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How To Deal With A Nagging Wife...

Every so often, a man will come to me and ask, "How do I get my wife to stop griping and nagging at me?"

When I ask him what it is that his wife is complaining about, he'll tell me, "Oh, it's mostly just a lot of "piddly" stuff, things like

* She gripes about the way I dress
* She rides me about the way I talk
* She doesn't like the way I do certain things
* She complains that I'm too sloppy
* She says I need to be more motivated
* She chides me for not standing up for myself the way she thinks I should

Or, it's some chore around the house that she wants me to do that I haven't had time to deal with yet."

With very few exceptions, as I listen to the man describe his wife's griping and nagging it quickly becomes apparent to me...

His wife is trying to help him become a classier, more professional, more successful man!

Any woman worth having wants her man, herself, and any children to have the most significant and meaningful life possible. And, she knows that having such a life is a lot easier if her man is being all that he is capable of being. She also knows that a significant and meaningful life is unlikely if her man operates at a level that's lower than what he's capable of.

So, when a woman sees that her man is not being all that he can be, she'll start griping, complaining, and riding him.

Or, more accurately, she'll start trying to motivate him to be more.

This is not unlike a mother Eagle that builds a nest for her babies that's filled with the softest down and fur. But, as the chicks (usually there are two of them) begin to grow, the mother begins taking out the soft, comfortable lining little by little until there's nothing left but sharp, uncomfortable, sticks and briars. Eventually, it becomes more comfortable for the young eagles to get out of the nest and learn to fly than to stay in the uncomfortable nest.

Here's what I want you to consider... More than likely, your wife is trying to help you. If your wife is like most women, she does NOT enjoy having to nag her husband. But, she does want her husband to be the best that he can be.

In the Bible, we can read the phrase, "Behold, I set before you a blessing and a curse."

It's your option to view your wife and her nagging as a curse. Or, you can realize that your wife is trying to be a blessing to you.

Is there something that your wife regularly harps about?

If so, consider it carefully. Consider where, what, and how it is that you can enhance and improve yourself as a man. Consider what it is that your wife is telling you that can benefit you and your entire family if you'll but listen and act upon what it is she's saying.

Here's what I can tell you... The men with the happiest, most sexual marriages make their wife's griping and nagging go away by using what she has to say as a driving force that motivates them to improve, grow, and expand into a more powerful, more influential, more successful man.

That reminds me of the old saying, "Behind every great man is a great woman." Dare I say that there would be a lot more great men if there were more men who would use what their wife has to say to them to fire them up in a positive direction?

Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article as is and unchanged ONLY if a resource box pointing to is included with it.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Finally, an article that doesn't try to joke at the subject. Very well written.

June 4, 2009 10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, I think your article is totally wrong. The key is your comparison of a nagging wife with a mother bird and her children. A husband is NOT the wife's child. Rest assured, if the tables were turned and the husband was constantly nagging the wife, she would not put up with it for a second. No, the issue here is that it is incumbent on the woman to treat her husband with the respect that she herself would like to be shown.

October 21, 2009 7:30 AM  
Blogger Calle Zorro said...

Relative to getting more respect, I suggest the following posts:

Read more:

December 9, 2009 5:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a very interesting article.

Like with any other subject, the best way to learn about a woman is to ask a woman. Asking for a man's opinion is the WORST way to go.

However, from a UNISEX position (lol, is that possible, an unbiased opinion), I agree with the followup comment.

The best relationships are where there is mutual respect, and mutual effort to fill the needs of the other (also known as love). You do not help people to improve by telling them how to improve. When people want to improve, they ask for it. The secret is, therefore, if you have a lazy husband or wife, how can you turn their idleness into the desire to become great. That is the real trick. And it usually starts with patience, not nagging.

January 6, 2010 2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have tried your advice, but now my wife is still nagging me - infact it is worse and it is so depressing. It seems that the more I do - the more I am nagged. Now I have no time to myself and have started drinking too much.

January 31, 2010 2:47 AM  
Anonymous Edward said...

Calle, you kind of went backwards on this one. All of your articles are more or less focused on being a man your wife wants. Simply doing those things your wife nags you about is akin to being a teenager under the nagging tutelage of a frustrated mother. Big turn-off. What's the secret? After reading many of your articles, here's my best advice:
1- Be about the business of doing things BEFORE your wife starts nagging you to do them.
2- Make them seem to be YOUR idea. Come up with logical support for your motives so that they have nothing to do with "because she nagged me into it".
3- Make her aware of the things you do and your subsequent plans for the future, but not in a "looky what I did" way, but in a "I did this because it obviously needed done and now that THAT's taken care of, I can more freely tackle the next thing."
Example: Your wife nagged you last week that the-garage-is-filthy-and-why-don't-you-ever-clean-it-up-I-don't-get-how-you-can-put-up-with-such-a-mess.
When she's not paying attention, clean up the garage and then say "Honey, I cleaned up the garage because I needed to clear enough space to do some repairs on the deck railing that broke last winter. Do you know where the car soap is? I'd like to wash and vaccuum your car for you while I'm at it. Hey, how about we go for a drive afterward down to that cute bistro across town you've been wanting to visit? Nothing like a sandwich and coffee date with a pretty girl driving a shiny car..."

How's that?

March 11, 2010 11:47 AM  

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