If you are a young man who has recently joined the ranks of married men, then the odds are high that you’re about to run into significant marital trouble…especially if your new wife isn’t very experienced in the realm of sexual expression.
For some new husbands, sexual problems pop up right away — sometimes even before they get back from their honeymoon.
Here’s one common reason why…
Many a young lady has been programmed for nearly two decades by her mother and other “well-meaning” women that “sex is bad”, “men only want one thing”, etc.
Further, many a young lady grows up hearing the women in her life complaining about the relationship they have with their husband — bombarding her highly impressionable young female ears with all sorts of negative opinions, non-useful perspectives, and sometimes downright harmful beliefs about sex and men.
Well, many things of a sexual nature are inappropriate for a young girl and a good mother will wisely guide her daughter away from and around such things.
After she gets a older, a good mother will counsel her daughter that being unmarried and promiscuous has enough negative consequences that she is best served by avoiding sex.
However, sex IS completely appropriate within a marriage and not only is it appropriate, it’s a good, healthy, and important part of a marriage.
Unfortunately, most new wives never had a mother or other female figure who helped them make this distinction…all the young lady got was, “Sex is bad”.
And, to make things particularly insidious, the new wife’s belief systems are mostly if not completely subconscious.
Rare is the new wife who will consciously think about her new relationship with her husband and compare, contrast, and consider that with her own carefully thought out beliefs.
Rare is the new wife who will put real thought into her needs, her husbands needs, her communication methods, his communication methods, etc and come up with a consciously rational perspective and approach to her marriage.
Instead, she finds herself mentally grappling with and struggling with an unconscious battle between “I’m supposed to have sex with my husband” and “Sex is bad”.
Significantly, this unconscious battle that this new wife is battling is so real – even though it is unconscious – that she will literally begin manifesting health problems. The most common ones being extreme tiredness, pain during intercourse, and yeast infections.
So, what does all of this mean to you as a new husband?
It means you are faced with a challenge…a challenge that will either make or break your marriage.
Specifically, the challenge is for you to LEARN how to create a safe, secure, trusting environment wherein you gently LEAD your new wife into that place where she can comfortably express her sexuality and know that it’s the proper thing to do in her marriage…not only for her husband’s sake, but for her sake as well.
And, you are a man. You are made by God to take on challenges, to establish goals, to achieve, accomplish, and overcome. You can do it.
Really, it’s an honorable and exciting journey that you get to take you and your new wife on…the destination being one of open and exciting sexual expression by both you and your wife.
Enjoy both the journey and the destination!
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro