After having helped a lot of men from all over the world create a happier, more sexual marriage, I’ve come to understand an incredible truth: men unknowingly block the very affection, respect, and sex they desire.
Interestingly, the more a husband refuses and rejects this truth…the more a man wants to shift the blame to his wife…the less affection, respect, and sex he has in his marriage…and the worse his marriage grows…guaranteed!
Permit me to illustrate this point by drawing out a few paraphrased points from a “B-movie” I recently watch titled “Far Cry”.
In this movie, the leading male character is an ex-Special Forces tough guy named Jack who can handle people with ease…both physically and mentally…up until he gets into an intimate setting with the leading female character named Valerie…at which point he turns into a total “stooge”.
Here’s what happened…thanks to the efforts of the “bad guys”, Jack and Valerie end up dumped in the ocean…they swim to land…they find an abandoned house…where they take the night to recover and recoup. Once they get some lamps lit, Valerie brings it to Jack’s attention that he’s been shot…and he dismisses it as “just a scratch” and wraps it with a bit of gauze. Now, here’s what I’m leading up to…
Jack wants to get into Valerie’s panties…so, he tells her that she NEEDS to get out of her wet clothes or she’ll get sick…Valerie gets out of her clothes (you don’t really see anything so guys there’s no need to get excited) and gets into the bed that happens to be there with fresh sheets and blankets. Jack then gets out of his wet clothes too…and then gives this LAME excuse that he thinks he’s starting to get hypothermia and he needs to get into the bed with her.
Now mind how absurd this is…here’s a guy who’s just got shot and that’s nothing…but because the house is a little cooler than is comfortable…and more importantly, he wants to get into Valerie’s panties…he starts “claiming” hypothermia.
So now, Jack and Valerie are in bed…he’s on his side and she’s on her side…Jack still wants to get into Valerie’s panties…so, he has to come up with some way to get them even closer. So, Jack proceeds to shift the focus away from what is really his sexual approach by telling Valerie that back when he was in the military, and they were in a situation like this, they shared body heat with another person…and suggests that they should do the same thing now…just so they can “get warm”.
Since it’s the make-believe world of movies, Valerie goes along with Jack’s ongoing “drivel” and “nonsense” and they end up making love.
But, in the real world, when a husband approaches his wife in this kind of nonsensical way…spewing drivel all along the way, she IS turned off by him and she does NOT go along with it…at least not for very long.
Instead, she soon starts claiming she’s tired…or that she has a headache…or whatever excuse she has to use to get out of being intimate with the “stooge” that she’s married to.
And, I’m wondering…what are the nonsensical ways that you’ve tried to shoe-horn your wife into having sex with you?
Take a moment to look back and assess yourself…what LAME statements, excuses, and focus-shifting have you concocted in the past to try to get into your wife’s panties?
Ok, let’s move on…the situation gets worse…the next morning, Jack asks Valerie the question, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how good was I?” Valerie tries and tries to ignore the question…she rolls her eyes to herself when Jack isn’t looking…but Jack is persistent…he has GOT to know how he “rates”…he won’t give up until he finds out…and Valerie finally tells him that he’s a ‘2’…and of course Jack doesn’t like that answer so he keeps pushing until Valerie “gives him another number” and makes him a ‘3’…and for the entire rest of the movie Jack keeps harping on and complaining about Valerie’s judgment that he’s only a level 2 – 3 lover.
And, just like Jack…insecure, needy husbands all over the world have asked their wife time and time again to “judge” them…and because the wife knows that her husband needs her to make him feel ok about himself, she tells him that he’s a ’10’…she even sometimes tells him that on the scale of 1 – 10 he’s an ’11’ or even a ’12’…she doesn’t dare tell him that he’s really a 2 or 3 because she knows that his fragile, weak ego and self-esteem would be shattered and she’d be dealing with a guy who was even more insecure, needy, depressed and whiny than he already is.
And again, I’m wondering…in your insecurity and neediness…what are all the different ways you’ve asked your wife to judge you…so that you could feel good about yourself in relation to her?
Like I said before…men unknowingly block the very affection, respect, and sex they desire.
The good news is, if a man can “block” the affection, respect, and sex that he desires, he can also learn how to remove that block…you can find out how to “open” the way so that your wife WANTS to shower you with affection, respect, and sex.
The “way” that works so well is at the links below.
Copyright 2009 by Calle Zorro