What About When You Have Tried Everything To Get Your Wife To Be More Sexual?

No matter how much I try, nothing works with her!

Have you ever felt like no matter what you do…or how hard you try…it simply is not possible to have a good, affectionate, intimate, and sexual relationship with your wife?

Do you sometimes feel like your wife is a great mom…and a good home-keeper…but a lousy wife?

If yes, then you should know that you are definitely NOT the only husband who has ever felt these things.

Sadly, there are too many men who are running out of hope relative to their marriage…men who are becoming progressively convinced that their not-very-sexual wife simply cannot be fixed.

Following is a message from such a man…and I think you will find his message…as well as my response…interesting, informative, and relevant. Here is his message:

Hi Calle,

I have tried everything to get me and my wife’s intimate life working.

To give you some background, my wife and I have been married just over 15 years, we have a couple of children, and my wife is a stay-at-home mom. I am a middle-aged man who is in great shape, who doesn’t drink, who is a solid leader, who treats my wife and kids with love and kindness, who is a good provider for my family, who is a success in his career, and all the other things a “good” husband is supposed to be.

I have read numerous books, put the knowledge into action and nothing seems to work. In addition to making numerous permanent positive changes…I have been praying for a miracle in our marriage for well over 10 years…and nothing has improved.

I am writing you because I have read all of your articles and you don’t seem to acknowledge that sometimes ALL of the effort in the world won’t work in instances where a couple is poorly paired.

Sometimes two people simply shouldn’t be married to each other…the decision to get married in the first place was a poor/immature one.

Can you address this very-possible scenario in an article rather than making every man feel like all you have to do is A, B and C and you’ll get what you desire?

That is simply false advertising. It may work for a majority of men, but there are a few…like me…who MANY other women would love to have but whose wives are unreachable.

Before I respond to this message, I want to make something very clear:

Nothing I am about to say is meant to suggest that men are stupid, bumbling oafs who cannot help but fail at turning on their wife.

I do NOT think that men are inept, incompetent fools who can only fail with their wife.

Rather, I KNOW that ALL men can succeed WONDERFULLY with their wife…IF they will but become a certain quality and caliber of man.

I KNOW that ALL men possess the LATENT ability to create and enjoy all the success with a wife that they want.

The problem is, the typical male fails to SUFFICIENTLY develop HIS latent ability…and consequently, he stumbles around in ignorance and foolishness relative to his wife…unaware of how to create the relationship or the outcomes with her that he desires to enjoy with her.

Next, let’s cover this: roughly 25 years of experience and observation prove that MOST men are VERY, VERY FOOLISH in marrying the woman they marry.

Experience and observation proves that the typical husband should NEVER have married the woman that he is married to.

Experience and observation proves that IF most men would have just been FAR MORE SELECTIVE AND CRITICAL-THINKING in selecting a wife, DECADES of their life would have been happier and more enjoyable.

But, they were young, foolish, horny, enamored by some gal’s good looks…and off they go into marriage…and subsequently YEARS of misery and suffering.

Even worse, there are frequently children who get to suffer through a childhood with unhappy, conflict-laden parents at the helm…such that these children end up dysfunctional themselves…and the cycle repeats generation after generation.

Now, in the private forum that corresponds with my program, I have an entire section that is devoted to teaching single men how to be wise in selecting a wife. But, for the guys who are presently married…whether they were wise or foolish in selecting a wife is a moot point. All that matters now is teaching them what to do and how to do it so they can create a good marriage out of what was previously a bad marriage.

Next, let’s go to this: I readily acknowledge that not every marriage can be fixed. However, AT LEAST 95+% of them CAN be fixed IF the husband will become a certain quality and caliber of man.

I’ll say that differently: no matter how bad a man and woman’s marriage may have been in the past, AT LEAST 95+% of all women are rational enough that if given a bit of time to heal and get over the past, they will begin responding positively, affectionately, intimately, and sexually to their husband IF he will but develop himself into a certain quality and caliber of man.

Out of every 100 troubled marriages, there MIGHT be 1-5 that are not fixable because the wife is too stubborn, hate-filled, bitterness-filled, resentment-filled, or rebellious to surrender to the very thing that she wants: a happy marriage with an attractively-operating man.

Out of every 100 women, there MIGHT be 1-5 who are so irrational and foolish that they refuse to respond to the very thing they want more than anything in the world: a happy marriage with an attractively-operating man.

But, even in these so-called “not-fixable” cases, it must be acknowledged that MOST of them could have been fixed…IF the husband would have learned how to turn-on his wife sooner.

But, the husband waited until it was too late. The husband did not do anything substantial to develop himself…he just let things slide year after year without really fixing anything…until the wife reached the point where she was no longer willing to give her husband another chance…because she was no longer willing to give anymore of her life to him…no matter how much he improved himself.

Next, let’s cover this: there are husbands who do try to learn how to create a happy, sexual marriage…and they still fail with their wife. There are husbands who search for marriage help materials…and they do study those materials…they do make improvements…but unfortunately, the materials they are referencing are too shallow…which means the husband still does not know how to fix his wife affectionately, intimately, or sexually.

In fact, I was one of these men who consumed every resource I could find trying to save my first marriage. Sadly, nothing I found was substantial enough to help me make the kind of difference that was needed…and ultimately, my first marriage ended.

Yes, I studied hard. Yes, I made improvements. But, the materials simply did not contain enough substance to equip me or enable me to fix my marriage…and ultimately that first marriage ended. That is precisely why I have spent roughly 25 years refining a system for men that I KNOW is substantial enough to work for them.

Now, let’s go a bit deeper. The thing that a normal adult woman wants more than anything else in life is a happy, positive, pleasant, fun, exciting, satisfying, fulfilling, affectionate, intimate, and sexual relationship with a man who has an attractive mode of operation.

Yes, she wants children and a happy family too…but if she is forced to pick one or the other, she is going to pick having the kind of relationship with a man that I just described.

The problem is, the typical wife ends up in a relationship with an undeveloped husband whose mode of operation is decidedly not-attractive…and so, she turns her interests and her affections entirely to her children…or her friends…or her job…or something else…and relationship-wise, what she and her husband end up with isn’t much.

Let’s revisit the descriptors of the kind of relationship the typical woman wants to be in with a man:

  • Happy
  • Positive
  • Pleasant
  • Fun
  • Exciting
  • Satisfying
  • Fulfilling
  • Affectionate
  • Intimate
  • Sexual

Well, guess what?

This is exactly the kind of relationship that the typical husband wants to be in with his wife, is it not?

The problem is, because of his lack of development relative to females…because he has never developed himself in understanding how to properly lead and manage a male/female relationship…the typical husband does not know how to create this kind of relationship with his wife.

More specifically, he does not have the developed, attractive mode of operation by which he invokes the kinds of feelings within his wife that cause her to respond in such a way that the kind of relationship that they BOTH want happens.

Instead, the typical husband operates in such a way that usually within a few months after marriage, he is progressively invoking feelings of turn-off and shut-down in his wife relative to himself.

This doesn’t mean that his wife no longer has any need, interest, or desire for sex. It just means that she is LESS interested in sex with her husband towards whom she feels turn-off and shut-down.

Or, to the point alluded to in the above quote…the wife comes into the marriage ALREADY turned-off and shut-down affectionately, intimately, and sexually as a result of her upbringing, conditioning, and previous experiences.

But, whether she is turned-off previously or subsequently, the problem is still the SAME: the husband does not know how to invoke the kinds of feelings within his wife that cause her to turn-on towards him.

Yes, he knows how to blow up on his wife and start a big fight with her for not being sexual enough.

Yes, he knows how to complain, gripe, and whine about his wife’s lack of sexual expression with him.

Yes, he knows how to accuse, criticize, belittle, and condemn his wife for not being turned-on towards him.

Yes, he has tried to bribe, coerce, and manipulate his wife into being more sexual with him by taking her on special dates or trips…or by buying her things…or by doing certain things around the house…or by whatever other means he tried to maneuver or obligate his wife into being more sexual with him.

But, what he has NEVER done is operated with an attractive mode of operation that consistently and progressively invoked feelings of turn-on in his wife towards him.

So now, let’s begin moving to the crux of the matter…

When a man begins consistently operating with the attractive mode of operation that I explain across the entirety of my program, his wife can only respond to him in one of two ways:

  1. She can surrender into a happy, loving, affectionate, intimate, sexual, and satisfying relationship with him.
  2. She must leave him because the pressure created by his attractiveness, desirability, appeal, sexiness, and masculinity on one hand…and her stubbornness, hatefulness, spitefulness, and rebelliousness on the other hand…is too great…and so she must leave to get away from the pressure.

Of course, as I pointed out before, MOST women are rational enough that they are NOT going to leave a husband who has become the man of their dreams. Most women are rational enough that they are NOT going to walk away from a husband who has become the most attractively-operating, appealing, desirable, and sexy man she knows.

Like I said previously, no matter how bad things have been in the past, AT MOST only 1-5 out of every 100 wives are silly enough to walk away away from a husband who is sincerely developing himself and increasing his understanding of how to turn her on towards him. And as also previously stated, if a husband starts developing himself soon enough, the chances of a wife walking away drops even lower…and his chances for success are even higher.

Now, here is what I must point out: there are MANY men who come into my world absolutely convinced that their wife is one of the 1-5 “unreachable” women who cannot be fixed…and almost all of them are totally wrong!

These men came into my world convinced that there was no hope of having a happy, loving, affectionate, intimate, and sexual relationship with their wife because SHE was flawed or broken in some irreparable way.

But, what almost all of them discovered was that once they developed themselves so that they operated in a consistently attractive way…such that they consistently invoked feelings of turn-on within their wife towards them…well, sex was no longer a problem.

What almost all of them discovered was that what they THOUGHT was a “wife-problem” was really their own failure (due to ignorance) to operate in an attractive mode of operation.

I’ll make the point this way: any normal woman WILL have a turned-on, affectionate, intimate, and sexual response to a husband who consistently operates in an attractive manner…and it is a very, very rare woman who will reject a relationship with an attractively-operating man.

Yes, there are a few rare females who will irrationally reject the very thing they want…and IF your wife was truly one of those who fit in this category of irrational and “unreachable”…then you would very likely be dealing with problems and issues that are far bigger than just a not-very-sexual marriage relationship.

What does this mean?

Statistically speaking, the odds are extremely high that the reason a husband’s wife is not very sexual with him is because of HIS mode of operation.

No matter how good a husband he may think he is, the probability is that HIS mode of operation is the reason his marriage relationship is not what he wants it to be.

Now, let’s set aside trying to protect our egos for a moment…and let’s think about what is being said here…

When a man is of sufficient quality, caliber, and development…when a man’s mode of operation is sufficiently attractive, desirable, appealing, and sexy…when a man really knows how to lead, handle, and manage a woman…such that he invokes turn-on within her towards him…then she really cannot have any other response to him except an affectionate, intimate, and sexual response.

To say the same thing from a different angle, it is reasonable to deduce that if a so-called “unreachable” wife was with another man of a certain quality and caliber…a highly-developed man who knew how to operate in an attractive, appealing, sexy manner…then she WOULD be different…she WOULD be a more affectionate, intimate, and sexual woman.

And, what I am doing is helping men become this quality and caliber of man who creates this affectionate, intimate, and sexual kind of relationship with his wife.

Now, to further solidify the crux of the matter, let’s go to another point made in the quote above…

What about the case where it seems that MANY other women are interested in a given husband…but yet, his own wife is not interested in him?

First, I can tell you this is an extremely common case. The fact is, most EVERY husband who is in a not-very-sexual marriage regularly encounters other women who are extra friendly and who convey interest in him.

And of course, this is extremely frustrating to him because he just wants his wife to be the one who is interested in him.

Second, pretty much all of these other women have a “typical” husband at home who does not know how to create the kind of relationship that these women are wanting to enjoy with a man.

Moreover, years or decades have passed and the husbands of these women STILL have not developed themselves into the kind of man who knows how to create a satisfying relationship for the two of them to enjoy together.

And so, these women are looking elsewhere hoping to find some other man who is developed enough to know how to create the kind of relationship they want to have, share, and enjoy with a man.

Either that, or these women have already divorced…or been divorced by…a man who didn’t know how to create a satisfying relationship with them…and so now they are single, on the prowl, and looking for a man who can create a satisfying relationship with them.

And so, you have unhappily married women…or women already divorced from an unhappy marriage…who are conveying interest to the men who they “read” as most readily available…which is those men who are also in an unhappy marriage…or recently divorced from an unhappy marriage.

When you look at it for what it is, it is apparent that the odds of success for any unions that arise out of this mix are not very promising, are they?

But, let’s say that a man did divorce his current wife…and marry one of these other women who has shown and expressed interest in him.

What do you think is going to happen AFTER a new woman gets to know him to the same extent that his current wife knows him?

Well, I can tell you what will happen: he will soon enough be in exactly the same situation with the new woman.

Yes, the specifics and details will be slightly different…but the outcomes and end-results are going to be exactly the same…i.e. a not very sexual relationship.

This is because a man’s mode of operation will reliably produce the same kind of outcome with any woman that he is with…ONCE she gets to know him for what he really is.

That brings us to the crux of the matter: a marriage relationship can ONLY be happy, loving, affectionate, intimate, and sexual IF the husband possesses an attractive mode of operation and the skills to lead, handle, and manage his wife such that he invokes turn-on in her towards him.

Bluntly, no matter how quality a given woman may be…no matter how hard a woman may try to make things work with her husband…IF the husband lacks an attractive mode of operation or the skill to lead, handle, and manage his wife…then within a relatively short period of time, the level of affection, intimacy, and sexuality IS going to decrease substantially.

Now, in response to the scenario proposed in the quote I started this article off with, let’s give you the chance to answer some personal questions:

  1. Are you sure that no other man…regardless of his skill, ability, or attractiveness…could invoke a turned-on response in your wife?  If you are, then it may be that your wife truly is “unreachable”.
  2. Is your wife truly so “crazy”…is she truly so irrational…that she regularly flat-out rejects the very good that she wants at her core?  If yes, then it may be that your wife truly is “unreachable”.
  3. Is your wife truly so “crazy”…is she truly so irrational…that your not-very-sexual marriage is the least of your problems?  If yes, then it may be that your wife truly is “unreachable”.
  4. Do you KNOW FOR SURE that you could create long-term relationship success with another woman in spite of all the issues and problems that she MOST DEFINITELY has…whether you have ever seen those problems or not?  Do you KNOW FOR SURE that you have the ability to create turn-on in another woman…even though she MOST DEFINITELY has the same types of mental and emotional challenges that your current wife has…even though she MOST DEFINITELY has the same kinds of negativity struggles that your current wife has?  If yes, then I guess you can discard your wife as “unreachable” and go use your skills for good effect on another woman.

If you can truly and honestly answer “Yes” to all of these questions…then perhaps your wife is “unreachable”.

If you are fully convinced that your current skills will work to create and sustain a sexual marriage with any other woman except your current wife…then perhaps you should discard her and go find another woman.

Otherwise, the root of your problem is that YOUR mode of operation needs improving…and the sooner you develop YOUR mode of operation into being attractive, appealing, desirable and sexy…as well as developing YOUR ability to lead, handle, and manage your wife in a way that invokes turn-on in her…the sooner you can get to enjoying the kind of relationship with her that you have been wanting all along.

I will repeat the truth that I presented previously:

When a man is of sufficient quality, caliber, and development…when a man’s mode of operation is sufficiently attractive, desirable, appealing, and sexy…when a man really knows how to lead, handle, and manage a woman…such that he invokes turn-on within her towards him…then she really cannot have any other response to him except an affectionate, intimate, and sexual response.

Knowing this:

IF a husband is not getting a consistently affectionate, intimate, and sexual response from his wife…

IF a husband’s wife CAN have any other response to him besides the affectionate, intimate, and sexual response that he wants from her…

Then is that a function of HIS quality, caliber, or development?

Or, is it a function of HIS mode of operation?

Or, is it a function of HIS leading, handling, and managing ability?

If he is confident that he is sufficiently developed and skilled in all of these areas, then perhaps his wife is “unreachable”.

Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro

Husband, This Is THE Solution If You Want An Affectionate, Sexual Marriage Relationship With Your Wife. Click here.

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