Have you ever asked your wife how you can make her happier? If yes, that was most likely a HUGE MISTAKE!!!
Have you ever asked your wife how you can be a better husband for her? If yes, that was most likely a HUGE MISTAKE!!!
Have you ever asked your wife what you can do to help you relate to her better? If yes, that was most likely a HUGE MISTAKE!!!
Have you ever asked your wife how you can have a better marriage with her? If yes, that was most likely a HUGE MISTAKE!!!
Have you ever asked your wife for marriage advice and guidance? If yes, that was most likely a HUGE MISTAKE!!!
Have you ever asked your wife how you can succeed with her better? If yes, that was most likely a HUGE MISTAKE!!!
Let me tell you about “fairy-tale diversion”…
For a normal woman, the story of a prince “chasing after” a princess is DEFINITELY mental-candy that “tastes” VERY, VERY good to her.
Consequently, a woman will start thinking that she what she wants is a prince chasing after her too.
She starts thinking that what she wants is a prince who is “all about her”.
She starts thinking that what she wants is a prince who will only think about her.
She starts thinking that what she wants is a prince who is running all over the countryside or cityscape in pursuit of pleasing, satisfying, and winning her.
She starts thinking that what she wants is a prince who does nothing but wait on her and attend to her every whim and wish.
She starts thinking that what she wants is a prince who jumps through hoops, clears hurdles, and overcomes obstacles just to get to her.
This fairy-tale concept and thought-pattern particularly grabs a woman and surfaces in her consciousness when she has just watched a romantic movie or read a romantic book that SHE enjoyed (again, mental-candy).
So, as she is thinking these “fairy-tale” thoughts…she gets “diverted” into thinking that this is what she wants from her husband.
And of course, the typical husband…instead of being the leader and the definer of their marriage relationship…is asking his wife to be the leader and the definer…and so, in response to his questioning…and in response to the fairy-tale mental candy rolling around in her head…the typical wife “diverts” herself and her husband into a relationship “model” that DOES NOT WORK.
To emphasize what I just said: the fairy-tale model has never worked…and it never will work. It won’t work for a wife…and it DEFINITELY won’t work for a husband!
More specifically, the result of a wife diverting herself and her husband into the non-working fairy-tale model…is that they both end up in a not-very-satisfying relationship…a relationship that is lacking in respect, appreciation, valuing, affection, intimacy, sex, and passion.
Now, any smart and wise husband will certainly strive diligently to develop himself into the most princely man that he can possibly become. But at the same time, he must NEVER allow himself to be “diverted” by his (good-intentioned but misguided) wife onto a path on which he cannot possibly succeed with her.
Similarly…in reference to the questions at the beginning…it is self-evident that a husband SHOULD be learning how to make his wife happier…he SHOULD be learning how to be a better husband…he SHOULD be learning how to create a better relationship with his wife.
But, for many critically important reasons, he should NEVER be trying to learn this stuff from his wife!!!
To be a bit more specific, he should NOT ask his wife to define the parameters of their marriage relationship for the both of them. He should NOT ask his wife to explain to him how they can have a happy marriage relationship together. He should NOT ask his wife to provide the answers and solutions to their marriage issues. To do any of these things will prove to be a HUGE MISTAKE 99 times out of 100!!!
So, beware of “fairy-tale diversion”. Do NOT ask your wife to send you and her off down a path that will not work for either of you.
Now, if it is the case that you are ALREADY off down the “wrong” path…if it is the case that you have been trying harder and harder over time to give your wife the “fairy-tale”…and things aren’t working as well as they should…well, join us here at Married And Happy and put yourself and your wife in the model that WILL work for both of you…that WILL produce the satisfaction and fulfillment in your marriage relationship that you both want.
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro