Have you ever been to a gathering or party where there was one man who seemed to outshine all the other men?
Did it seem to you that the women – particularly your wife – were attracted to this man?
Did you feel a bit frustrated – maybe even depressed, helpless, and hopeless – because you wished you could be the kind of guy who was the center of attention – and especially your wife’s attention?
Were you particularly disheartened and discouraged as it occurred to you that women are only interested in having sex with men like “Mr. life-of-the-party” but not with men like you – and given this, those other men will always be able to have a great sex life while you’ll NEVER be able to have one?
If you can relate to what I’ve said so far, then consider the following:
- Every person alive has their own special element where they outshine everyone else around them. At a party, it may be a certain guy. But, put that guy in a different element and any females around him would be totally turned off by his ineptness.
- Everyone is different in the things that attract them. Everyone is different in the things they want. So, for that certain guy at the party, the real truth is that there will be some women who ARE definitely attracted to him, their will be other women who are definitely NOT attracted to him, and there will be those women who aren’t impacted by him either way.
- Realize there is amazing diversity in women and what it is that they are attracted to. There’s the male movie star that one girl gushes over while her friend exclaims, “Gross!” There’s the rich man that one woman flings herself at while another is totally repulsed by his “ugliness” and doesn’t care anything about his money. There’s the sports star that one lady hangs on while another has zero interest in him because she doesn’t want someone who’s always training and has no time for her.
- If you were to lay out pictures of the greatest men of all time, men who have had enough of an impact on society that they are captured and recorded by history – from the beginning of time until now – you would see that there are all sizes, shapes, colors, and types of men. The reality is that what they looked like and what they had was really irrelevant and unimportant to the majority of society. What was important was who they were as a person, what they stood for, and the effect and impact they had on the well-being of others.
- Effective immediately, STOP attributing power to others while diminishing your own. That guy in the center of the room at the party telling the story…YOU CAN LEARN TO TELL AN INTERESTING STORY. That guy in the center of the room causing other people laugh…YOU CAN LEARN TO CAUSE PEOPLE LAUGH. That guy in the center of the room causing people to feel good about themselves…YOU CAN LEARN TO CAUSE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES. That guy in the center of the room who has accomplished something meaningful and important…YOU CAN DO WHAT IT TAKES TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING MEANINGFUL AND IMPORTANT. It’s true that you may not look like that guy but it’s also true that anything he can do, you can do – and some things you’ll do better and some things you won’t do as well. That makes you EQUAL even though there are differences between you.
- Over time, have you conditioned yourself to predominantly think in terms of your lack, inabilities, and limitations while thinking of others in terms of their abundance, capabilities, and possibilities? If so, REVERSE the way you think about yourself and your potential. The fact is, there is potential abundance of and opportunity for all good available everywhere to everyone – including you – including your marriage – including your sex life.
- ANY man who has sufficiently developed and balanced himself does not lack in sex. The only men who are lacking sex are those who have not developed themselves, their attractiveness, or their relationship skills. In fact, any time we experience any kind of lack or limitation in our lives that is our SIGNAL – that is our SIGN – that we need to develop and grow in some area of our life.
- Consider getting some books on success and prosperity as these will help you shift any lack and limitation consciousness over to one of prosperity and success which can only improve your marriage and your sex-life. Three books I strongly suggest you read AND ABSORB are (if you’re not a reader, these are also available in audio and video format):
- “How To Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
- “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill
- “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne
- Yes, it’s true that every wife wants her husband to be “THE MAN”. But, what that “MAN” is, is in certain ways different for every woman alive. That’s why you don’t have to worry about it. All you have to do is take responsibility for being the very best that you can be – both personally and professionally – and you are competing with NO ONE except YOURSELF. Your task is to be a happy, positive, loving, accepting, approving, ever-improving person who knows who they are, where they’re at, and where they’re going while positively impacting as many people as possible on their way. And, as you continue to develop, expand, and enhance yourself through your competition with yourself, through your constant improvement of yourself, you become more and more attractive – you become “The MAN”.
- Besides, if you ever became an eligible bachelor, there would be plenty of ladies right where you live – assuming they knew about your availability – who’d be very interested in getting to know you better – and at least one of these ladies would be convinced that you were “THE MAN”. Of course, there’s no need for you to know about these ladies right now and there’s no need for them to know about you right now because you’re not eligible. But, if circumstances ever became such that you were eligible, God would definitely make the “arrangements”.
- A man who positions himself as a lesser man, as a subordinate man, as a nobody, or as a loser definitely does not turn on his wife. But, here’s the good news…you don’t have to be “better” than some other guy. You just have to be the very best YOU that you can possibly be.
As you give consideration to these bullets, it may well dawn on you that in truth, whether or not you enjoy a sex-filled marriage has nothing to do with some man in the middle of some room and EVERYTHING to do with YOU. And, the more you go to work on YOU, the more your wife’s attention and attraction will turn towards you.
Copyright 2008 by Calle Zorro