In the busyness of life, a couple inevitably finds themselves growing apart.
Sooner or later, they find themselves divided by work, responsibilities, and sundry problems of life.
Eventually, in spite of their best intentions, feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and dissatisfaction set in.
That’s when small nuisances become big irritants. Both the husband and the wife act as if the little things are no big deal – but they are.
Now, the flame of love and excitement no longer burns within the marriage.
But, there is a very simple tweak a husband and wife can make to rekindle that flame so that love and excitement once again burn bright in their marriage.
It’s a simple tweak…
It does however require that they both set aside their differences.
It requires that they both let go of grudges and grievances.
It requires them both to not only accept the uniqueness of the other but to in fact CAPITALIZE ON and LEVERAGE that uniqueness.
What’s the tweak that rekindles the flame of love and excitement within a marriage? It’s simply this:
Go on a meaningful date once a week with your spouse.
In other words, a husband and wife must purposely take time on a regular basis to be together and to do things together.
And both the husband and the wife have a particular responsibility in making sure the date satisfies their partner. Let’s start with the guys…
Husbands, before your wife was married, the most exciting moments of her life were…you guessed it…DATES!
It’s what she looked forward to. She counted the days, the hours, the minutes until that “guy” came to pick her up. It’s what she planned out all week – which outfit, which shoes, which jewelry, and so on. It’s what she talked about with her friends every day.
That anticipation of the date – that looking forward to the evening out – it was all so exciting to her.
Guys make a note of this: IT STILL IS!
Now, you husbands recall a time when you overheard some lady make the statement, “He didn’t even call me…”
Why was the woman complaining about this man not calling her? It’s because she was looking forward to meeting up with him – she was watching the clock – it was important to her – and it didn’t even mean enough to the guy for him to call and cancel. That’s why she was complaining about it.
Now, a husband can foolishly criticize his wife for her need for dates…he can foolishly criticize her for her “Cinderella” notions… Or, he can wisely embrace this unique characteristic in his wife and capitalize on it and leverage it to spice up their marriage.
So husbands, take responsibility for setting up something fun every week for you and your wife to go do – and say or do things throughout the week to help build and foster your wife’s anticipation of the date – little notes, phone calls, or comments should work quite nicely.
And one more thing for you husbands…
When you’re out on the date, and your wife is droning on and on about something that seems like “meaningless drivel” to you, JUST GO WITH IT! Don’t try to solve it. Don’t try to shut her down. Don’t try to switch over to some subject you’re more interested in. Instead, go with trying to FEEL all the feelings you can related to whatever it is that she’s talking about. Then, when you respond to her, let it be in terms of those feelings. In doing so, you’ll develop a deeper rapport with your wife that she’ll really, really enjoy and appreciate.
And you wives…
As much as you like the “Cinderella” story, remember that there was more to the story than just her becoming beautiful and her getting all the attention of being in the spot light with the Prince. At the end of the day, the Prince wasn’t interested in her just for her looks or for the money he could spend on her. Rather, the Prince had desires and needs too and had Cinderella rejected those, she would have soon enough been back at home with the evil step-family.
So, your responsibility is to make sure that things get sexual some where, some how, some time before the date is over with – whether you want that to be at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end.
And, I don’t mean just passively giving yourself to your husband so he’ll be pacified and shut up – because that’s not what he really wants. Rather, I’m talking about you – as the wife – expressing your sexuality TO, WITH, and FOR your husband – you taking a dominant, leading role in making sure things get sexual – very sexual.
As before, a wife can foolishly complain that, “All he thinks about is sex”. Or, she can wisely embrace this unique characteristic of her husband by meeting it with an expression of her own sexuality. The truth is, a husband deserves to get his needs met every bit as much as a wife deserves to get her needs met.
So there you have it…go on a real date once a week…husbands, take care of your responsibility…wives, take care of your responsibility. The result for both the husband and the wife will be something that’s so incredible, so exciting, so amazing, and so spectacular that people who know you will probably start teasing you for acting like teenagers again.
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro