Welcome! My name is Calle Zorro and if you are interested in your wife being more affectionate and sexual with you, then you are at the right place ... and I am THE guy you need to be listening to and talking with.
Now, if knowing more about who I am is important to you ... or understanding why I am THE guy to listen to and talk with about having an affectionate, sexual wife, then click here to expand out a section where I tell you more about me. If not, then I'll get right to the part you care about...
On the flip side, there can be so many things right in a marriage (or long-term relationship) but if the sex is missing or if the sex is unfulfilling, everything else just doesn't seem to work very well ... making it even harder to enjoy those things that are right. You've probably found that to be the case too, right?
And probably, you've found that your interest and desire for sex with your wife persists through most of the ups and downs and the ins and outs of life and marriage.
At the same time, you've probably also "discovered" that this is rarely the case for your wife. Probably, you've found that the least little issue can squelch or even kill your wife's desire for sex with you ... even when it has nothing to do with you.
But, you know what? There are a FEW husbands who DO enjoy frequent intimacy and sex with their wife in spite of whatever issues crop up in life.
The thing is, the wife of these few husbands is no different than yours. Their wife has a "female mind" just like yours does. The difference is what these few husbands do to their wife's "female mind" compared to what you are doing.
Here's what this means to you: WHEN you find out how to interact with and handle your wife in such a way that you fire up her interest in and desire for sex with you, THEN you too will enjoy frequent intimacy and sex with your wife in spite of life's circumstances and issues.
Now, I'm wondering...
Are you a husband who doesn't believe this because your "read and "take" on your wife is that she just doesn't have any need or interest in sex?
Has your wife even told you literally that she just doesn't "need" sex?
Well, here's what I've got to tell you: that highly sexual girl who thought about and dreamed about sex with a man ... all the time ... when she was 18 ... whether she's ever admitted that to anyone or not ... is STILL inside your wife.
And, that girl inside your wife STILL wants a MAN that she can be sexual with ... and the reason you and I are here together right now is because I want to help YOU become that MAN that your wife WANTS to get sexual with!
Or, maybe your sexual relationship isn't quite that extreme but...
Are you in a marriage where the sex was great at the beginning of your marriage but with each passing year, your wife has become less and less affectionate and sexual with you?
Or, maybe it's this...
Do you sense that your wife IS still a sexual woman ... even though she resists or even refuses to be sexual with you?
Do you sense that your wife masturbates when you aren't around ... even though she's not interested in being with you ... or letting you be a part of her private solo-play?
Does your wife have a drawer full of vibrators ... that you suspect she uses all the time ... when you are gone ... even though she doesn't want to have sex with you?
Or, maybe you are in other common scenarios that I'm not going to describe right now because I want to tell you some things about your wife...
There are two variables you must manage in order to help your wife retain her interest in and desire for sex with you:
Both of these needs are similar in that they directly impact your wife's interest in and desire for sex. The difference is in where the need originates.
The emotional element is a series of causes and effects that originate within your wife. The psychological element is a series of causes and effects that originate with YOU.
In other words, when you are managing your wife's emotional needs, you are mostly helping her manage HERSELF so that her sexual energy is not squashed or destroyed by negative emotions.
But, when you are managing your wife's psychological needs, you are mostly managing YOURSELF so that you trigger a sexual response in your wife towards you.
you get either variable wrong
emotional or psychological ... you'll get the wrong answer ... i.e. an unhappy marriage with little to no
sex. Get either variable wrong, and you can forget about
enjoying frequent, fulfilling sex.
I'm sure that by now, you realize and understand that women are more emotionally driven than are men.
But, what does that really mean?
It means that a wife has a tendency to have wide swings ... both up and down ... sometimes very quickly ... in what she FEELS and EXPERIENCES ... depending upon what happens to be "crossing her path" at both an external and internal level at any given moment.
At it's extreme, a wife can experience joy, sorrow, fear, hate, depression, excitement, love, happiness, or any number of other emotions in a very short period of time.
And, we all know that the tendency for us humans is to focus on and pay attention to NEGATIVE emotions much more frequently and strongly than we do POSITIVE emotions.
Here's the problem with that ... by definition, an emotion is a "strong feeling". As such, an emotion will have a PHYSIOLOGICAL IMPACT on any human being – male or female.
But, as it pertains to your wife, the typical "physiological impact" of negative emotions is to dampen or shut down her interest in and desire for sex.
And that my fellow husband, is NOT what you want.
Let me give you an all too common example...
A wife cannot and will not be attracted to or sexual with a husband who goes to work, comes home, plops down on the couch with a beer in one hand, a remote in the other and glues himself to the TV ... all while ignoring her and the children ... and he does this day after day.
The same is true if a husband uses all his free time to run off and "play" with his friends ... or his hobby.
A husband such as these can want sex till his last day on this earth and he’s not going to get it ... or if he does, it’ll be a lousy, degrading, unfulfilling experience.
Such a husband will have a non-existant sex-life because he has NOT helped his wife manage her emotions ... and HE HAS TRIGGERED negative emotions in her. And again, her physiological response is to lose her interest in and desire for sex...WITH HIM. (In other words, she will still want sex but just not with her husband.)
Now, this raises some key questions that are probably already going through your mind:
Probably, you've already discovered that when it comes to questions like these, it's nearly impossible to get a meaningful answer from your wife. And yet, it's impossible to have an enjoyable and fulfilling marriage until you do get the answers.
And that raises a HUGE point ... I'm going to help you right now...
Have you ever got frustrated at your wife's "unhappiness" with you and exclaimed to her, "Just tell me what you want ... just tell me what you want me to so that you can be happy ... and I'll do it!"
Well, probably you have because most husband's have ... and by saying that, you GENERATED within your wife negative feelings along the lines of: "Now I REALLY feel bad about you and our marriage because if you don't know how to take me to that happy, positive, sexual place that I want to share with a MAN ... if you need me to tell you how to take US there, then you are not MAN enough for me ... and NOW, I'm REALLY NOT INTERESTED in sharing my affection and sexuality with you! In fact, you cause me to realize that I REALLY need to be with another man because OBVIOUSLY, you don't get it ... and based on what I've seen in you thus far, you are NEVER going to get it."
Yes, you had a positive intention behind your question. Yes, you meant well. Yes, you really wanted to make things better between you and your wife. But, because you don't understand how your wife's "female mind" works, YOU turned off her affection and sexual desire for you.
Even worse, you've done this hundreds of times in hundreds of different little ways and the result is that your wife's interest and desire for sex with you keeps on diminishing.
Just go back in your memory to all the times your wife went into a "dark, distant mood" ... and you didn't know why ... and she wouldn't tell you why ... and you'll have an idea of how much and how often you are affecting your wife negatively without even knowing it.
There are so many "secrets" like this that I could tell you about ... that you definitely need to know about ... but we've got to get to the second part...
Once you are meeting your wife’s emotional needs (and based on how she's wired that has to come first), then the other variable comes into play ... meeting her psychological needs.
As was stated previously, this mostly has to do with YOU! The kind of husband that you are, the way you think, and how you carry yourself all affect your wife's mind in terms of her mental states and thinking processes.
In other words, your level of MASCULINITY functions to either increase or decrease your woman's awareness of, interest in, and motivation towards sex with you. Think of it like this ... your level of MALENESS fires up or shuts down those sexual parts of her brain and body. That's why this is a psychological need.
Consider what happens in far too many marriages: a guy and a girl are attracted to each other. They get married and she goes to work “domesticating” him. He "let’s" her do it ... because he wants to be a good husband ... except now,
You must fully realize that it’s impossible for your wife to be attracted to or sexual with you if you are this kind of man.
Here's another way to look at this ... your wife cannot be attracted to you if you allow her to bridle and harness you to the wagon of her whims, wishes, fits, tantrums, or orders.
The sad truth is that if you are not purposely and purposefully managing your wife's psychological needs then she:
Now, once you are actively managing your wife's emotional AND psychological needs, that is when your marriage will become truly exciting.
As you become better and better at meeting your wife's emotional and psychological needs, YOU create a foundation upon which a beautiful, amazing, wonderful marriage can blossom and bloom.
As you go through the growing process of becoming MORE of a MAN, you teach both yourself and your wife to:
Of course, a blooming, blossoming, wonderful marriage is not all up to just you. Your wife is most definitely an equally key player in your marriage. However, experience has proven that your wife is best able to "play" her part and make her improvements AFTER you take a leadership role in the marriage relationship.
When you take the lead in becoming the MAN for your wife, it CLEARS the way for her to become your affectionate, sexual wife.
My fellow husband, that's how it works ... the sooner you decide to understand how your wife's "female mind" works ... and the sooner you start leading and managing your wife emotionally and psychologically the sooner you will get to enjoy the kind of marriage you want.
Now, if anything I've said here resonates with you, then here is my first recommendation to you ... click the link in the following box because you should know about this:
Here's my second recommendation...
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Dedicated to helping you create a happier, more sexual marriage,
PS: Husband, do you remember how
wonderful it was when your wife was excited about you? Do you
remember how satisfying it was when your wife was interested in
you ... when she was attracted to you ... when she desired you ... when
she wanted a MAN ... and YOU were THAT man?
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