Let’s make sure we are on the same page…
Do you frequently find yourself frustrated because your wife rarely wants sex?
Is the best that you ever hear from your wife something like, “We can “be together” if that’s what you want…”?
When you do finally get around to making love, does it feel like your wife is mostly just doing you a favor…that she is giving you something that she doesn’t really want herself?
Is your wife “so close” and yet so far away…as in she will undress in front of you…or even walk around naked in front of you…or she will dress in attractive clothes…or sit in provocative ways around you…but yet she doesn’t want you touching her “in that way”?
Or perhaps, are you in a situation where you’ve given up on sex and you would just like to get back to the place where you could hold your wife’s hands, cuddle with her, and kiss her again?
Have you had conversation after conversation and fight after fight over the subject of sex…only to have your wife tell you something along the lines of, “It’s not you…it’s me. I just don’t need sex. That’s just not something I want…sex just doesn’t really do anything for me…it’s just not a big deal to me…”?
An importantly, DID YOU BELIEVE YOUR WIFE WHEN SHE SAID THIS?
Many husbands do believe their wife when she says this. It feels better to their ego to believe that their wife is just not very sexual than to believe that it has something to do with them personally. The idea that they somehow lack that special something that turns their wife on is not very appealing to them so they choose to believe that their wife is a non-sexual person.
Let me tell you straight up what 19+ years of experience in the field of marriage relationships has taught me: to believe that your wife is not very sexual is a HUGE mistake that WILL cost you dearly in the long run.
Now, to validate this statement, I want you to consider some things from your own experience…
How many men have you personally known…or known of…where their wife wasn’t a very sexual woman…until she ran off with another man?
A little closer to home…
What about those few times when you and your wife were out somewhere…and a certain man came around…and all of a sudden it was like your wife turned into a different person…her eyes lit up…her body language changed…her smile brightened up…AND YOU COULD TELL THAT SHE WAS FEELING ATTRACTION TOWARDS THE OTHER MAN?
Didn’t it especially hurt to know that was the kind of attraction you wish she would show towards you?
(I won’t even ask you about the jealousy, the big fight, and the fallout that probably happened afterwards.)
What about those sexually-charged books, TV shows, or movies that your wife gets into?
As you face up to the truth…as you get honest with yourself…as you look at what really is, do you feel that little tug of fear in your gut?
If you do, that is a good thing. That is inner wisdom letting you know that YOU need to take action and become the kind of man that your wife IS attracted to and that she CAN open up and share her sexuality with.
Nobody can make you become this kind of man. But, you will be the one who pays the price if you don’t.
Many guys procrastinate until it’s too late. It’s cheaper and easier for them to do nothing and continue being angry at their wife while blaming and criticizing her.
But, when their wife finally gives up and says she “just can’t do it anymore…” all of a sudden they want to spring into action. All of a sudden, they want to “work on their marriage”. All of a sudden, they really want to know how to become an attractive man. I urge you…be smarter than that…be smarter than to procrastinate until it’s too late.
Yes, it will cost you some money…but mentally put that money in one hand…and mentally put your wife and your marriage in your other hand…weigh the two…and ask yourself, “Which is more important: a few dollars or my wife?”
Copyright 2012 by Calle Zorro
You may use this article on your own website IF you include the following: “Copyright by Calle Zorro of www.MarriedAndHappy.com“
Hey Calle, can u please explain what this means??? I found this on a forum….
Do you think the advice the woman is giving is what women want???
plz explain…..thanks in advance…….
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question;
“What kind of man are you looking for?”
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, “Do you really want to know?” Reluctantly, he said, “Yes.” She began to expound…
“As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man…or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, “What can you bring to the table?” The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, “I am not referring to money, I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life. “He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain. She said, “I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked…believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, “You are asking a lot. She replied, “I’m worth a lot.”
Regards,
Mr. Happy