Why Jack's Wife Doesn't Want To Have Sex With Him...

After having helped a lot of men from all over the world create a happier, more sexual marriage, I've come to understand an incredible truth: men unknowingly block the very affection, respect, and sex they desire.

Interestingly, the more a husband refuses and rejects this truth...the more a man wants to shift the blame to his wife...the less affection, respect, and sex he has in his marriage...and the worse his marriage grows...guaranteed!

Permit me to illustrate this point by drawing out a few paraphrased points from a "B-movie" I recently watch titled "Far Cry".

In this movie, the leading male character is an ex-Special Forces tough guy named Jack who can handle people with ease...both physically and mentally...up until he gets into an intimate setting with the leading female character named Valerie...at which point he turns into a total "stooge".

Here's what happened...thanks to the efforts of the "bad guys", Jack and Valerie end up dumped in the ocean...they swim to land...they find an abandoned house...where they take the night to recover and recoup. Once they get some lamps lit, Valerie brings it to Jack's attention that he's been shot...and he dismisses it as "just a scratch" and wraps it with a bit of gauze. Now, here's what I'm leading up to...

Jack wants to get into Valerie's panties...so, he tells her that she NEEDS to get out of her wet clothes or she'll get sick...Valerie gets out of her clothes (you don't really see anything so guys there's no need to get excited) and gets into the bed that happens to be there with fresh sheets and blankets. Jack then gets out of his wet clothes too...and then gives this LAME excuse that he thinks he's starting to get hypothermia and he needs to get into the bed with her.

Now mind how absurd this is...here's a guy who's just got shot and that's nothing...but because the house is a little cooler than is comfortable...and more importantly, he wants to get into Valerie's panties...he starts "claiming" hypothermia.

So now, Jack and Valerie are in bed...he's on his side and she's on her side...Jack still wants to get into Valerie's panties...so, he has to come up with some way to get them even closer. So, Jack proceeds to shift the focus away from what is really his sexual approach by telling Valerie that back when he was in the military, and they were in a situation like this, they shared body heat with another person...and suggests that they should do the same thing now...just so they can "get warm".

Since it's the make-believe world of movies, Valerie goes along with Jack's ongoing "drivel" and "nonsense" and they end up making love.

But, in the real world, when a husband approaches his wife in this kind of nonsensical way...spewing drivel all along the way, she IS turned off by him and she does NOT go along with it...at least not for very long.

Instead, she soon starts claiming she's tired...or that she has a headache...or whatever excuse she has to use to get out of being intimate with the "stooge" that she's married to.

And, I'm wondering...what are the nonsensical ways that you've tried to shoe-horn your wife into having sex with you?

Take a moment to look back and assess yourself...what LAME statements, excuses, and focus-shifting have you concocted in the past to try to get into your wife's panties?

Ok, let's move on...the situation gets worse...the next morning, Jack asks Valerie the question, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how good was I?" Valerie tries and tries to ignore the question...she rolls her eyes to herself when Jack isn't looking...but Jack is persistent...he has GOT to know how he "rates"...he won't give up until he finds out...and Valerie finally tells him that he's a '2'...and of course Jack doesn't like that answer so he keeps pushing until Valerie "gives him another number" and makes him a '3'...and for the entire rest of the movie Jack keeps harping on and complaining about Valerie's judgment that he's only a level 2 - 3 lover.

And, just like Jack...insecure, needy husbands all over the world have asked their wife time and time again to "judge" them...and because the wife knows that her husband needs her to make him feel ok about himself, she tells him that he's a '10'...she even sometimes tells him that on the scale of 1 - 10 he's an '11' or even a '12'...she doesn't dare tell him that he's really a 2 or 3 because she knows that his fragile, weak ego and self-esteem would be shattered and she'd be dealing with a guy who was even more insecure, needy, depressed and whiny than he already is.

And again, I'm wondering...in your insecurity and neediness...what are all the different ways you've asked your wife to judge you...so that you could feel good about yourself in relation to her?

Like I said before...men unknowingly block the very affection, respect, and sex they desire.

The good news is, if a man can "block" the affection, respect, and sex that he desires, he can also learn how to remove that block...you can find out how to "open" the way so that your wife WANTS to shower you with affection, respect, and sex.

The "way" that works so well is here: http://www.dothisgetsex.com/

Copyright 2009 by Calle Zorro, MarriedAndHappy.com

Permission is granted to reprint this article as is and unchanged ONLY if the following is included with it:

[ Article by Calle Zorro, http://www.dothisgetsex.com/ ]

How Can I Get My Wife To Be More Loving And Sexual?

I don't mean to do it...really, I don't...but it seems to happen anyway...usually, right after I name nonsense for what it really is. For instance, a man recently said the following to me:

"I adore my wife. She is 100% perfect even if she is not because I LOVE HER! I tell her every day how much she means to me. I let her know exactly how I feel about her. Because I TRULY love her, I don't have any expectation of my wife. When she is acting like a child, I don't see any less of a woman than I did when we first met. It's been several years now and I still feel the exact same way about her. If she argues with me, calls me names, thinks I'm stupid, etc...even though she's the one who is acting like a child, I tend to see past it...never once calling her a single name or blaming it on her. And, I let her know that I don't want to blame her for anything...that I just wish she would calm down and hear my side of the puzzle after letting her know that I do understand where she is coming from (I practice empathy as well as sympathy). The hard part is that even though I treat my wife this way, she doesn't love me back. It would be really nice if just once in a while, my wife would show that she loves me and cares for me."

Even though it happens all the time in my work, I still can't help but be amazed when I encounter a man like this one. On one hand, as I quoted above, he's telling me how much he loves his wife. On the other hand, he's telling me how unhappy and miserable he is because his wife despises him, disrespects him, dishonors him, belittles him, is verbally and emotionally abusive to him, and REFUSES to be intimate with him in any way, shape, or form. Moreover, even though his wife gives him NOTHING, she FULLY EXPECTS him to give her ANYTHING and EVERYTHING she wants plus more.

Do you recognize the mental and emotional contradiction and denial of truth?

Anyway, after this man told me his story, he asked me this question, "Is there a way I can FIX MY WIFE so that she will stop being the way she is and start loving me back?"

Therein lies the mental block to this man's happiness...he believes it's the case that there's nothing wrong with him...that he's doing everything just right...that there's some problem in his wife...and if someone could just help him understand how to solve that problem...so that he could FIX HIS WIFE, then everything would be just the way HE wants it to be.

So, the first thing I tell a man like this is, "I have to shoot straight with you...you DO NOT love your wife...if you did, you would NOT put up with this kind of nonsense from her. Just as a responsible Dad does not let his children abuse other people, a loving husband does not let his wife abuse other people -- himself included -- either."

The second thing I tell a man like this is, "At this time, there is nothing in your wife to fix. Right now, the only thing that needs fixing is YOU. After you get YOU fixed, THEN, there MIGHT be some things to fix in your wife."

Now, this is when it usually happens...the man becomes quite offended and indignant...and exclaims something like, "You mean to tell me that even though I'm nice and loving to my wife...the reason she doesn't love me back is because it's something wrong with ME? That is absolute $%#$ #$%^#$! That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!!!"

It's the denial of truth issue again...mostly, men like this one REJECT what I tell them...and they just continue looking for a way to FIX THEIR WIFE...and I've followed up with enough of these men in my research efforts to know that their life continues to get more and more miserable and unhappy...and their wife generally starts cheating on them...and she gets caught...but because he "loves" her, he wants to work it all out...but the pain and anguish of knowing that she won't be sexual with him but she will be sexual with other men torments his mind...and still, he just wants to know, "How can I fix my wife?"

Men like this one view their wife as having a problem...a problem that needs to be solved...and while they are trying to solve their "wife problem" they are BLIND to what CAUSES the problem...themselves.

The ironic thing is, if you were to talk to this man's wife, she'd probably say there's nothing wrong with her and that her husband is the one with the "problem"...and that's why she acts and behaves the way she does.

The "problem" that the husband can't see in himself, his wife can see it quite plainly...and she undeniably, indisputably RESPONDS and REACTS to what she sees in him.

And, the "problem" is that this man's wife sees a man who has no self-respect. She sees a man who has no masculinity. She sees a man who is so unbelievably "needy" of her that he is repulsive. She sees a man who is so weak he won't even stand up for himself -- and therefore he DESERVES to be USED and ABUSED.

All of these things work together in the mind of this man's wife such that she sees him as GROSS...his very touch feels GROSS...and that's why she can't be sexual with him...that's why she doesn't even want to kiss him on the lips.

And all the while, the guy thinks he's being a loving husband.

But, his wife's still a highly sexual being...she still craves sex...regardless of what she tells her husband...and that's why she eventually either cheats on her husband or divorces him and goes to another man.

This is why I tell men like this one that THEY are the one who needs FIXING...THEY are the one who needs to make some shifts in the way they think and operate...and when they make those shifts...when they FIX THEMSELVES, they generally find out that all the "problems" they thought their wife had magically disappear.

A husband can get help making these shifts that work so well here: http://www.dothisgetsex.com/

Copyright 2009 by Calle Zorro, MarriedAndHappy.com

Permission is granted to reprint this article as is and unchanged ONLY if the following is included with it:

[ Article by Calle Zorro, http://www.dothisgetsex.com/ ]