Husband, permit me to be a caring friend to you and to speak frankly with you about your wife, marriage, and sex-life…

You tell your wife that you love her…but then you get angry when she declines your sexual advance.

Is that really love?

And typically, you sulk, pout, and act spiteful and depressed for several days.

Do you really think that will inspire your wife to want to be affectionate and intimate with you?

I understand…really I do…you wanted your wife to have sex with you…but go back to the hours and days prior to you making your “offer”…what exactly was it in your attitude and behavior that was supposed to turn her on?

Well actually, I’m quite sure that you did some little “something” that YOU felt like she should appreciate so much that she instantly became horny…but it never seems to occur to you that you could actually do something that SHE appreciates…something that is meaningful to HER.

Anyway, continuing on…even though you’re not really sorry for your childish behavior towards your wife, you’re getting hornier by the day…so at some point, you set aside the pouting and flip into “producing” a “scene” where you tell your wife you are “sorry for acting badly”…and that you really do “love” her…and she’s so “special” to you…

…and, because you just want sex…and you believe your little “production” will immediately raise her desire for sex to a 12 on a scale of 1 – 10…you initiate sex again…and when your wife declines again…you’re right back into angry mode and ready to toss her out of the house…or go find another woman on the side.

Did you really, honestly think that days of pouting followed by a few seconds or minutes of apology was going to flip her passion switch on?

There’s more…

I’m wondering, are you a husband who thinks he’s so slick that your wife can’t see you for who you really are?

For example, you “claim” that you “care” about your wife and that you are “interested” in her as a person…and you vehemently deny that all you want from her is sex…you fervently affirm that she’s way more than a mere sex object…

…but when your wife comes to you on a non-sexual plane and tries to initiate conversation with you…when she tries to engage you…when she tries to connect with you…when she tries to do something with you…she gets NOTHING…no response…no feedback…no follow-up…which tells her loud and clear…you do NOT “care” about her and you do NOT have any “interest” in her.

I’m not sure how exactly it is that you think your wife sees you…but I am sure that your wife can see as plain as day in your every word and action that you think of her ONLY in terms of breasts and vagina.

Now, I’m going to tell you one of the most important things your father-figure never told you…

Women LOVE sex! Women want a lover! Women dream of passionate intimacy! Women enjoy being the recipient of a REAL MAN’S sexual desire. But, NO WOMAN WANTS TO BE CONSIDERED A “THING” THAT’S ONLY FOR THE PURPOSE OF YOU GETTING OFF!!!

You can go re-read that as many times as you need to.

Now, I’m going to tell you another thing your father-figure never told you…

If your only interest in your wife is in her giving her body to you then you are completely missing all her other important parts…AND…you’ll NEVER be able to generate in her body the kind of pleasure and satisfaction that a man who genuinely cares about other parts of her can generate in her body.

You can’t because you are quite simply so self-centered that you are completely blind to who and what she is…to the beautiful, amazing, wonderful, and incredible person that she is…both sexually and non-sexually.

You can re-read that as many times as you need to.

I’m going to tell you one more thing your father-figure should have told you but never did…

The LEAST interesting thing in the world to a wife is a guy who doesn’t understand how to be a lover. A wife mostly says “No” to a husband who isn’t a lover. Conversely, a wife says “Yes”…A LOT…to a husband who IS a lover. In fact, a wife will frequently ask her husband for sex IF he’s a lover.

Myself, I chose to become a lover so that I could enjoy all the affection and sex my wife WANTED to SHARE with me.

Copyright 2010 by Calle Zorro

Husband, This Is THE Solution If You Want An Affectionate, Sexual Marriage

Husband Or Wife, This Is THE Solution If You Want A Happy Marriage That Works

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3 Responses to “Why Your Wife Says “No” To Sex”

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Calle Zorro, David Herndon. David Herndon said: RT @CalleZorro: Why Your Wife Says "No" To Sex http://www.marriedandhappy.com/blog/285/why-your-wife-says-no-to-sex/ [...]

  2. Lalo says:

    I do everything that was mentioned in this article and I my wife will not initiate sex or do pre-emptive strike claiming she is tired from work, sore, sick, has premenstrual cramps, headache, chest pains, and so on to avoid having sex. She dresses frumpy when go to bed and that is a big turn off. I have told her 1000 times that when she dresses frumpy that it tells me she is not interested in sex. I have bought her sexy lingerie and underwear to wear for me as a signal and she refuses to wear these sexy clothes but tells her friends on Facebook that she loves lingerie. I strongly suspect she’s having an affair or in the process.

    I am in great physical shape, go to gym five days a week and have six pack abs. I am faithful to my wife but her ongoing behavior of avoiding sex continues the only solution is divorce.

  3. Wrong says:

    Blah, Blah, Blah. All I ever read about on the web is how sexless marriages are the fault of the men. That is total bullshit. I, like the commenter above, do everything you mentioned in your little ‘article’, and you know what happens? NOTHING. We’ve talked about it on numerous occassions, and each times she says she will try to make it better. I’ll usually get one effort that night or the following, then its back to normal. Maybe you women need to stop and look in the mirror. When we’ve given you everything we can (from housework to conversation to the other things you’ve mentioned), and the only word you seem to use is ‘NO’, what do you expect? The husband to be unconditionally loving even though he’s being REJECTED on a regular basis? Maybe if you feel like you’re missing the ‘love’, you are at fault. Why in the world would I want to spend time with someone doing what they enjoy, when there is no reciprocation whatsoever? And that’s how the cycle starts. Selfish women are selfish and will never see any other point of view but their own, much like the poster of this article. Get a hobby, because the sex won’t change, in fact, it will probably get worse. Or, better yet, get a divorce. What would the difference be in being alone?