Are you a husband who is asking yourself, “Why has my wife stopped being sexual?” If yes, then this article is for you. Herein, I am going to share five top reasons why the typical husband’s wife stopped being sexual.
With that said, let’s back up a bit…
In the realm of relationships, there is a very real scenario that is so common that it has become a proverb that guys joke about just to mask the pain they really feel.
The scenario I am referring to is the one where a gal is all affection, intimacy, and sexuality BEFORE a guy commits to marrying her (or moving in with her). But, AFTER the guy makes the BIG COMMITMENT to the gal, then her level of affection, intimacy, and sexuality drops anywhere from significantly to drastically.
As a result, the guy ends up feeling like he has been deceived and cheated…and he feels “stuck” because of all the commitments and investments that have been made in bringing the two of them together into the same living space.
The worst part of the whole deal for the typical guy is that he was aware of and familiar with this proverb about women changing after the guy makes the big commitment. Consequently, he delayed making that big commitment…he held off on making the big commitment…waiting to see if his gal would change on him.
But, no matter how long he delayed, the gal seemed to just keep on showing herself to be affectionate, intimate, and sexual…to the point he started believing that his gal was different…that she wasn’t like all the others.
Prior to the big commitment, he could just meet up with the gal…show her some attention…do some little something with her…and she was all hot to trot…showering him with affection, intimacy, and (in most cases) sex.
Prior to the big commitment, the gal initiated the affection, intimacy, and sex just as much or more than he did.
And so, the guy finally makes the leap into the big commitment…believing that this gal is the one who he can share the rest of his life with in affection, intimacy, and sex.
But then wonder of wonders…to his dismay, shock, and horror…in a short 2-12 months, his gal DOES change…and she stops being so affectionate, intimate, and sexual. Incomprehensibly, he too has somehow managed to become just another guy whose wife stopped being sexual.
And, with his gal’s decline in affection, intimacy, and sexuality towards him, the arguments and fights start growing…the disconnection and division starts increasing…the hurt feelings and offenses start racking up…and the guy cannot understand why his gal is changing now…after all the time he spent trying, testing, and proving her during the dating period.
The guy simply cannot grasp how he could spend YEARS dating her…and the entire time she was OVER THE TOP affectionate, intimate, and sexual…UNTIL he made the big commitment…and then in a few short MONTHS it is like the plug to the reservoir that held her affection, intimacy, and sexuality has been pulled and these parts of her went down the drain and into the sewer.
Now, what the guy gets from the gal is mostly excuses, rejection, and blame-shifting instead of affection, intimacy, and sex.
Instead of crazy-hot affection, intimacy, and sex every day and night, it is ho-hum, obligatory hugging or kissing once every day or two…and intercourse once or twice a month…if not less.
The guy feels like he is literally going nuts as he lays beside the gal that he loves and wants but is blocked off from affectionately, intimately, and sexually. He lays there night after night feeling confused, frustrated, hurt, cheated, and betrayed. He lays there wondering, “How does this happen? How did this happen to ME? How did I end up like this? How is it that my wife stopped being sexual with me?”
To the guy, it is plain to see that his wife’s decline in affection, intimacy, and sexuality is literally tearing their relationship apart. But, as bad as all of this feels, the even worse feeling is that he does not know what to do or how to fix the problem.
Yes, he tries to discuss the problem with his wife…but that just leads to even more arguments, fights, and hurt feelings…and usually even less sex than before.
Or, his wife switches things around and positions him as an insecure, whining, complaining, perverted sex-addict.
Even more disheartening to the guy is that his wife NOW tells him she just doesn’t think about or desire sex anymore.
And still, the guy wonders, “How and why has my wife stopped being sexual?”
After each fight, the guy does everything he knows to try to smooth things out again between he and the gal…he makes sure he shows her love…he takes her on a date…he makes time to listen to her…he jumps in and helps even more with household chores…he buys her a nice gift…or he takes her on a nice trip…and so on…but it doesn’t fix the situation…his efforts don’t get him anywhere…his gal’s affection, intimacy, and sex faucet continues to remain turned off. He remains a husband whose wife stopped being sexual.
With that foundation let’s now list five common reasons why a wife stopped being sexual with her husband.
1) Reality Is Not As Exciting As Fantasy
The typical female starts building a fantasy in her mind of what it will be like to be with a guy somewhere between the age of 10 and 13…and the female continues building that fantasy until she marries.
Now, all a female needs is a half-way decent guy to show up and give her attention…and she will plug him into her fantasy. But, the deal is, the “excitement” that a female feels while she is dating is all in response to her fantasy. She is so into her fantasy that reality does not exist and she does not know the REAL guy that she is dating.
But, once she marries…THEN REALITY starts setting in…then she starts seeing the guy for who and what he really is. The problem is, the typical guy is not very developed in terms of leading, handling, and managing a female…and so, the “reality” that the female discovers is not at all like what she had imagined in her fantasy…and so, she starts shutting down and turning off in response to the “reality” that she is now living in.
More specifically, she shuts down in response to being in a marriage relationship with a relationally-undeveloped, relationally-inept guy…a guy who does NOT understand what her real needs are…or how to interact with her…or how to relate with her…in an attractive, appealing, desirable, or sexy way.
Now, what about cases where the woman is well past her teenage years? Well, the short answer is that when it comes to being in a new relationship, even older, experienced women fail to make the distinction between fantasy and reality. It is quite common for middle-aged or even older women to step into a relationship with a guy without knowing who he really is or what he is really like because she is once again playing the fantasy in her mind and responding to that.
2) Attraction Sacrificed For Security
In some cases, a female…especially one that is 30 or older…really wants a male in her life for security reasons. Of course, there are other reasons why a woman wants a man in her life…but the point here is that she feels a really big need for security…and she believes this need can be satisfied by hooking up with a man. The problem is that this need can be so overpowering in a woman that she steps into a relationship with a guy…even when she is not very attracted to him and she does not really like him.
The treachery here is that such a woman will be extremely sexual with the male in order to “hook him”…but once she has him hooked…and her need for security is satisfied…then, her lack of attraction takes over…and she shuts down on the guy affectionately, intimately, and sexually.
3) Attraction Sacrificed For Companionship
Similar to the preceding item…it can sometimes be the case that a female is just lonely…perhaps she has never been married…or maybe she has been divorced for a while…and she just wants companionship…so much so that she sets most all of her other values and needs aside…and just goes for getting her need for companionship satisfied.
But, once she has companionship, then her other needs start coming back into her focus…at which point she realizes that they guy she has hooked up with is not very compatible with her other needs…and so she starts shutting down and turning off affectionately, intimately, and sexually towards him.
4) Too Much Of A Mismatch
In some cases, a couple gets along great while they are dating and only coming together for a few hours at a time…but once they move into the same living space…then at that point, the gal realizes that her way of thinking, operating, being, and doing is very different from the guy’s way of thinking, operating, being, and doing…so much so that she shuts down and turns off towards him affectionately, intimately, and sexually.
5) Too Set In Ways
When a woman marries late in life…or she has been previously married…she can have her own deeply-entrenched, long-held habits, patterns, styles, and ways of doing things. So, when she moves into the same space with a new guy…and he does things differently…well, that quickly begins to irritate and frustrate her…such that she shuts down and turns off affectionately, intimately, and sexually.
In the same vein, when the man moves into the woman’s home…she can have a strong sense of ownership and possession of the home…and she feels like her new husband is a guest who should adapt himself to her and her way of doing things…but when he doesn’t, she quickly begins to feel like he is an unwelcome intruder…she soon begins building frustration and resentment…and consequently, her affection, intimacy, and sexuality diminishes towards her husband.
Now, there are certainly other reasons why a wife stopped being sexual with her husband…but the preceding are five very common reasons.
The good news is that the odds are extremely high…as in greater than 95%…that a husband can turn his wife’s affection, intimacy, and sexual desire back on towards him…no matter what her reason for turning off towards him.
To be more specific…
If you are a husband whose wife stopped being sexual, then the odds are extremely high that you can get back that sexual woman you had when you first married.
How do you do this?
You do it by developing yourself into a man who knows how to invoke the feelings within your wife that CAUSE her to feel turn-on and desire towards…and as you CAUSE her to feel these feelings of turn-on and desire towards you, she can’t help but be more affectionate, intimate, and sexual with you.
Copyright 2018 by Calle Zorro