Befriend the typical husband long enough for him to get comfortable with you and he will soon enough start talking about things he is unhappy about in his wife.
She doesn’t want sex often enough.
She doesn’t take very good care of herself.
She’s always too tired.
She does things on purpose just to irritate him.
She’s always so negative.
She’s not happy with anything he gives her or does for her.
She spoils the kids rotten, smothers them with love and affection…and won’t give two seconds worth of attention to him.
She can talk on the phone with her mom or girlfriend for HOURS…laughing and chattering away…but he can’t get her to have a civil, positive conversation with him if his life depended upon it.
She has time for everybody and everything…except him.
But, few husbands ever pause long enough in their complaining to consider what their wife is saying about them to her friends.
And, since it might help you recognize what you can do to turn things around in your marriage, I’ll tell you what wives say to each other when they are talking amongst themselves about their husbands and their marriage…their conversation goes something like this:
Jane: My husband is so UN-interesting…and my marriage is SOOOOO DULL!
Sue: I understand…although in my marriage it’s even worse, I feel so alone…about the only thing that I can imagine being worse than my marriage is actually being completely alone…but I guess I shouldn’t complain too much…at least he has a job and he does give me a break from the kids once in a while.
Nancy: Well, for me, I feel like I’ve been cheated…sort of like I cheated myself…I wanted a special man that I could share romance and passion with…but what I’ve actually done is settle for sharing my life with a guy who I have no attraction for but who helps me “survive” life with money, chores, and kids.
Martha: My husband and I, we never do anything together. We never go anywhere together. We hardly even see each other. All we do is “work”. But, at least with his income, I only have to work 40 hours a week instead of 80 hours a week like the single mom I know down the street…so I guess it doesn’t matter too much if I’m not attracted to him.
Cindy: My husband, he’s a nice guy I guess…but we have such a boring and uninspiring relationship. It’s so bad that it’s less painful for me to avoid him and read a book or watch TV than it is to set through one of his tedious, “heavy” conversations.
Jennifer: My husband is a decent guy as far as that goes…he hauls the trash out…he takes the kids out so I can get a break…he does the maintenance around the house…he takes care of our cars…but I DEFINITELY DO NOT feel that “spark” for him…and I must admit, that leaves me longing for a different man.
Lisa: I know what you mean…oh what I would give for a husband who I could feel the heat of passion with!
Kelly: Yea…I asked my husband the other night to massage my back while we were sitting on the couch…his eyes never left the TV for even a second…his arm swung around like a robots arm…he rubbed my back for about 30 seconds…and then his arm swung back around again…and I guess that was supposed to have been my “massage”…it was all I could do to keep from screaming at him and clawing his eyes out…just to see if even that would get a reaction out of him.
Heidi: Oh that’s not as bad as my husband…I can reliably count on my husband walking up to me at bedtime…after having ignored me the entire evening…start rubbing on my back…and he always says the same thing, “Hey Babe! What do you say…let’s have a little fun?” Just thinking about his touch makes my skin start crawling…and if I hear his “Hey Babe!” thing one more time, I AM going to lose it.
Michelle: Me too…I’m soooo tired of having sex with a man that I don’t want to have sex with…especially after we’ve argued about the kids or money or relatives all evening.
Laura: Well, at least you ladies have a husband who is a good father. Not only is my husband NOT a good husband…he’s not even a good father. He doesn’t care about anyone or anything except himself. He’s a workaholic with no time for me or the kids. The only thing he has time for are his hobbies and interests.
Tina: Well, one thing we can all agree on is that it sure would be wonderful, wonderful to be married to a romantic, dazzling MAN…one that we could enjoy thinking naughty thoughts about during the day…and that we could have fun with at night…who was also a good friend, a good father, and a good partner.
Husband, here’s the message to you:
Learn what your wife’s needs are. Learn how to think, behave, and operate in a way that is attractive, appealing, and desirable to your wife. Learn how to turn her on. Learn how to do the right things in the right way…so that when she talks with her friends, she is the envy of the group…so that all her friends WISH they had a husband like you.
Your wife’s bitter complaining about you to her friends is REALLY her plea and cry for YOU to become the kind of MAN who takes you and her into a happy, positive, and sexual relationship.
Copyright 2010 by Calle Zorro
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