Are you a husband whose wife has told you something along the lines of, “I am not interested in sex” or “I do not need sex” or “I don’t think about sex” … but you frequently see her reading erotic romance novels or watching steamy shows or movies?
Married men regularly ask me questions like this one:
Calle, my wife reads a lot of romance novels. And, they are not the straight-laced “Hallmark” novels. They are the steamy, erotic, female-porn type novels. And, it makes my blood boil every time I see her reading this stuff…especially when she tells me that “she is not interested in sex.”
So, what is up with a wife who says she is not interested in sex…but she frequently reads books or watches shows that are filled with sexual content?
Well, here is what you need to understand…
Every normal woman is VERY interested in sex!
However, the normal woman is not interested in sex with just any old guy.
Rather, the normal woman is ONLY interested in sex with a developed man who possesses the presence and skills to attract her and turn her on.
And specifically, the normal woman is NOT interested in sex with a guy…who relative to her…is weak, needy, insecure, dependent, relationally-ignorant, and/or operationally-repulsive.
So, IF your wife says she is not interested in sex…but she frequently reads erotic romance novels or watches steamy shows…then you need to understand that your wife DOES want sex…but just not with YOU.
In other words, there is enough insecurity, weakness, neediness, dependency, relational-ignorance, and/or operational-repulsiveness in YOU…relative to your wife…that she is not interested in sex with YOU.
In still other words, something about YOU has CAUSED your wife to become unwilling to be sexual with you…and that is why she tells you, “I am not interested in sex.”
But, just because your wife does not want sex with YOU does not mean that she is not interested in sex at all…or that she does not want sex with anyone…and all of her romance novels and/or steamy shows is proof of that.
Let’s go deeper…
What a woman wants more than anything else in this world is a developed MAN who has the presence and the skills to take her into a happy, loving, affectionate, intimate, sexual, fun, exciting, and satisfying relationship.
And, when a woman does not have a developed man who possesses the presence and skills to take her into this kind of relationship…then she will say she is “not interested in sex”…and she will turn to other things to appease, allay, and relieve the pressure that comes from her unmet need for sexual intimacy with a man.
Some women will redirect intensely to their children. Some women will redirect into their job, business, hobby, or social network. Some women will redirect into books and movies. Some women will go find their self a lover on the side. Some women will just divorce their husband.
If you are lucky, your wife has only turned to romance novels or steamy shows instead of to another man.
Here is the next thing…
If YOUR wife says she is not interested in sex…and yet, she obviously gives time, interest, and attention to sexually oriented books or shows…then you are likely feeling a strong (if not irresistible) urge to confront your wife over the discrepancy.
But, here is what you need to know: you should NOT confront your wife over her books or shows at this time.
Confronting your wife over her books or shows would be akin to confronting a starving person for eating food.
All your confronting will do is cause your wife to hide her reading or watching from you…or even worse, cause her to reject you even more…and go find another way to satisfy her needs…such as finding herself another man.
To be plain, you do not yet have enough attractiveness in your wife’s eyes…you do not yet have enough to offer her in who and what you are…and therefore, to confront her is only going to work AGAINST you.
Now, here is the good news…your wife would rather be with YOU!
But, she FIRST needs YOU to develop within yourself the presence and the skills that make YOU more attractive, appealing, desirable, and sexy to her.
In other words, your wife never “dreamed” of being married to erotic romance novels or steamy shows. What she dreamed of was being with a MAN who could take her into the kind of relationship I defined above…and that she is reading about in her novels…or watching in her shows.
Now, here is something else for you to realize…
When you are the most attractive, appealing, desirable, sexy man that your wife knows…her reading erotic romance novels or watching steamy shows is a good thing that will actually work to YOUR BENEFIT…that will actually do a lot of “seducing” for you…such that she will come looking for you to satisfy physically what the books or shows have stimulated in her mentally.
Having said the preceding, here is what will most likely happen…
Once you reach a certain level of development, presence, and skills…you will most likely find that your wife has far less interest in romance novels or steamy shows compared to what she currently has…and that the time she spends reading novels or watching shows will drop way, way off…if not completely end.
After all, there is a part of your wife that is embarrassed about “needing” the books or shows that she has TURNED to in order to get her needs met. In other words, your wife would feel much better about getting her needs met with you…and by you.
But, your wife FIRST NEEDS YOU to become a man with the presence and relationship skills that she needs you to possess in order for her to be affectionately, intimately, and sexually turned on by you.
And, until you become this kind of many, you are just going to keep on hearing:
“My wife is not interested in sex (all while she continues to read her erotic romance novels or watch her steamy shows).”
Or even worse…there is a very real danger that your wife will just give up on you ever becoming the kind of man who can turn her on towards you…and she will decide that she better go find herself another man.
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro