Every day men ask me, “My marriage is in trouble…my wife and I are having problems…what is the ONE thing I can do to improve my marriage relationship with her?”
Well, you may be interested in this question so let’s explore it…
Imagine that you bought a new desktop computer…complete with a new monitor, new speakers, and a new printer. With this in mind, which ONE cable could you hook up to get everything on your new computer system working?
Obviously, that’s a nonsensical question, isn’t it?
Exactly! ALL of the power cables and ALL of the data cables for the computer, monitor, speakers, and printer must ALL be hooked up or that new computer simply isn’t going to work.
The point is, it doesn’t matter how much you want just one single thing to turn things around for you and your wife. THERE IS NO ONE SINGLE THING YOU CAN DO TO IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE.
Your marriage is just like a computer…there are all kinds of different interconnections and interactions …there are all kinds of signals and currents flowing back and forth across ALL of the wires and cables…there are all kinds of actions and reactions…and EVERYTHING has to interact in the right way at the right time at the right level for the right purpose and reason…or the computer isn’t going to work properly.
It’s the same in your marriage. What is your perspective? What frame are you operating from? What do you want? What are you trying to get? What do you want your wife to do?
As a husband, you have motivations behind all of these questions which are causing you to think and operate in a certain way…all of which serve as signals and currents between you and your wife…all of which causes your wife to have a certain reaction to you.
Your wife can have only one of three reactions to you:
1. Move affectionately and intimately closer to you
2. Move away from you in coldness and aloofness.
3. Stay the same distance from you
If your wife is moving closer to you, it’s because of MANY things you are doing.
Likewise, if your wife is moving away from you, it’s because of MANY thing you are doing.
And unfortunately, if what you are doing is basically keeping your wife at the same distance from you, then soon enough, that will default to her moving away from you.
In other words, either your marriage is steadily growing and improving…or it’s steadily dying.
What this means is that you need to be doing MANY things if you want to improve your marriage relationship with your wife.
Copyright 2010 by Calle Zorro
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