Of all the married people in our world, what percentage of them do you suppose are happily married?
Here in America, we know that statistics say the divorce rate hovers around 50%. So, does that mean that half of married people are blissfully happy and the other half are getting divorced so they can go get a new partner and join the other half who are blissfully happy?
Nope! Not by a long shot.
Now, we don’t have a readily-available statistic that gives us the percentage of happily married versus unhappily married people…so we’ll let our own personal experience speak for itself. Very few people you or I know are in a TRULY happy, affectionate, exciting, and sexual marriage relationship. You and I know very few people who have the kind of marriage that EVERY married person wants to have.
All it takes is just a few minutes to a couple of hours with a married couple and you can “SEE” that they are not happily married. Yes, they are married…and MAYBE they are even polite, friendly, and civil with each other…but clearly, there is no PASSION, ZEST, or LIFE to their relationship.
So, half of married people are divorcing…while MOST of the rest are “settling”…or they are “accepting”…for a myriad of reasons…while a FEW are actually enjoying a truly satisfying, fulfilling, exciting relationship with their spouse.
Ok, here’s what I think (based upon my observation of married American people with plenty of international marriages sprinkled in as well):
- Only about 5% of the population chooses to create true relationship happiness.
- Only about 5% of the population chooses to live a life filled with purpose, meaning, and significance.
- Only about 5% of the population chooses to create true financial wealth.
- Only about 5% of the population chooses to create a fit, toned, trim, healthy body.
- Only about 5% of the population chooses to create true mental and emotional soundness and wellbeing.
- Only about 5% of the population chooses to truly honor their spiritual values and beliefs.
(Side Note: I dare say that when you try to put percentages on the population who are purposely making the best choices in EACH of these important life areas…so that they have true success in every area of their life, I surmise the percentage is even smaller than 5%. But, for simplicity’s sake, well go with the 95 / 5 ratio.)
The other 95% ALL know that they should be making better choices…they ALL know that what they are doing in these important areas of their life IS DIFFERENT from what they SHOULD be doing…they ALL know that what they are doing isn’t working very well for them…but they aren’t willing or disciplined enough to learn and change.
Consequently, I estimate that only about 5% of the population “GETS” to enjoy “the good life” while about 95% “GETS” to suffer through “the not-so-good life”.
Why do the unhappy 95% do this…especially when ALL of them WANT to be like the happy 5%…and especially, especially when it’s HARDER to be in the unhappy 95%?
More specifically, what about YOU? Since you have control over which group you are in…why aren’t you in the happy 5% group instead of the unhappy 95% group?
Well, if we will all be honest with ourselves, it boils down to negative emotions of one kind or another and non-beneficial attitudes that we give into moment by moment…and those moments turn into a lifetime!
It’s “easier”…IN THE MOMENT…to just be mad and angry at your spouse over something you wish was different between you and them…and it’s “harder”…IN THE MOMENT…to decide to learn how to do things differently…and to follow through on what you learn…so that you and your spouse are positively inspired towards a happy, satisfying relationship.
The only problem is, after the moment is over with, it’s NOT easier. It’s actually HARDER ON YOU to continue living and operating day in and day out on one set of negative emotions and non-beneficial attitudes after another. The unhappiness and the dissatisfaction of it all grates on you and irritates the very core of your being…and that is NOT happiness.
But, the moment a person decides and dictates to themselves that negative emotions and non-beneficial attitudes are NOT going to rule the moments of their life…and they discipline themselves to learn how to create success in their life from people who have already done it…and they begin to do all of the right things that will result in the success they desire…a CALM PEACE, CONFIDENCE, AND HAPPINESS settles over them…finally, they are on the right track with their life…and that “feels” good!
Your marriage relationship will ONLY become what you want it to be WHEN you decide to learn what you need to learn followed by you choosing to DO what you have learned. Until these happen, you and your spouse will continue to have a relationship that goes even more so in the direction it’s been going in for a while now.
Copyright 2010 by Calle Zorro
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