Over this past week, a lot of guys were sexually rejected by their wife or lady as they heard her say, “I’m too tired.” or, “I’m not in the mood.” or, “Is sex all you ever think about?”
Maybe you’ve already tried helping out more around the house. Maybe you’re already paying all the bills. Maybe you’ve showered her with gifts. And still, the situation is getting worse.
If you can relate, then take a look at these seven tips to getting more sex…
1. Your wife needs a love story…I don’t care if it’s a movie a romance novel, or you making up a story and telling it to her…she needs for you to provide her with a love story so that she can access that intimate and sexual part of herself – and be able to share it with you.
2. Fellows, you wife needs variety – something different from the normal, every-day run-of-the-mill sameness to spark her up. And yes, you might think that she should be able to supply this spark on her own but she can’t. You’re the catalyst that’s to provide her with the spark she needs. If she didn’t need you to spark her up, then she wouldn’t need you now would she? If your wife describes her life as “Always the same…nothing different…same, same, same…boring, boring, boring…monotonous, monotonous, monotonous…” then I can reliably predict that you have a mostly sexless marriage or relationship.
3. Guys, when it comes time for intimacy, slow down, relax, pace yourself – take control of yourself so you can take care of your woman. Most women complain that their husband just grabs, gropes, pokes, and pulls for a few seconds and then he’s ready to “jump in”. Guys, here’s what I want you to do…reflect back to a time when you were in a really bad mood and recall how long it took you to transition out of that bad mood into a good mood. If you’re anything like the normal man, it usually takes at least an overnight sleep off to shift out of the bad mood. Even if it doesn’t take you this long, it definitely takes you more than a few seconds to shift moods. Guess what? It’s exactly the same for your lady. She needs TIME in order to shift her mood from non-sexual to sexual and if you don’t give her this time, the experience is completely irritating and frustrating for her – just like it is for you when someone asks you to smile and be happy when you’re in a bad mood. In simple terms, the fast track to sex is just NOT SEXY to most women.
4. How do you do the “slow down” I described in the previous step? You do it by shifting the focus from you going to her to her coming to you. How do you do that? First, you make sure your body and mouth is clean and fresh and that you’re fully dressed. Second, make sure the timing is right. If she’s in the middle of something, if she’s about to start something then the timing is wrong. Far too many guys want sex and they don’t get it simply because they pick a bad time to initiate it. Assuming these bases are covered, you walk up to your lady – and you KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER. Let only your lips touch hers…kiss her…lightly…slowly…just your lips…continue keeping your hands off of her…let a little moan of pleasure come from inside you just to let her know that you find it pleasurable kissing her…continue kissing her slowly and lightly…your lips just barely brushing hers…and you keep doing this and nothing else. Eventually, she’s going to respond in some way…maybe she’ll put her hands on you…maybe she’ll try to put your hands on her…maybe she’ll initiate a more intimate form of kissing by giving you her tongue. Whatever it is, you give her that for just a few seconds and then you pull back and go back to nothing more than the light lips touching and brushing and then give it back to her for a few seconds and then pull back again. In a woman’s mind, this is one of the hottest things a guy can do is slowly and sensually tease her. You’ll find out that this is true for yourself in that your lady will begin to become more and more aggressive, sexual, and direct in her touch. That’s excellent…you just let her keep on coming to you…keep letting her ratchet things upward while you provide the “resistance” by going with her for a few seconds and then pulling back slightly by going back to the previous “level”. Pretty soon, she’ll be a woman whose sexual flame is aglow.
5. When it comes to getting more sex, ignore all that nonsense about flowers and dinners and buying things for your lady. This kind of “romance” is NOT going to put your lady in the mood. Actually, it’s going to squelch her mood even more because it’s exerting more pressure on her – the wrong kind of pressure. It’s wrong because it’s seen as you trying to butter her up for sex – you trying to motivate her to have sex. She’ll know the things you’ve bought her are because you’re wanting “something” and not because you have an overpowering need to express your love for her. And she, like most anybody, will withdraw when she sees a person being extra “nice” for no apparent reason.
6. Considered from another perspective, why would you “reward” your lady for “bad” behaviour? Why would you buy her flowers and dinners and other things when she hasn’t “put out”? This may sound a bit crass, but you should seriously consider this point…both you and your wife would feel better about money being spent AFTER the two of you have had a wonderful time of intimacy and sexual expression. In this model of buying AFTERWARDS, you’re genuinely able to express your true love and she’s being rewarded for her “good” behaviour which means she’ll be more inclined to be intimate again. When you buy things AFTERWARDS, you’re able to genuinely express love and you’re not trying to “get” something.
7. Sometimes, you can help other people snap out of their undesirable behaviours when you present their behaviour back to them in an unusual way that causes them to see themselves in a new light. So for example, at a strategic moment, you might say something like the following to your lady when she’s resisting sex, “It seems rather odd to me that you argue yourself out of a good time???” Or, you might say something like, “Does it ever strike you as strange or bizarre that you often “excuse” yourself out of the very romance and intimacy that you want???” In a nutshell, what you’re doing is presenting a person with the notion that THEY are BLOCKING the very thing that they are wanting – and if presented in the right way at the right time – you can have a very powerful effect on them. Often, it’s the very thing that’s need to “shock them” and “wake them up” and get them to “snap out of” their undesirable behaviours.
Often, men try to “withhold” sex and intimacy from their lady as a “strategy” to get her to become more sexual. Well, if you haven’t already found out for yourself, this strategy doesn’t work. Not only does it not work, it BACKFIRES on a man. Specifically, because the man isn’t initiating sex, he empowers and enables his lady to further ignore and suppress her sex drive. The result is a maddening transition from infrequent sex to bad sex to no sex – which isn’t exactly the direction a man wants his sex-life to take. Here’s the GOOD NEWS…there are strategies that DO WORK! There are strategies that will cause a woman to become very sexual…
Copyright 2008 by Calle Zorro