouse.

In other words, if you want a great relationship, YOU must first be the kind of person who has developed and who uses great skills in order to PRODUCE a great relationship.

Second, you stay calm, positive, and loving towards your spouse while communicating directly and firmly with them about the problem or issue. You stay loving towards your spouse at all times and directly and firmly communicate the thing you would like to see changed.

For the most part, people are UNAWARE of how what they are doing affects and impacts others. It’s a RARE person who maliciously does things to hurt others. Based on this, your strategy is to lovingly yet directly and firmly bring to your spouse’s ATTENTION the thing you want changed. Your strategy is to RAISE THEIR AWARENESS of how their actions or lack of action impact and affect you.

And, if you do this in a loving, calm, positive way, your spouse will inevitably receive it and make the corresponding changes.

Copyright 2008, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to http://www.marriedandhappy.com/ is included with it.

Men, Here’s Where Your Wife Is Getting Her Sexual Needs Met…

There's a secret place that women go to in order to get their sexual needs met.

Men seem to be mostly unaware of this place…and TOTALLY unaware of what’s really going on inside…

If asked, many husbands would tell you that their wife just isn’t very sexual. They would tell you that sex is WAY DOWN towards the bottom – if not at the bottom – of their wife’s list of what’s important.

And, these men have no clue how wrong they are about their wife.

If they could somehow sneak into their wife’s mind for just one day, they would be SHOCKED at just how sexual their wife really is.

These men think they are married to a “cold fish” and they don’t even know that their wife is a very sexual person – and she’s personally taking care of getting her sexual needs met…

Without him!

Now, you can breathe easy knowing that most of these wives aren’t engaging in physical sex with other men…

But inside their minds, inside their most INCREDIBLE SEX “ORGAN” (their minds), all sorts of sexual thoughts are going on.

Hardly a day goes by but what these wives make sure they find a time and a place where they can let their mind take flight off to a wonderful land of sexual fantasy.

And, whereas a man’s sexual fantasy usually has a primary focus on the visual and physical aspects of sex, a woman’s sexual fantasy usually has far more “story” to it.

This is because a lot of what turns a woman on is EXPERIENCING a dichotomy of emotions – its contrasting feelings that do the trick for her.

So, when she can experience a story of highs and lows, the familiar and the mysterious, the known and the unknown, the friend and the stranger, the deceiver and the deceived, the loss and the gain, the new and the old, etc. in the realm of dating, romance, and marriage, it becomes a very sexual experience for her.

In other words, as a woman EXPERIENCES the TENSION created by the dichotomy of emotions contained within her “story” she TRANSMUTES the expression of her sexuality from the physical realm into the mental realm.

She dare not tell her husband – or any man for that matter – but it’s nevertheless true.

So, do you now see where you’re wife is getting her sexual needs met? She’s getting them met in her mind – with the help of prop’s like romance novels and soap opera’s.

Maybe, you can do a little investigation for yourself…

Go take a stroll through your nearest used book store. You’ll be BLOWN AWAY by the aisles and aisles of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves FILLED with romance novels.

And notice, these books are NOT collecting any dust – they’re flying off the shelves as hoards of women are buying, selling, and trading them.

If that’s too much of a trip for you, just waltz over to your wife’s bookshelf – and notice all the romance novels that she has.

Then, take a stroll over to the TV that she watches – and check out the GIGABYTES of soap operas that she’s recorded…

All designed to help her meet her sexual needs – all designed to help her create that dichotomy of emotions – so that she can get sexual “release” without you.

She’d rather it be WITH YOU…

She’d rather you TUNE IN and CHECK IN to her sexuality…

She’d rather you be the one who provides her with that emotional excitement that’s so sexually stimulating to her…

She’d rather you be the one who “takes her on a journey”…

…so that she can enjoy sex at the physical level too.

Here’s something you can do…buy a romance novel and ask your wife to let you read it to her. As you read, pay attention – pay attention to the dichotomy of emotions being created by the story. Pay attention to the responses and reactions of your wife. By paying attention, you’ll LEARN – from both the romance novel and from your wife.

You may think this is a stupid idea but if you’re smart, you’ll try it – and you’ll find out for yourself that it definitely takes your relationship in a sexual direction.

Copyright 2008, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to http://www.marriedandhappy.com/ is included with it.

Men, Have You Helped Your Wife Blossom Her Sexuality?

For most women, the whole time they are growing up, they are preached at by everyone in their experience to abstain from all things sexual. Usually, the message – whether spoken or unspoken – is that sex is taboo, dirty, nasty, sinful, evil, wrong, bad, or harmful.

Eventually of course, a young woman’s body and mind begins to tell her differently. Eventually, her mind and body begin to suggest to her that sex is a wonderful thing to be shared and experienced with the right person.

However, for most women…

Until the right man comes along and helps her get past her conditioning and programming…

Until the right man comes along and helps her find out that it’s safe, fun, and wonderful to really “let her hair down”…

Both she and the man in her life will be unhappy – they will both be sexually unfulfilled.

Do not underestimate the power of a woman’s conditioning. The net result of most women’s conditioning is that they end up with an “I’m not supposed to like sex” notion installed in their mind and even after they’re married, they continue to live in that mental world – and therefore that IS their physical reality – and the man’s that she happens to be married to.

Now, it may be true that a woman was sexually rebellious and promiscuous during her teenage years. It may be true that a woman is now married. It may be true that a woman has children. It may be true that she talks a lot about sex with her girlfriends. She may even read magazine articles related to sexual topics or watch all the steamy sex scenes in her favorite soap opera. And, none of these mean her sexuality has been developed and blossomed into what it can be and what it should be.

Granted, there’s the rare woman who does not allow past conditioning and societal norms to rule and control her mind or body and thus she’s able to blossom her sexuality of her own accord. But, most can’t.

Let’s take this deeper…

A look at the relationships section of a bookstore or an online scan on relationships can easily lead you to believe that the only thing that’s missing is for you – the man – to learn a certain set of sexual techniques.

In our society, there seems to be a pervading belief accepted among men – and bizarrely, among women too – that women are just waiting for “Mr. Sexual Expert” – the guy who knows all the “super ancient Oriental sex secrets” – the guy with paranormal sex skills – to come along and take her to heights of ecstasy that’s beyond anything she’s ever imagined before – all without any initiative or effort on her part.

This is the stuff that fantasies are made out of – both for men and women.

Here’s the truth that you need to know…such a concept is UTTER NONSENSE!

Now, having said this, if you’re anything like the normal guy, you’ve already dug into the details of some of these “super-secret sex skills”…

You then tried them on your wife…

And it was a total flop! Not only did it not work for her, she didn’t like it at all.

And you, along with all the other guys, were left scratching your head, wondering if the problem was with you or with her or both – and then you’re off looking for the real “super-sex secret” that you haven’t yet found…

The fact is, the normal woman can quickly and easily have an orgasm every time she engages in sex – IF SHE HAS EXPLORED, DISCOVERED, AND LEARNED WHAT IT IS THAT WORKS FOR HER!

But, ONLY she can do that. No man alive – no matter what he does or does not know – can do that for her.

Granted, a sexually experienced and knowledgeable man can “guide” her – based on generalities and similarities that he’s learned from other women – and take her to sexual heights that may be beyond what she’s experienced before. But, NO MAN can take her to her highest heights until she FIRST explores, discovers, and learns for herself what it is that works best for her mind and her body.

And, that’s where you the man come in. Because of their past conditioning and because of the constant negative insinuations related to sex, most women need a man that they love and trust to help them explore, discover, and learn what it is that works for them sexually.

Here’s the thing, just as every person is uniquely different from every other person in the world, each man and woman’s sexual expression IS unique and different from every other person’s sexual expression.

Yes, there are always generalities and similarities but each person is still a unique package when it comes to sexual expression – and that “package” can only be found, articulated, demonstrated, and shared through SELF-DISCOVERY.

Lucky for us guys, the irony is that for most women, they need a man they love and trust to help guide them into this self-discovery. It’s how a woman thinks about sex that blocks her from exploring and developing. A woman has to first realize and accept that it’s her womanly right to learn about and enjoy the wonderful pleasures of sex. And again, she needs you to help her with that.

And, it’s by helping and encouraging your wife to take this journey of self-discovery – and making it ABSOLUTELY SAFE for her to do so – that you help your wife blossom her sexuality.

And once she’s taken that self-discovering journey, she’ll forevermore be a woman who expresses herself sexually.

And, why shouldn’t she?

She’s now has the key to quick and easy orgasmic ecstasy whereas before she had nothing but laborious, difficult, disappointing, frustrating, and unfulfilling intercourse. Before, she had an orgasm “once in a blue moon”. Now, she’s fully assured of wonderful pleasure every time intimacy is initiated.

So, really bring this home to yourself…

Being a man of superior sexual prowess is utter nonsense – a totally bogus concept.

Conversely, being a man who KNOWS how to please his wife sexually – because you’ve helped her take the journey of sexual self-discovery and learned from her what it is that works for her – that’s where it’s at.

That’s when you become the man that your wife sexually dreams about – except it won’t be a dream – it will be a reality.

While your guy-friends complain that their wife would rather clean house than have sex, your wife will be destroying the house with you – as you engage in passionate, fulfilling sex.

Copyright 2008, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to http://www.marriedandhappy.com/ is included with it.