There’s a serious mistake that some men make in the way they think about their wife and their marriage and this error causes them to lose out on a LOT of intimacy that they’d otherwise get to enjoy. Even worse, it eventually drives their woman to either leave the marriage or to seek out a more satisfying partner on the side.
We have a word for this mistake; it’s called entitlement and here’s just one example of how the line of thought behind this mistake goes…
“I am the husband and my job is to “work” and provide for my family. I take responsibility for our financial welfare and all money obligations. I pay a house payment so my wife can have a nice home. I pay her car payment so she can drive a nice car. I pay for many other things as well. Therefore, I am ENTITLED to her giving me whatever I want from her…especially sexually…and she is responsible for everything else. Since I work and pay the bills, I shouldn’t have to do anything else…I already carry my share of the burden and she can carry her share!”
Well, guess what, your wife has her own “work”…and it’s the work of “everything else” that you’ve saddled her with…that you’ve dumped on her with little to no regard for her…and it may be different from your work…and it may not pay as well as yours…but it’s still work…and it IS important work…
…and if you think your marriage can and should carry on successfully based on nothing more than the fact that you “work” and provide for your family financially…then you are in for a rude, rude awakening.
The fact that you provide financially for your family does NOT “qualify” you for sex.
The fact that you work a job does not excuse you from meeting your wife’s other needs – just as her doing her work does not excuse her from meeting your various needs.
And yet, this is exactly how one-sided some men’s thinking really is – they think they can do ONE thing in their marriage and EVERYTHING else their wife needs from them should just be covered by that one thing.
But, if their wife was to only do ONE thing – say only clean the house – and act like that one thing should just cover all the rest of his needs…why, these men would be “raising cane” in a hurry.
In fact, just take a look at how much unfriendliness there is in your wife towards you right now and how non-sexual she’s been towards you and you’ll have an idea of just how one-sided your thinking has been.
Of course, this is only one example of how a man can make the mistake of entitlement. There are plenty of other ways too…
What about you? In what ways are you playing the entitlement “card” in your marriage?
In what ways does your behavior demonstrate that you believe you can do only one thing and that one thing should just grandfather you in to everything else you want from your wife?
What is it that you are “shouldering” that’s giving you that feeling of entitlement that your wife should just “understand” and “give” to you?
Think about those questions as long as you need to…as long as it takes for you to realize how urgent it is that you make some changes in your attitude and behavior towards your wife.
On the flip side, women also make this entitlement mistake in their own way…and how to be the kind of man who can handle that problem is the topic of a different article.
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro