Over and over men ask me how they can get their wife to understand that they need more affection, intimacy, and sex from her. In the mind of these men, they seem to think that IF they can just get their wife to “understand” what they need from her, THEN she will readily give them what they want.
But here is the reality: any and every married woman ALREADY understands clearly what her husband wants. So, if she is not already giving him what he wants, then it is because she does not want to give him what he wants.
And, if a wife does not want to give her husband what he wants, then that is because she does not FEEL the respect, appreciation, admiration, attraction, or desire towards him that she must be able to FEEL in order to be able to give him what he wants.
In other words, if a wife is not already giving her husband what he wants from her, then that means she FEELS some degree of repulsion in herself towards him…and that repulsion…however strong it is…creates a corresponding degree of shut-down and turn-off in her towards her husband affectionately, intimately, and sexually.
And in response to that repulsion, a wife uses a variety of techniques and strategies to AVOID giving her husband what he wants from her…including the strategy of PRETENDING and ACTING as if she does not understand or recognize what he wants from her.
(On a related note, see this article: My Wife And I Will Have Great Sex And Then She Is Back To No Sex For A Long Time. Why?)
Now that we have the preface out of the way, let’s show YOU how to fix things in your marriage so that you are no longer one of those married guys who is complaining that you need more affection, intimacy, and sex.
The REASON a wife shuts down…turns off…and withdraws…from her husband affectionately, intimately, and sexually…is because of WHO and WHAT he is and HOW he operates and interacts with her.
In other words, the REASON a wife begins to use her mind progressively more negatively, darkly, and wrongly towards her husband…is because of WHO and WHAT he is and HOW he operates and interacts with her.
So, even if you did “get” your wife to “understand” that you need more affection, intimacy, and sex from her…you STILL will NOT have fixed the REAL problem…your relationship with your wife will NOT get any better…because YOU will STILL be creating the SAME response in your wife towards you that she has been having towards you for a long while.
Point blank, getting your wife to understand that you need more affection, intimacy, and sex from her is NOT fix or improve your sex-life.
There is ONLY ONE solution I have ever found that will fix the real problem…that will get you out of the miserable club of married guys who need more affection, intimacy, and sex from their wife…that will enable YOU to create the happy, affectionate, intimate, and sexual marriage relationship with your wife that you are wanting with her…and that solution is composed of two requirements:
- Become the most attractively operating man your wife knows. That is, become the most attractive, appealing, desirable, and sexy man your wife knows in terms of how you think, represent, process, interact, relate, conduct, carry, and operate relative to her and others.
- Become a man who understands how to positively and effectively lead, manage, guide, and handle your wife mentally and emotionally for good results, effects, and outcomes. That is, you have to UNDERSTAND how to do these things (lead, manage, etc.) such that you can actually DO them day in and day out…and thereby GET good results with your wife day in and day out.
And, WHEN you ARE these two things…you will no longer have the problem of your wife avoiding, resisting, or rejecting affection, intimacy, or sex with you.
WHEN you ARE these two things, your wife…if she fits anywhere within the bell-curve of a normal woman…will be the amorous, passionate, and adventurous woman towards you that you are wanting her to be affectionately, intimately, and sexually.
WHEN you ARE these two things…you will no longer be one of those married guys who need more affection, intimacy, and sex.
So bottom line…what this means is that the sooner you BECOME these two things, the sooner your relationship with your wife can be what you want it to be.
Now, consider this truth…
Assuming your wife fits anywhere within the bell-curve of normal, she IS already a woman who WANTS to be in a highly affectionate, intimate, passionate, amorous, adventurous, and sexual relationship with a man.
In fact, that is what she has been dreaming of and fantasizing about since she was around 13 years old (or even younger).
And, the ONLY thing she needs is for YOU to become the MAN who can TAKE her into all of that closeness, passion, and sex.
How do YOU become that MAN?
Well again, you (1) develop yourself into the most attractively-operating man your wife knows (which is not as hard as it might sound given the low level that most men operate at), and (2) you develop your ability to lead, manage, guide, and handle your wife mentally and emotionally.
Amazingly, even when some men find out that developing their self in these two ways WILL give them the marriage relationship results with their wife that they are wanting…they STILL CHOOSE to not develop their self in these two ways.
Instead, they continue watching their porn. They continue wishing they had an affectionate, intimate, and sexual wife. They continue searching elsewhere for some magical solution that requires no effort or change on their part…but that will “fix” their wife and magically transform her into the nymphomaniac they want her to be towards them.
And the result of THEIR OWN mindset, non-action, laziness, and resistance towards personal development is that their marriage relationship with their wife continues to become even less-pleasant and more-dissatisfying as time goes forward.
The result is that they get to need more affection, intimacy, and sex…even more than they did before!
In short, these men keep spiraling downward in their marriage relationship even AFTER they have been presented with the EXACT solution required to fix it and to transform it into everything they are wanting…and have always wanted…it to be.
On the other hand, there are some men who have the mindset that says “Take action!” the moment they are presented with a promising solution. These are the men who get my program as soon as they find out about it. These are the men who immediately go to work studying, absorbing, and implementing my materials. And, the result is that they are soon enough living in a highly-enjoyable, highly-satisfying, highly-amorous, highly-sexual relationship with their wife.
That brings us to this question: Which kind of man are YOU going to be?
Now, there is one more thing you better understand relative to what we are talking about here…
As I alluded to a few moments ago…the typical husband just wants some silver-bullet article…or magical technique…with which he can just convince his wife to be more sexual…with which he can “flip” his wife into wanting to be sexual…and he thinks that IF he could just find that one article or technique, THEN his sex life would be fixed and everything would be great for him.
But, what such a husband does not realize is that it is a good thing his wife is squashing her sexuality…because if she was not squashing her sexuality, then she would ALREADY be cheating on him…or she would have ALREADY divorced him and moved on in search of a man who satisfies the two requirements defined previously.
The point here is that IF a husband remains AS HE IS in his relationally-undeveloped state…then the WORST thing he can do is “get” his wife to access her sexual desires and passions.
IF a husband remains the unattractively-operating guy who does NOT know how to lead or manage his wife…and he happens to find a way to convince his wife to access her passion and sexuality…then what will most likely happen is his wife will either go find herself a lover on the side…or she will leave him and go find herself another man…who she feels attraction and desire for.
In other words, it is the husband’s lack of appeal, desirability, and attractiveness that CAUSES a wife to shut down sexually towards him.
And, to fire up his wife’s sexuality…while he remains as he is…is NOT going to make him any more appealing, desirable, or attractive.
To fire up his wife’s sexuality is NOT going to magically cause her to want to be sexual with him.
The ONLY thing that firing up her sexuality would do is CAUSE her to start looking for another man elsewhere who IS appealing, desirable, and attractive to her.
And in fact, what I have just described is precisely what happens to some husbands…they push and push their wife to access her sexuality…until she finally does…and when she does…she soon enough cheats or leaves.
So again, there is ONLY ONE solution that I have ever found in the 25+ years that I have been helping men create the kind of marriage they want to have and to enjoy with their wife…and that solution is to (1) develop yourself into the most attractively-operating man your wife knows, and (2) develop your understanding of how to lead, manage, guide, and handle your wife mentally and emotionally.
This is precisely HOW you get yourself OUT of that miserable club of married guys who need more affection, intimacy, and sex from their wife.
One last thing for you to think about…
As the old saying goes, “You don’t have to be great to get started. But, you do have to get started if you are ever going to be great.”
This most definitely applies to YOUR marriage relationship. IF you are going to have a great marriage, then YOU are going to have to get started CREATING that.
The issues and challenges in your marriage relationship are NOT going to go away on their own. They are NOT going to get better with time. Actually, they are going to continue worsening.
And, the longer you wait, the longer it will take…and the harder it will be…for you to create the outcomes that you are wanting with your wife.
The point is, there will NEVER be a better time for you to get started creating the kind of marriage that you want than right now.
So, are you going to be a married guy who won’t do anything more than occasionally try to get your wife to “understand” that you need more affection, intimacy, and sex from her…and thereby suffer in a not-very-sexual relationship with her? Or, are you going to develop yourself into the kind of man who possesses the presence and skills to turn your wife on towards you…so much so that she frequently and regularly wants to consummate the desire she feels for you with physical, passionate sex?
You are a smart guy. You will make the right choice!
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro