In relation to their wife, married men generally fall into one of three groups. Two of these groups predictably encounter marriage relationship failure…two of them inevitably experience a loss in affection and intimacy. Only one group of husbands enjoys an ongoing marriage relationship that’s filled with happiness, affection, and intimacy.
In the first group are the husbands who are good at being nice to their wife…they are good at having conversations with her…they are good at being considerate of her…they are good at paying attention to her…and in general, they are good at meeting her “female companionship needs”. But, there are two problems. First, they don’t meet the deeper “primal female needs” that she has. Even worse is the second problem; they lack that strength and masculinity (in relation to their wife) that she wants and needs in order to be attracted to them.
Husbands who fall in this group generally experience a significant drop-off in affection and intimacy from their wife within just a couple of years of marriage or less. Generally, by the time 4 – 8 years of marriage rolls around, the marriage is in serious jeopardy as the wife has pretty much disengaged completely from her husband. Often, the wife of this kind of husband has cheated on her husband…sometimes just emotionally…sometimes physically. And all the while, the husband is trying even harder to be “nice” to his wife in an effort to get her to once again be attracted to him.
In the second group, are the husbands who have got the strength and masculinity part down…they are attractive to their wife because of their manliness…but they do a lousy job of meeting any of her needs. They often don’t even meet her basic “female companionship needs” let alone her “primal female needs”.
Husbands who are in this group generally tend to have a “decent” marriage for a longer period of time. Usually, the marriage does ok for 8 – 15 years because the husband IS an attractive, manly man. But, at the same time, the wife is steadily building up resentment, bitterness, and anger towards her husband because he does not meet her female needs. Generally, the wife eventually “blows up” and establishes some kind of distance and separation from her husband. She may move to another bedroom…she may move out to stay with someone else…or she may file for divorce…all because she cannot take having unmet needs anymore.
Interestingly, once the wife of a husband in the second group has her “blow up”, the response of her husband is often to jump squarely over into the first group of men. He lays down all his attractive masculinity and he really starts working on being a “nice companion” to his wife…and now, his wife is completely turned off by him…both by his response and his loss of masculine attractiveness.
In the third group of men are those husbands who understand what their wife’s needs are at all levels and they meet those needs on purpose — which keeps their wife happy. AND, they have a “JUST RIGHT” level of strength and masculinity — which keeps their wife attracted to them.
The men in this third group enjoy a marriage relationship where their wife ENJOYS sharing her affection and intimacy with her husband year after year after year of their marriage. They have a strong, wonderful marriage that works and that keeps on working.
And, if you are a man who is in the first or second group, then it is WELL WORTH the cost and effort right now of putting yourself securely into the third group so that for the rest of your life you can enjoy a happy, affectionate, intimate marriage relationship with your wife. Your own wisdom tells you that any investment and effort you expend now will absolutely be far less than the cost and pain of separation and/or divorce.
Copyright 2010 by Calle Zorro