Husband, IF you have come to believe that your wife is not very sexual, then I must let you know that you are way wrong! Moreover, you need to know that you believing your wife is not very sexual is a dangerous misbelief.
Now, let’s catch up with each other…
Do you frequently find yourself frustrated because your wife rarely wants sex?
Is the best that you ever hear from your wife something like, “We can be together if that’s what you want…“?
When you do finally get around to making love, does it feel like your wife is mostly just doing you a favor…that she is giving you something that she doesn’t really want herself?
Is your wife so close and yet so far away…as in she will undress in front of you…or even walk around naked (or nearly naked) in front of you…or she will dress in attractive clothes (or undergarments)…or sit in provocative ways around you…but yet she doesn’t want you touching her “in that way”?
Or perhaps, your situation is so bad that you have given up on sex and would just like to get back to the place where you could hold your wife’s hands, cuddle with her, and kiss her again?
Have you had conversation after conversation…argument after argument…and fight after fight…over the subject of sex…only to have your wife tell you, “It’s not you…it’s me. I just don’t need sex. That’s just not something I want…sex just doesn’t really do anything for me…it’s just not a big deal to me…” or something similar?
An importantly, HAVE YOU COME TO BELIEVE YOUR WIFE WHEN SHE SAYS THIS?
Many husbands do believe their wife when she says something like this.
It feels better to their ego to believe that their wife is just not very sexual than to believe that it has something to do with them personally.
The idea that they somehow lack that special something that turns their wife on is not very appealing to them…so they choose to believe that their wife is a non-sexual person.
Well, permit me to tell you straight up what 25+ years of experience in the field of marriage relationships has taught me: to believe that your wife is not very sexual is a HUGE mistake that WILL cost you dearly in the long run.
Now, to validate this statement, I want you to consider some things from your own experience…
How many men have you personally known…or known of…where their wife wasn’t a very sexual woman…until she ran off with another man?
A little closer to home…
What about those few times when you and your wife were out somewhere…and a certain man came around…and all of a sudden it was like your wife turned into a different person…her eyes lit up…her body language changed…her smile brightened up…AND YOU COULD TELL THAT SHE WAS FEELING ATTRACTION TOWARDS THE OTHER MAN?
Didn’t it especially hurt to know that the attraction your wife was feeling towards this other man was the kind of attraction that you have always wished she would feel and show towards you?
(I won’t even ask you about the jealousy, the big fight, and the fallout that probably happened afterwards.)
What about those sexually-charged books, TV shows, or movies that your wife gets into?
As you face up to the truth…as you get honest with yourself…as you look at what really is…do you feel that little tug of fear in your gut?
If you do, that is a good thing. That is inner wisdom letting you know that YOU need to take action and become the kind of man who possesses the presence and the skills to open up your wife and get her to share her sexuality with you.
Nobody can make you become this kind of man. But, you will be the one who pays the price if you don’t.
Many husbands procrastinate until it is too late. Many husbands do nothing except angrily blame and criticize their wife. Many husbands do nothing except whine and complain that their wife is not very sexual.
But, when their wife finally gives up and says she “Just can’t do it anymore…”
Or, they discover their wife is having an affair with another man…
THEN all of a sudden they want to spring into action. THEN they want to “Work on their marriage“. THEN they really want to know how to become an attractive husband to their wife.
I urge you…be smarter than that…be smarter than to procrastinate until it is too late!
Yes, it will cost you some money. But, mentally put that money in one hand…and mentally put your wife and your marriage (along with any children you have) in your other hand…weigh the two…and ask yourself, “Which is more important: a few dollars or my wife (and family)?”
The fact is…
The notion that your wife is not very sexual is completely bogus.
Now, it may be completely true that currently, your wife is not very sexual with you. But, that in no way means that she will always be contented with living in a not-very-sexual relationship for the rest of her life.
In fact, it is most likely the case that she will eventually become so dissatisfied with being in a not-very-sexual relationship with you that she will either find herself another man on the side…or she will divorce you so that she is free to go find another man to be with.
And just so it is clear, it may be that your wife is not very sexual because of issues that she has with you personally.
Or, it may be that your wife is not very sexual because of other issues that she acquired at some earlier stage in her life.
Most likely, it may be a combination of both.
But whatever the case, two things remain true:
- The longer you go, the more your wife will blame you for your inability to take her into a satisfying and sexual relationship with you…even though she is the one who has been blocking sexual intimacy. In other words, a wife expects her husband to possess the presence and skills to take her into a sexual relationship with him in spite of her mental and/or emotional blocks. And if the man she is with cannot do this, then she blames HIM for the dissatisfaction (and eventual failure) of their relationship.
- With sufficient learning and development, YOU CAN acquire the presence and the skills to create and enjoy a sexual marriage relationship with your wife…regardless of whether her issues are with you or within herself.
So, I urge you:
STOP believing that your wife is not very sexual and START developing the presence and skills that CAUSE her to WANT to be more sexual with you.
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro