A man doesn’t have to agree with everything his wife says.
A man can say “no” to his wife’s requests.
A man can go a direction that’s different from the one his wife wants to take
He can do all of these things and his wife will STILL respect, admire, appreciate, and be attracted to him…as long as she knows that he has carefully listened to her and considered the different variables that she is trying to bring to his awareness.
Unfortunately, the big mistake I frequently see husbands make is that they simply don’t listen to their wife. They don’t appreciate the broader scope and alternate perspectives that she brings to the table.
Rather, they just shut their wife out…and their wife shuts down sexually.
The point is that a man should ALWAYS listen to what his wife has to say and CONSIDER what it is that she’s striving to help him understand in her female form of indirect prompting.
And then, he has to do one more critical thing: IMPLEMENT!
This is where many men blow it. They’ll listen to their wife. They’ll consider what she has to say. But then, they just don’t do anything with it. They don’t make changes that need to be made. They don’t take the actions that need to be taken. They just keep on riding the old status quo train.
The net effect is that they didn’t listen to their wife. They didn’t grasp the fact that their wife was trying to make things better in some particular area of their marriage.
I’ve had wife after wife tell me that they tried to talk with their husband about some problem in their marriage and he essentially ignored her.
Many of these wives even did it in the right way. The first talk, she tried to be as nice and inoffensive as possible and to just make suggestions about how things could be made better. The second time, she was a little more direct and blunt. The third and remaining times, she went into a full-fledged blow-up.
And, each time she tried to talk to her husband, he agreed with her. He may have even went so far as to cry and promise her that he’d do better.
But, after the storm was over, he didn’t really do anything.
Honestly, in the man’s mind, everything was fine just the way it was and he really wasn’t interested in making any changes. That’s why he didn’t do anything. As far as he was concerned, things were ok because he had a wife to cook, clean, take care of the kids, and go to bed with.
Of course, I usually hear about all of this after the wife has filed for divorce and the husband has begged her to get on the phone with me to see if there’s any way I can persuade her to go back to him.
However, long before the wife left her husband, they had nothing more than a (mostly) civil friendship. They certainly didn’t have a happy, sex-filled marriage.
A normal woman will soon enough reach the point where she refuses to have sex with a man that she doesn’t respect and a man who won’t listen, consider, and implement as appropriate is a man she won’t respect.
Have you ever heard your wife say something like this?
- “We don’t ever do anything together any more. We need to do more things together…”
- “You want to go out with me? I’m going to the store for a few things…”
- “You’re a good husband but sometimes, I just feel lonely…”
- “Sometimes, I feel like we’ve just lost it…we don’t really have that connection we used to have…”
- “Maybe we should go see a marriage counselor to help us get back the passion we once had…”
Actually, the more important question is, “What did you DO when you heard your wife say these things?”
If you’re like the normal man, you didn’t do anything.
Here’s the deal, some wives will move into the UNNATURAL position of being the LEADER in their marriage…they’ll be the one who CARRIES the marriage and who tries to help and fix it. But, NO woman will do this forever. Eventually, she’ll get fed up with having a man who won’t listen to her pleas for improvement. Eventually, she’ll reach a threshold where she’s just DONE. No more! It’s DIVORCE time.
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro