Would you like to know how to get your wife to be more sexual with you? If yes, then let’s dive right in.
Have you ever seen a bored, cold, withdrawn, distant, unfriendly, closed-down woman when she was with a man she was attracted to, turned on by, and excited about?
I didn’t think so! I haven’t ever seen such a woman either.
Rather, when a woman is with a man she is attracted to, she is a bundle of energy, excitement, passion, vivaciousness, liveliness, animation, exuberance, cheerfulness, chirpiness, big smiles, and so on.
She is quite literally a sparkling human being!
And the interesting thing is, what she is actually doing with the man she is attracted to may be the most boring, mundane, simplistic thing ever. For example, the man may be doing nothing more than driving her to a 1-star restaurant…and yet, she will be “all fired up” and “bubbling over” in a setting that is nothing more than a car ride and a cheap restaurant.
But, for the woman, the big issue is NOT what she and the man are doing together. The big issue is the fact that she is getting “face-time” with a man that she is attracted to…a man that she respects, admires, and desires.
Moreover, while she is with this man she is attracted to, she is NOT interested in starting arguments. She is NOT interested in being at odds with him. She is NOT interested in disagreeing, contending, arguing, or in being in opposition to him.
Likewise, she will NOT sit silently with nothing to say while she is with the man she is attracted to. When she opens her mouth, it is NOT to share some menial administrative fact that is really nothing more than filler. Instead, she will literally be a gushing fountain of conversation.
Furthermore, she will have endless, boundless energy when she is with this man she is attracted to. She can quite literally stay awake all night long…or as long as the man she is attracted to chooses to stay up with her.
Plainly, a woman will exhibit all of these (plus other) positive, enjoyable, pleasant, and desirable characteristics and behaviors when she is with a man she is attracted to.
The corollary here is that the less attracted a woman is to a man, the less she will exhibit these characteristics and behaviors.
So, having the kind of relationship that you want to have with your wife depends upon you being attractive, desirable, and appealing to her.
When you are attractive to your wife, she WILL be everything that you are wanting her to be towards you.
When your way of thinking, operating, relating, and interacting is more appealing and desirable to your wife…then you will be able to get your wife to be more sexual with you.
Conversely, when you fall short in attractiveness, your wife WILL be LESS than you are wanting her to be towards you.
Unfortunately, in far too many marriages, the wife simply is not very attracted to her husband…and that is why the husband suffers in a not-very-sexual relationship.
Now, let’s get clear on what attraction is…
For the typical male, the feeling of “attraction” stems predominately from what a female looks like…and IF she looks good to him…IF she looks physically appealing to him…then he WANTS to have sex with her…and hence, he feels “attraction” for her.
In short, about all the typical male needs in order to feel “attraction” is a female body-form that he finds sexually desirable.
This is the case with most husbands. Their wife is physically appealing to them…so they feel attracted to her.
Here is what you must understand: this is NOT how it is for a female!
Now, that might sound obvious. But the reality is that the typical male only processes from his own perspective…and he has little awareness that his wife’s way of processing things is very different from his own way.
This is evidenced by the fact that the typical husband is horny for his wife…and because that is HIS perspective…he just wants his wife to think and want the same thing towards him.
In other words, the typical husband has little awareness that the drivers, factors, and criteria by which his wife processes are very different from his own drivers, factors, and criteria.
Consequently, he gets very frustrated and angry when his wife does NOT mirror him sexually. He gets very irritated and bothered when what is driving him does not also drive his wife in the same way. He gets hateful and spiteful when his wife does not feel physical-sexual-attraction for him like he feels for her.
And, the result of this mentality and unawareness is the dissatisfying marriage relationship that many husbands suffer in.
So, what is “attraction” for a woman?
Well, what a man physically looks like is something she evaluates the first couple of times she sees him. And, what a man looks like is important when she first introduces him to her family and friends. But beyond these exceptions, what a man looks like is more or less at the bottom of her list of what is important.
I am not saying that a man’s looks are irrelevant. But, I am saying that a husband’s looks are NOT the primary determinant as to whether his wife is attracted to him or not.
And for sure, many a guy has worked himself to a frazzle at the gym trying to get his woman to be more attracted to him…and no matter how “ripped” he gets…he abjectly fails in turning her on towards him.
He fails because he fails to realize that for a woman, “attraction” is based more upon how a male thinks, processes, behaves, operates, interacts, relates, and conducts himself relative to her. He can become the most “ripped” guy ever…and the woman he is with STILL will not be attracted to him or turned on by him.
Conversely, as an extreme example, there are cases where a beautiful woman is madly in love with and extremely sexual with a bald-headed, pot-bellied, no-job-and-no-money guy who still lives with his elderly mom. He is disgusting in his looks and in who he is as a person…but, RELATIVE TO THE WOMAN, he thinks, processes, behaves, operates, interacts, relates, and conducts himself in a way that triggers attraction in her TOWARDS HIM.
As a more mainstream example, I frequently get called by some husband whose wife has just left him for some other man…and he cannot understand why because he is better looking than the other man…he is more successful than the other man…he has a higher status in life than the other man…but yet, his wife still ran off with the other man.
Well, she ran off with the less-attractive, less-successful, lower-status man because he knew how to think, process, behave, operate, interact, relate, and conduct himself in a way that triggered “attraction” in her…while her husband…in spite of his looks, success, and status…failed to trigger sufficient attraction in her. That is why she left her husband for a “lesser” man.
Now, there is another element to consider…
It is usually the case that a female seems to be attracted to a male when they are dating and when they are first married. Most husbands can remember their wife being that “sparkling” female I described previously.
But then, after a certain amount of time passes, the wife stops being as “sparkly”. She loses her passion. She is no longer as vibrant. She starts withdrawing. She stops being as sexual. She begins starting fights. She seemingly begins to relish conflict and discord…and so on.
And, the typical husband cannot understand what happened to his wife. He does not understand why his wife became a different woman towards him. All he knows is that he wants his “original” wife back.
Well, here is what you have to understand: his wife was never “attracted” to him based upon him actually being an attractively-operating man. Rather, he just so happened to be an acceptably cute guy with a nice-enough smile and a cool-enough vehicle that SHE COULD LET HERSELF PLUG HIM INTO THE FANTASY SHE HAD RUNNING IN HER MIND.
But, after a bit of time in the reality of life…it quickly becomes apparent to the wife that the guy she married is NOTHING like what she “thought” he was.
In HER self-built fantasy, the guy she dated and married was perfect…no matter how relationally ignorant and undeveloped he actually was…no matter how “unattractive” he was in reality. In other words, her fantasy blinded her to the REAL guy that she dated and married.
But, as time passes, it becomes clearer and clearer to the woman that the guy she is married to does not “hold up” or “measure up” to the man she pictures in HER fantasy…the guy she is married to no longer “fits” in HER fantasy…he no longer matches what she “thought” he was…and all she sees NOW is how relationally ignorant and undeveloped her husband really is…all she sees NOW is how “unattractive” he really is relative to her.
The result is that the wife “changes”. She stops being the wife she initially was. She can no longer be the “hot wife” to her husband because she is no longer attracted to him. Affectionately, intimately, emotionally, and sexually, she moves away from her husband…just like he would move away from her if she stopped taking care of herself physically and turned into a physically-repulsive hag.
Unfortunately, what I am describing here is precisely why so many husbands find themselves living with a wife who is no longer very affectionate, intimate, or sexual.
The not-so-funny phenomenon is that the typical guy starts out a relationship thinking he is great and awesome…based upon the response he is getting from his gal. But, it’s not long until he is unhappy and frustrated…and feeling like there is no way for him to win with his wife.
Well, in truth, from a relational perspective, this guy was NEVER great or awesome. He was relationally ignorant and undeveloped all along. It’s just that the gal’s fantasy was sufficiently strong enough that it hid his relational ineptness.
That brings us back to this: EVERYTHING you want to share and enjoy with the woman in your life rides upon you being an “attractive” man…and your level of “attractiveness” is predominately based upon how you think, process, behave, operate, interact, relate, and conduct yourself relative to your woman.
And, IF your lady is not attracted to you, turned on by you, excited by you, or desirous of you…then that means you have not yet learned how to be “attractive” to her…and there is no better time for you to learn how to become attractive to the woman in your life than NOW!
The sooner you learn how to be attractive to your lady, the sooner you can begin enjoying the kind of relationship with her that you are wanting.
Becoming a more desirable, appealing man who possesses a more attractive mode of operation is how you get your wife to be more sexual with you!
It is time for you to learn what you need to learn so that you can start winning with your wife!
It’s time for you to learn how to get your wife to be more sexual with you!
Copyright 2014 by Calle Zorro
You may use this article on your own website AS IS…IF you include the following: “Copyright by Calle Zorro of www.MarriedAndHappy.com“