There are those few, rare men…REAL MEN…who are developed, attractive, manly men…and there are the masses of undeveloped, unattractive, non-manly males…immature boys in an adult male body. Granted, many of these undeveloped males are well-meaning, good-intentioned, nice guys who are doing the best that they know how to do…who are doing what they have been shown and taught to do. Unfortunately, life does not excuse a person from the consequences of their ignorance.
Similarly, there are those few, rare women…REAL WOMEN…who are developed, attractive, womanly women…and there are the masses of undeveloped, unattractive, unwomanly females…spoiled, bratty, selfish girls in an adult female body. Granted, many of these undeveloped females are operating the way they do because their way of operating is the only way they have ever seen or known. The problem is, if a person lacks training, guidance, and awareness, then they simply do not recognize how unattractive and unappealing they really are. Even worse, such a person does not recognize how they are blocking their own self from the good they desire.
Now, in most of my writings, I am speaking to the masses of undeveloped guys…trying to wake them up and encourage them to develop their self into that rare group of developed, attractive men…so that they, their wives, and their families can enjoy the good life. But today, I am going to speak to the masses of undeveloped females.
And most likely, all the undeveloped guys who are angry at women…and who resent them…are really going to enjoy this article…and all the undeveloped females are really going to be angry at me for exposing them for what they really are. Bottom line, things are about to get real…the truth is about to be told…
So many wives are unhappily asking, “Why is good, healthy, satisfying love so hard to find?”
I will tell you exactly why: it is because these wives have a double standard…one for their own self…and one for their husband. They have a level of performance and contribution that they expect and demand from their husband…or else…while they themselves often REFUSE to perform or contribute at anywhere near the same level they demand and expect of their husband. These women expect their husband to just accept them in whatever non-performing, non-contributing mood they happen to be in at the moment.
Perhaps I should say it this way, these wives would not stay married for even a single day to a husband who thought, acted, behaved, operated, or interacted in the way they do as a wife. As a result, these wives are a MAJOR CONTRIBUTOR to the reason good, healthy, satisfying love is so hard to find!
Stated differently, by the nature of how they think, behave, operate, and interact, these wives BLOCK themselves from having the kind of relationship they want and have always dreamed of having!
On one hand, an undeveloped wife wants her husband to respect and value what SHE says…but on the other hand, she doesn’t want to respect and value what HE says. Guess what the results is? That’s right, a not-very-happy relationship.
When an undeveloped wife speaks to her husband, she typically does so to prompt and effect change in him. Of course, one has to wonder just how she came about crowning herself the “Queen Bee” who thinks it is her place to demand change in whatever things about her husband she does not happen to like.
And for sure, FORGET about her receiving ANY request for change from her husband. If he doesn’t like her JUST AS SHE IS, well then, he should not have married her…is the mindset that she operates from.
But, as a matter of comparison, when you find a developed woman who IS happy in her marriage relationship, you will find a woman who compliments, encourages, up-lifts, and inspires her husband to be the best and most that he can be. In contrast, the undeveloped wife is constantly trying to change her husband into someone who happens to suit her fickle fancy or her latest self-interested agenda.
Related to the preceding, here are another couple of lines undeveloped females will often say that exposes their double standard: “I want the space to be myself” and “Don’t judge me“. Basically, what these lines (and all their variants) really mean is, “I want to be whatever/however I want to be…no matter how negative, unpleasant, unattractive, or ridiculous I may actually be…and your job husband is to just accept me as I am.”
Incredibly, the contrasting notion of just letting her husband be who he is…and just accepting him as he is…without negatively judging him…well, that notion has simply never, ever even crossed her mind…and if someone was to suggest this notion to her, she would outright reject and refuse it…because she’s not interested in the equal standard of letting each person be their own self and accepting and appreciating the same.
Here’s another one undeveloped females will say: “Sex begins with emotional intimacy…” Well guess what dear sweet thing, it is also JUST AS TRUE that emotional intimacy begins with sex. You should try it sometime.
Oh wait…I forgot…according to your “standard”, the man is the one who is supposed to always go out of his way to “bring you around”…he is the one who is supposed to bend over backwards to bring you up out of your disconnected negative little funk…and to somehow magically pacify you into connecting positively and emotionally with him, isn’t he?
Well…here is a clue for you sweetie…perhaps your life would be a lot happier if you got out of the frame of mind that it is always the man’s job to coddle and pacify you into being emotionally intimate…and just decide and choose to be emotionally positive, warm, and intimate most of the time. After all, that’s what developed women who are happy in their marriage relationship do.
Let me say that differently…perhaps your life would be a lot happier if you would stop using your mind in such a negative, unattractive way…MOST OF THE TIME…and started using it in a positive, attractive way…MOST OF THE TIME…so that it would be a lot easier for your husband to connect with you and join you on a good level!
There are plenty more…how about this popular line from undeveloped females: “Desire me for more than my body…” Well, that’s understandable…and that is certainly appropriate. In fact, you should try it sometime yourself…you should try desiring your husband for more than just whatever it is that you want from him on a provision or security level.
Incidentally, just as a point of comparison, developed women who enjoy a happy marriage relationship strongly WANT their husband to desire their body sexually…and the result is that their husband desires and appreciates them for far more than just their body.
Let’s go a bit deeper on this “favorite” saying of undeveloped females, “I want to be appreciated and valued for more than just my body!” Well, guess what honey, men want the same thing…unfortunately, it is all too common that they cannot find anything in your manipulative, deceptive, self-centered, insecure, negative, uncooperative, obstinate, stubborn, and undeveloped way of thinking, behaving, operating, and interacting to appreciate or value…and so you should count yourself fortunate that they were able to work themselves up into appreciating and valuing your body…because otherwise, you would have come up as a BIG, FAT ZERO!
Of course, I can hear your self-righteous, indignant protests…”But look at all I do as a woman…I do X…and Y…and Z…blah, blah, blah…” Honey, the absolute truth is that you do not do ANYTHING except what your self-centered, self-interested motives drive you to do.
You are NOT doing whatever you do for your husband…you are NOT even doing it for your kids…although that is what you tell yourself and everyone else. The absolute truth is that EVERYTHING you do is about what YOU WANT to do…EVERYTHING you do is about some satisfaction that YOU want…EVERYTHING you do is all about yourself…and you don’t really care about what your husband or kids want.
IF YOU DID, YOU WOULD LISTEN TO THEM AND GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT…instead of rejecting what they want…and pushing what YOU want onto them!
Your husband has most likely reached the point that he is afraid to ask for anything from you…and your kids know better than to openly express themselves and their interests or opinions around you…because they KNOW you will go off on them…they KNOW that YOUR wants, interests, and desires are all that matter to you…and that you do not really care about them or their wants, interests, or desires. So yes…as an undeveloped woman, there is NOTHING or NO ONE more selfish and self-centered than you.
Sure, all undeveloped females can give a “Magnus Opus” on how much they do and give…but as I am pointing out, dig into your doing and giving and you will find that it is all about what you WANT to do and give…and little to nothing of what you do and give is related to what your husband wants you to do or give…or that your children want you to do or give.
So, just let go already of your tired old speeches about how much you do and give. You aren’t fooling anybody. Your self-centeredness shines through bright and clear. You are not doing anything more than you WANT to do…you are NOT giving anything more than what suits you to give.
I know…I can hear more of your self-righteous, indignant protests, “But what about the times I put on lingerie for my husband even though I wasn’t really interested in sex myself?”
Careful there…you are telling on yourself…IF you stepped up and gave your husband something you did not want to give him…then the ONLY reason you did that was because there was SOMETHING or some FEELING that you WANTED from him…and so in reality, you were being manipulative…you were interacting with an ulterior motive…you were doing the very same thing that you condemn and criticize him for doing.
Oh…yes…here is a big one: “Don’t count, track, or measure our sexual encounters…don’t keep a tally or a calendar of how often you get what you want from me…or that will turn me off…send me into a negative funk…and I will spitefully stop giving you what you want for as long as I can hold out.”
In reality, what this one is all about is MOST undeveloped females do not want to face up to how messed up they really are (in their multitude of negative funks)…or just how little they support and bless their husband…and just how little they perform and contribute to the well-being of their marriage.
But, let a husband fall short for one moment in any of the MANY ways his wife is counting, tracking, monitoring, measuring, and evaluating him on all the things she wants and expects from him…and she will in no uncertain terms, throw a negative, hateful, spiteful, bratty little hissy-fit…that is designed to get her husband back in line doing and giving everything that she wants and expects of him.
Here’s a big one that women REALLY like to preach: “Sex should not be an expected act. Rather, it should be allowed to develop naturally.”
Is that right? Well, if that is the case, then provision, security, and the other things you want from your husband should not be expected from him…and they should be allowed to develop “naturally”.
Just as you think your husband should not want or expect affection, intimacy, or sex unless you are in the mood to give those things out…you should not expect your husband to provide substance, security, and everything else you want from him unless he is in the mood to give you those things, right?
Maybe he would rather go hunting or fishing instead of going to work. Maybe he would rather go to the drag races instead of giving his life and soul to a company that does not appreciate him…and then come home to an undeveloped female who does not appreciate him either. Have you ever thought about that?
By the way, here is a clue for undeveloped females: NOTHING GOOD in a relationship develops “naturally”. Never. Ever. When goodness, enjoyment, excitement, pleasure, satisfaction, meaning, fulfillment, and love pervade a relationship, it is because TWO people are purposely, consciously putting the effort and work into creating and maintaining that kind of relationship.
Women especially like this one: “Women need consistent, loving behavior from their husband.”
But of course, in their double-standard view of the world, their husband should not need anything that is consistent or loving from them, right?
And for sure, he should NOT need consistent affection, intimacy, and sex…because if he wanted or expected that, then he would be “a monster, a beast, an over-sexed pig, a sex-addict” or whatever your favorite condemning label is, right?
If the undeveloped female wants to get offended at her husband…and CHOOSE to stay offended at him for a month…or even longer…well, he should just be happy with that…and hang around waiting for her to come up out of her negative funk, right?
Well, guess what honey? It’s a good thing you are with an undeveloped guy because a developed man would not put up with your nonsense and negative idiocy.
Actually, let’s go deeper into the issue of “being offended”. Where did the presumption come from that it is okay and acceptable for the undeveloped female to FREQUENTLY be hurt, offended, angry, spiteful, or withholding…but her husband is supposed to be impervious to hurts or offenses…and he is NEVER supposed to get angry or be spiteful or withholding?
Joke-books and folklore are filled with stories that essentially perpetuate this notion. Jokes like this one: “Years ago, a young guy and gal got married. On their first day of marriage, the new wife told her husband that she wanted everything between them to be completely open, shared, and transparent…except for a small box of hers…that was off-limits to the husband…and she wanted her husband to promise that he would never look in the box. The husband granted her the promise and never really thought anymore about it. Well, decades later, the wife came down sick, and it soon became apparent that she was going to pass away. As the husband began making preparations for the inevitable, he stumbled upon the box his wife had proclaimed as off-limits. So, the husband takes the box to the hospital and asks his wife what she wants him to do with the box. His wife then told him, “You can open the box now”. So, the husband opens the box and finds 2 crocheted doilies and almost $100,000 in cash. The husband then asked his wife what these things were all about. To which, the wife replied, “Well, my Grandmother told me before I got married to you that every time I got mad at you, I should crochet a doily. So, that is what I did.” The husband was amazed…and started choking up with tears…as he thought about the idea that his wife was such a great woman that she had only gotten mad at him twice in their entire marriage. But then, the husband asked about the $100,000…to which his wife replied, “Oh…that is all the money I made selling doilies over the years!”
So, we all get the jokes like this one…and we all laugh when we hear them…but there is an embedded message that is just another manifestation of the double-standard that women hold to. That is, it is okay, natural, normal, and acceptable for females to get upset, angry, offended, etc. at their husband…and that husbands are callous, insensitive, uncaring Neanderthals who ineptly hurt and offend their wife with nearly ever interaction. But, what nobody ever acknowledges…and, given her small, self-centered focus, what never even crosses the mind of the undeveloped female…is how hurtful, offensive, belittling, critical, and demeaning she is towards her husband…but he is supposed to just be unaffected by anything his wife does…no matter how bad or hurtful it is.
Well guess what undeveloped female? You ARE hurtful, offensive, critical, belittling, and demeaning FAR MORE than your husband is. You are FAR MORE of an uncaring, insensitive Neanderthal than your husband EVER could be…all because of the double-standard mindset that you hold and operate according to.
Next, the line of thought I guess I find most incredible of all is the one where the undeveloped female thinks, “I want my husband to be faithful, monogamous, and loyal to me” while she does and gives her husband the absolute minimum required to keep him faithful, monogamous, or loyal…and honestly, she often does not even give that much.
More specifically, she does not want to do for…or give to…her husband those things that he wants…and incredibly, she does not want anyone else to do or give those things to him either. She just wants to hold him down…and hold him under…in a miserable, dissatisfying, unfulfilled relationship. She wants happiness…but she doesn’t want to give out any happiness…and she doesn’t want anyone else giving out happiness either…especially to her husband!
Huh? What kind of logic or standard is that? You don’t want to be a real wife…and you don’t want anyone else being a woman with your husband?
Are you really so screwed up in the head that you just expect your husband to be happy doing without all the things that he wants…while you sit there fully demanding and expecting him to give you everything that you want?
Are you really so screwed up in the head that your husband should be happy with nobody…neither you nor anyone else…giving him the things that he wants…while at the same time, it is perfectly appropriate for you to expect everybody…your husband and others…to give you what you want?
Well apparently, this really is how messed up the typical undeveloped wife is relative to her husband because this is how most of them think and act.
Oh…just so you know, those developed women who enjoy a happy marriage relationship do not “want” their husband to be faithful…they instead want to DESERVE their husband’s faithfulness. They want to give their husband those things that he wants so much so that he has no desire or interest in getting them from someone else.
Now, I KNOW there are exceptions to everything I have said here. I know there are good wives…developed women…who don’t have these flawed, screwed up ways of thinking, behaving, operating, interacting, and expecting…I know there are good, developed wives who do not live or operate in a negative, selfish mentality.
And, I know that there is the occasional stunted, flawed, defective, incorrigible husband who will trounce upon his wife’s goodness no matter how developed she is. But, such guys are the exceptions. Such guys are the outliers.
Sadly, what is NOT an exception…what is NOT an outlier…is what I have described above. The above more or less matches the mainstream of Western hemisphere adult wives…females who are undeveloped…and making life miserable for their own self, their husband, AND their children.
So, if you are a woman reading this, and you would like to enjoy a happier, more loving, more satisfying marriage relationship, then CHANGE YOURSELF so that you give the same standard to YOURSELF that you expect and demand of your husband. CHANGE YOURSELF so that you perform and contribute to your husband in the same way that you want him to perform and contribute for you. CHANGE YOURSELF so that you stop thinking your husband should be exactly like you and do things in exactly the same way you do them. CHANGE YOURSELF to stop thinking that YOUR way is the ONLY right way…and that you are going to be unhappy UNLESS everybody bows down to YOUR way.
And, if you are a husband reading this, then realize that until you learn how to handle, manage, and lead your wife out of her screwed up, negative, selfish ways of thinking, behaving, operating, interacting, and expecting…well, your marriage and sex-life is just going to continue to suck!
Really, there is no end to the BIZARRE mentality of the undeveloped female. Such females “say” they want happiness and a good marriage…but they BLOCK such goodness at every turn.
As an example…over and over, a husband will come to me for help in his marriage…because it is clear that the marriage he and his wife is in is not healthy or well…it is clear that neither he nor his wife is very happy. So, he comes to me for help…he gets my program…but then, he feels like he has to hide it from his wife…for fear that she will find it and blow up on him.
Now, why is this? Why would a wife get upset about her husband trying to develop himself? Why would a wife get upset about her husband striving to lead them into a happier, more satisfying, more fulfilling marriage relationship?
Well, in her undeveloped way of thinking…in her controlling mode of operation…in her female-negativity…she does not want her husband to have anything except what she allows and gives him. She does not want him to be happy without her consent and permission. She does not want him getting sex unless it is with her consent and permission. Lady, I can assure you this is NOT the path on which you will find the happiness you want!
It is really quite comical to see the looks on an undeveloped wife’s face as her husband is developing. As her husband develops into a MAN, it is almost as if there is a neon sign on her face proclaiming, “How dare he be happy without my consent? How dare he become an attractive, desirable, appealing, sexy man without my permission? How dare he become a MAN who can seduce me in a way I enjoy…and not have to work his way through my silly, negative loops and obstacles for crumbs of intimacy? How dare he try to move us into a happy, loving, affectionate, intimate, and sexual marriage relationship?”
Indeed, how dare he try to create goodness with you?
Well, as I alluded to before, you better be glad he was an undeveloped man to begin with…because otherwise, you would have never even gotten a second date with him…and probably, you would not have even gotten a first date with him.
In fact, there may have been a quality guy in your past that you were strongly attracted to…but you just could not seem to get him interested in you? Well, it is likely that he saw through you…and saw the kind of person you really were…and he wasn’t interested in being with that kind of person.
So, count yourself lucky and be glad that you NOW have a husband who is trying to create goodness with you. In fact, you better align yourself with creating goodness WITH him…lest he decide you are not worth it…and he replaces you with a more developed, more positive, more cooperative woman who recognizes what a catch he is!
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro
Husband, This Is THE Solution If You Want An Affectionate, Sexual Marriage Relationship With Your Wife. Click here.