Married And Happy Discussion Forum - All Forums

Giving honor where honor is due...

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:09:19 -0700

If what I'm about to say is a little too mushy or cheesy for you...well, then you can just skip this post.

If what I'm about to say doesn't make sense to you, just know it's meant to be a huge compliment to each and every person on this forum...regardless of what their current situation is with their wife.

Sometimes, I feel like David in the Bible (the one who slew Goliath)...a great man in his own right...and who was surrounded by MIGHTY MEN OF VALOR who were just as great...men who were also giant killers...men who also slew lions and bears...men who also won big battles and scored mighty victories.

And no, I don't think any of us are having problems with giants, lions, or bears at the moment...but the men in this forum ARE winning battle after battle as they become a MAN OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. The men in this forum are of the highest quality and caliber...men who make the world a FAR BETTER...and happier place.

Here, there are men who are scoring mighty victories in the realm of their marriage relationship. And yes, there are those cases where circumstances went (or are going) in a different direction from what was originally hoped...but it always has led (and always will lead) to far better circumstances.

Gentlemen, if you could talk to my heart, here is what it would tell you...

"I'm PROUD of every one of you. I'm proud of the progress each one of you has made. I am EXCITED about the good that the future holds for each one of you. I count it a honor of the highest order to be in your midst. The men here hail from all over the world...and yet, I sincerely believe you'll look a long, long time before you find a closer, more caring, more supportive group of COMPADRES. I ADMIRE the integrity in each of you...your desire to learn...your willingness to apply...your courage to go forward. I salute each one of you...I pray God's best blessings be upon each one of you."

Erection Issues : Erectile Dysfunction : ED

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:11:12 -0700

Quote:I had some erection issues last night for the first time in a long time. ... I am also hoping my mind isn't getting bored by my wifes naked body. I think my mind may be used to being stimulated by lots of different women (thru my previous use of porn) and the excitement also came from the forbidden or the naughtiness of it. And a couple times while doing it my mind wanted to go to previous images id seen, but I forced them away, wanting only to be with her. How do I overcome this? I want to be mesmerized by my wifes body only and be hard as a rock everytime for her alone!

This is a guilt / belief issue. It's sort of like the person who's been taught that masturbating is bad / evil and if they masturbate, they'll never be able to have sex properly. And of course, when they are alone, their need for sexual release is so great that they end up masturbating...but then, when they have a wife, their body / mind fails them because they are stuck in the guilt of masturbating when they were alone and the belief that they won't be able to have sex...and that becomes their reality.
In like fashion, if a person is holding on to guilt over having looked at porn...and holding onto a belief that because they've looked at porn, they won't be able to appreciate their wife's body / lovemaking...well, that will become their reality too.

The fact is, the love, joy, and pleasure that you can have with your wife is FAR beyond any pleasure a person can derive from watching porn IF you become the kind of man who operates as I teach in my books.

My Story

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:58:51 -0700

It seems to be the protocol here to introduce yourself by describing how you ended up here. So this is my story:

I have been married almost 10 years and have two small children (5 and 3). Before we got married I persued my wife very intently and it took some time for her to come around. She had fallen hard for a friend of mine a few months before we started dating and seemed to harbor feelings for him long after we got together. I was dumped twice before we finally settled into a steady relationship and then got engaged. Looking back, I can see that I came into the relationship with a lot of personal insecurities. I felt that my wife had "settled" for me in the absence of someone better (ie. my friend).

The first few years of marriage went pretty smoothly. She moved from her parent's house into my apartment with me and then we bought a house together. During those first few years we had frequent sex, but even then I think she was mostly doing it for my sake. Then we reached the point where we wanted to start a family and after six months of trying she got pregnant ... and my sex life totally dissappeared. I read up on the subject and convinced myself that the sex drought would end six weeks after the baby was born when the doctor gave us the OK. However, six weeks came and went and my wife still had no interest in sex. Then 3 months passed, then 6 months passed ... then a year passed and I was still coming up empty on the sex issue. At about the 10 month point I lost my patience and blew up at my wife. That was the first time in our marriage that I ever made her cry. I basically told her that I could not be in a marriage that did not involve sex and then left her to think about it while I stormed out. I was essentially using the "First Law" as Calle described it in his book Nymphomaniac Wife. And it worked exactly as he said. The short term result was that I got sex. The long term result was that I damaged our marriage.

Over the next few months I periodically called on the First Law to get some intimacy, but it was obvious to me that I was just getting sympathy sex and that made me angry. I could not understand why my wife had completely lost interest in sex. All of my old insecurities came bubbling up. I imagined that she no longer needed me. I imagined that our sex life was over. Every few weeks the frustration would boil over and we would have another argument. She told me much later that she was certain that I was going to walk out on her and leave her as a single mom. However, as time went by the issue seemed to subside and we slowly fell back into having sex on a regular basis again. She even initiated some times, but I think it was just her way of trying to keep the family together. We then decided to have a second child.

By this point I was already feeling that I handled the whole thing very badly and I resolved to be a better husband. However, sex was still a sore point for me and despite my best intentions, we had a couple of arguments about sex in the months after our second child was born. When our second was about a year old I started having thoughts about an affair. I did not have any particular person in mind, it was just a fantasy that was appealing to me. I created this perfect woman in my mind whose only goal in life was to make me happy. I wished that my wife would be like that. Then I got a huge bucket of cold water thrown on me when a friend walked out on his family. He announced that he had been cheating on his wife for six months, and he was in love with his mistress and wanted to be with her instead. It totally devastated his wife and kids. For the record, he ended up drinking himself stupid and losing both his mistress and his job within a year. It was like he hit the self destruct button and blew himself (and his family) to pieces.

After that I threw out any thoughts of an affair and decided to work on fixing my marriage instead. I went down to the book store and started browsing relationship books. Over the next year I devoured everything I could find on the subject and probably spent over $200. Most of the books had some good advice that I took away. I learned early on that my selfish, childish behavior was the cause of most of my marriage problems. I learned that instead of trying to change my wife, I needed to change myself and then wait for her to follow my lead. I learned a lot about sexual techniques However, none of the books seemed to be a complete solution. I worked hard at being a good listener. I worked hard at giving my wife lots of affection and gratitude. I put aside lots of time to spend with her doing things that were fun for her. However, none of this seemed to get me more sex. I had become a great friend, room mate and parenting partner for her, but not the great lover that I wanted to be.

I stumbled onto Calle's books while doing a web search for how to seduce your wife. I bought the Sexual Marriage book, and quickly concluded that I was already doing 80% of what the book suggested. However, that book did bring attention to some of the ways in which I was undermining my own masculinity. When my wife got angry or snippy with me I tended to say or do things to placate her so that the moment would pass and we could get back to being happy. I have changed that behavior. Now when my wife talks down to me I make it clear that this is not the way to get through to me. It didn't take long before she stopped issuing orders and started asking nicely for things. Also, when my wife gives me valid feedback (in a nice way) I try hard to follow through and fix the problem. This has led to less nagging. In any case, the book convinced me that I was already on the right track and just needed to make some minor changes.

The real pay dirt for me came from reading the book "How to be the best lover your wife ever had". I chuckled when I bought it because I know that I am the ONLY lover my wife ever had, but I would still like to be a better lover. I already knew from reading other books that foreplay was very important for women, but I always thought it was just that their bodies needed time to warm up so that they could have good intercourse. Now I understand that good foreplay is part of the emotional package that my wife needs in order to feel that sex was a satisfying experience. The last time my wife and I had sex I threw myself into the task of creating a good package for her. I spent a good long time making love to every inch of her and when we got to the intercourse she orgasmed in record time. She told me a couple of days later that it was the best sex we have ever had. I still need to work on how to help her enjoy the "after glow" part. I think it is important for us to connect deeply after sex so that she will crave that time in the future.

I feel that I am now at the start of a wonderful adventure. Our kids are still small, so sex is not going to be frequent for the next while, but I now have the tools to ensure that when I do get the oppurtunity I can make sex a wonderful experience for her. I have seen that it works and now I just need to be patient and wait for the effect to build up. Once we have established a pattern that sex is really satisfying for her every time it happens, I have faith that she will start seeking it out more often. In the meantime, I understand that she is exhausted every night from being a stay at home mom and I am trying hard to be patient and keep taking care of her needs even if I am not getting the "pay out" as often as I would like. The fact that my wife cannot walk past me without giving me a hug or a kiss these days shows that I have been successful in making our relationship safe and happy for her again. As long as I keep doing what I am doing the rest will follow in time.

As an aside, I would like to mention that I used to have a problem with premature ejaculation and I was certain that this was why my wife avoided having sex with me. I have since come to realize that my premature ejaculation was caused by the fact that I tended to get too wound up about sex. My performance anxiety was causing me to have performance issues. Now that sex has become much more relaxed for us the performance issues have gone away. With good foreplay I ensure that my wife is really ready for sex before I go in, then I just relax and enjoy the experience and I can last way longer than I used to. The brain truly is the most important sex organ.

Getting good results...

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:27:16 -0700

A person is always free to make their own choices...and take their own desired actions...and get the corresponding results.

Those guys who get the best results in their marriage are the one who put diligent effort in reading and re-reading my eBooks so that they absorb and internalize the concepts so that they can demonstrate, exhibit, and express those concepts naturally in their interactions with their wife.

Those guys who get the poorest results are those who skim through the eBooks once...pick out one or two things...try it...in an awkward way...because they aren't really prepared...and they get undesirable results.

Throughout all time, discipline, diligence, study, preparation, and application have been the hallmark traits of people who get the best results in life.

Here's a useful website...

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:10:13 -0700

Here's a useful website: http://www.givecoupons.com/

I suggest printing out a bunch of the relevant coupons and giving them away at appropriate times.

My wife is responding

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 20:14:20 -0700

For all you Men that arent sure about these books. This is for real. After 28 years of marriage and 18 months of pure hell with zero sex. I read these books.
In the last three week's. I have went from being in handcuff's to her asking me if I wanted sex. I thought this was the coldest woman on the face of the earth and it was completly over. Thanks to Calle's books thing's are looking up. We have a long way too go. But it's a start that I never thought was possible.

Thank you Calle.

Rick J

Am I on the right track????

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:28:09 -0700

Greetings and hello to all,
My story is similar to most here so I'll spare the gory details for now. Quick summary, Married for 13yrs with 3 kids, my wife has supported me through a few career ups and downs over the years with out a complaint. I knew something was "not quite right" this year (and had asked what was wrong with no answer) then in the end of Sept she dropped the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" on me after I dragged her out for a talk because she was acting very short and abrupt with me. I now know what I was doing wrong after going over the books. We had few talks here and there since then and she has suggested that we won't separate right away but it will take a long time to see if there is any desire to stay. At first I did all the wrong things. Now we are polite to each other daily and I have made some radical changes in my behavior but her terms are killing me!
At first I tried to pay more attention (holding hands, a nice hug, etc) but now she has informed me that it makes her uncomfortable, so I have stopped. the only physical contact that I receive from her is a very quick kiss good night. I'm stepping up and doing a lot of the things she had complained about plus more and actually enjoying them.
I should mention that she is turning 40 next year and I think she has fallen into the mid life crises stage with the way I'd been acting for a while. Now with Christmas around the corner, I'm worried the extra stress isn't going to be good. What I need is a ice breaker to start some mutual communication since any thing I suggest ( dinner, quick coffee, go for a walk) is met with a cool "No".
Anyone?

I'm attractive but my wife's not attracted to me. Why?

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:04:15 -0700

Quote:My wife doesn't seem to be attracted to me. I think I'm a decent looking guy...I'm for sure not ugly. What do you think is going on?

This man's question shows a fundamental lack of understanding about women. For the most part, a woman cares about how a man looks the first time she meets him and for about 30 seconds thereafter...just long enough to decide whether he's "cute" or not and long enough to consider how she would look standing beside him...that is, how other people she knows would judge her if she was standing beside this guy.

After that 30 seconds or so, what a woman cares most about is how that man makes her feel about herself when she's around him.

If he thinks, behaves, and operates in a way that causes her to feel great about herself in relation to him, then she is "attracted" to him. If he doesn't, then she feels NO attraction for him.

Now, the problem is, many a young lady has "thought" she was attracted to a young man all the way up until just AFTER they got married. The reality is that the young lady was attracted to a "fantasy" that she had going on in her head and nothing was able to shake her loose from that fantasy except the hard, cold reality of marriage.

After the young lady offered up her so-called vows, THEN she decided to look at who and what the young man she married really was...and what she saw didn't impress her...and in fact, the way he operated turned her completely off.

This explains why so many guys get married...thinking they are going to be married forever...only to watch their wife start drifting away from them shortly thereafter...and the guy is wondering how she could have been so "in love" with him before...and now, even though he hasn't changed at all...she can't stand him...and soon enough, he's standing on the steps of the courthouse with a brand-new divorce decree...and he's scratching his head and wondering what happened.

At least that's what happens to those guys who don't take the personal initiative to learn the kinds of things I teach here at MarriedAndHappy.com

Manipulative / Abusive Wife?

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:55:30 -0700

Does your wife use and apply negative manipulation to gain power over you?

Does she try to dominate and get her way by making you feel guilty, miserable, stupid or "little"?

Does she position herself on a moral mountaintop from whence she points out your faults and shortcomings?

Does she say you disappoint her and fail to fulfill her?

Does she self-righteously portray herself as "good" and you as a "bad"?

My fellow man, it's time for you to STOP putting up with this. It's time for you to STOP trying to work this out by being nice. It's time for you to STOP rolling over and letting her "kick" you again. It's time for you to STOP being afraid of this woman who may never care for anyone besides herself.

The fact is, an abusive woman will continue being abusive as long as you put up with it. Until YOU say "No More!" she's going to keep on dishing out her abuse in bigger and bigger quantities. She'll find ways to trample on you even more. She'll find even more ways to hurt you. Nothing will satisfy her short of ripping your heart out.

But, if you'll stand up for yourself, then JUST MAYBE you'll give her a reason to wake up and realize she needs to start caring, respecting, and loving you.

Any advice for an independent woman with a high sex drive?

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:07:55 -0700

Quote:I'm curious to know if you have advice for an independent woman with an exceptional sex drive that somehow ends up in relationships where I feel like the man waiting on a woman to get onboard. The only needs I can't meet for myself are sex and intimacy...that being said, maybe I just don't know how to function in a relationship that lacks communication, intimacy, sex, and passion.

There is a lot I don't know about you and your situation but based on the things you say above, I suggest you get more in tune with your feminine side and let THAT part of you shine a little more brightly.

In every person there is both a feminine and a masculine part. Generally, in men the masculine part is the dominant part and in women the feminine part is dominant.

However, this can sometimes inadvertently get out of kilter. Sometimes it's conditioning...how a person was raised...the kind of dad or mom they had. Sometimes, "bad" experiences cause a person to really escalate and emphasize the "wrong" part.

Here's what this all means...very few men want to be married to a strong, independent, solo-oriented, self-directed "man". A woman may have the body parts of a female but if her demeanor, attitude, and behavior are that of a "man" then she WILL continue to run into problems in her relationships with men.

Moreover, many men have confidence, security, and self-esteem issues – particularly in the area of sex – regardless of whatever external braggadocio they may exhibit – and this further augments the reason why a strong, confident, independent woman will have trouble in her relationships with men.

So, I suggest "softening" up a little bit...be a little more "girly"...be a little more loving and accepting...don't be quite so intimidating...be more flexible...let other people be themselves...let your man be himself...don't be so competitive...don't turn everything into a performance to be judged for its quality and excellence...lighten up...be a little more fun to be around...turn to God...pray for your relationship...pray for God to help you to become what you need to be...pray for God to help your man become the kind of man he needs to become...and I believe you'll find things begin to work better and better in your relationship.

And, should your current relationship come to an end in spite of your prayers and best efforts, then stay turned to God...if you've done your best and your man still leaves, then that just means God has something better for you. This time, pray for God to send you the RIGHT man...a man who has plenty of confidence, security, and self-esteem. You'll probably have to wait a little while but it will be well worth it. (I myself had to wait 5 years for God to bring me the right woman – and it was well worth the wait because now I get to enjoy her for the rest of my life.)

Even with a very confident man, there is still a very real danger. Experience has shown me that typically a man and a woman who are alike in this regard – highly confident and independent – will simply lead unhappy "individual" lives...he's doing his independent thing and she's doing hers...and there's not much happiness in that. So, regardless of what kind of man you have (or God gives you), it STILL goes back to doing things like I suggest in the above paragraph.

Already Divorced

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:58:13 -0700

I was officially divorced on January 20, 2009. Since then my wife has only wanted contact by e-mail, and then gives only vague answers to my questions. Her heart is cold, she has never really come out and said why she wanted this divorce, except for telling me "I never do what I say I'm going to do."
Background : We were married 10 years ago. She was 39, I was 40. We both waited until we "found the right person." We are both Christians, and always held to the ideals of "NOT" getting divorced. EVER. Six years ago (1 1/2 years after our son was born, she went into what turned out to be a very tumultuous menopause. This were very tough and always surprising each day, not knowing who I would find the next day, physically or emotionally. She told me several times she just wanted to quit our jobs and move back close to her parents in Wisconsin. She needed help and support. I agreed we would do all we could through my job to get a new territory in Wisc., but I felt I should keep my job, especially in this economy. She instigated an arguement one night by pushing me, slapping me and grabbing my arms so hard they were bruised the next day. She asked me "you want to hit me right now don't you?" multiple times, but I kept insisting to her that I would never hit her. She hit me on the arms, and pushed me so many times, I finally help her down on the couch, told her to stop it and got up and walked up the steps to go outside. She followed me up the steps and slapped my hat off my head and turned to walk away. I put my hand on her shoulder to ask her why, and she slumped to the floor and closed her eyes in a fetal position. I saw what she was doing (she is a Masters Social Worker.)
Ever since nothing has been right. Cold silence. Once in awhile glimmers of hope and love making. When my territory had us move to Northern Michigan (not wisconsin) things got steadily worse.
Her Aunt died in Jan. 09', my Aunt died in March 09', we were packing to move in April and my Mom died April 17th. We then moved in May.
At the end of June 09' while I was working and she was with her family at a family reunion (Iwas on the way to meet her), we found out that her 52 year old brother had died.
I guess not many people can handle that amount of stress. But I could!
Well, we decided to go to counseling in Jan.08'. On "my" 3rd session she wanted to sit in and said she had made up her mind, she wanted a divorce, and was leaving with my 7 year old son 8 hours away to live with parents in southern Wisconsin. Obviously I was shell shocked.
We always talked as Christian spouses and parents, that this would never be us. What the "Bleep" happened.
I could go on and on, but I still love my wife. I seriously ment it when I said "In sickness and in health - In good times and bad, etc.,etc.
How do you win back the heart of the woman you love, if she's divorced you, won't speak to you, and has told her Lutheran Pastor Father (and mother, and sister and brother) that she just had to get away because I was beating her for 8 years and cheating on her????
I've never even thought of those kinds of things.

I'd appreciate any help that may be out there.
LarryB

Thank you, and congrats

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:36:16 -0700

Calle,

I would like to thank you for the work you have done. I feel in today's society "how to be a man" is lost between school and the family. "How to be a man" seems to be what most women want, and what ends up being lost within relationships. I can see this being the main area of fault in our relationship.

I would encourage anyone starting a new relationship to learn from their woman what she expects in her man. Don't criticize her for her needs, but make it sort of a playful negotiation, it should be light-hearted, determining what you want from each other, and what you will do for each other.

Second, I would like to give congrats to you for surprising me. I was quite surprised at you being (I am assuming) a christian(ish faith). I would not have guessed that by what you are promoting. But then again, what you're really promoting is that men step up to be what men are supposed to be in their relationships. Promoting this concept as returning a marriage's sexuality definitely works.

As I continue to work through the material I've already purchased, I will be happy to contribute to these forums, and promote your products. I feel what you are trying to do here is vary important in todays society.

Thanks again for your work here.
Kremnari

Can you help my husband "get it"?

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 08:05:19 -0700

Quote:I am a wife looking for information that would help my husband to be more loving, affectionate, satisfying, seductive and passionate. I want him to know what works for me as a woman –- as well as what doesn't work and why. I want him to know how to please and satisfy me as a wife within clean, Christian bounds.

Hi "Wife",

There are three eBooks that I most suggest for your situation -- based on what you are wanting. They are:

1. "How To Turn Your Wife Into A Nymphomaniac"
2. "A Wife's Letter of Secrets"
3. "How To Be The Best Lover Your Wife's Ever Had".

Now, don't be put-off by the titles of these eBooks because if your husband will study and apply the contents of these three eBooks, you will be a very, Very, VERY happy woman.

If you are wanting to help your husband "get it" so that the two of you can have a happier, more satisfying marriage, these three eBooks contain the information you're looking for.

And, just so you know, these eBooks go way beyond the "trite, canned" suggestions of:

* Be nice to your wife
* Take her to dinner
* Buy her flowers
* Become a better communicator
* Make "love" deposits
* Etc.

You're husband already knows all of that. He needs something more specific and detailed and that's what these three eBooks will give him.

Now, once you've bought these three eBooks you then need to make sure you get the return on your investment that you're looking for. Here's how you do that...

Probably, you were raised up like most women to NOT be direct with a man. That is a "training" that you must absolutely get rid of. You should always be loving, appreciative of the good, and respectful towards your husband AND you should be direct with him.

So, just getting the above three eBooks and "hoping" that he'll get the "hint" and read it is a strategy that RARELY works. A strategy that's much more successful is to find a time when your husband is NOT in the middle of something and then make sure your attitude (and face) is warm, friendly, and pleasant and your voice is "sweet" and directly tell your husband something like...

"Husband, I love you, I appreciate all that you do, and I'm glad that I'm married to you. And, it's important to me that I have a happy, fulfilling, satisfying, and intimate marriage relationship. I also believe that's important to you as well and I WANT US to have that kind of marriage. And, for that to happen, I realize that there are things YOU need to know about me. However, I'm like most women...I'm not very good at articulating what it is that I want in a way that makes sense to a man. I can FEEL when what I want is in my experience but I'm not very good at explaining what it is that I want. And, if I can't tell you what I want very well, then you can't very well give it to me. But, there is this Calle Zorro guy who has "translated" what women want into language that makes sense to a man -- and the result is that men learn how to do the things that cause a woman to want to be way more sexual and women get a husband that really knows how to meet their needs -- it's a win-win. I've bought three of this guys eBooks. I don't know if we'll agree with everything that this Calle guy says but I AM DIRECTLY ASKING YOU TO READ THESE EBOOKS I'VE BOUGHT...I WANT YOU TO READ THEM THIS WEEK and you can read them by yourself or we can read them together...whichever way you're more comfortable with...so that we can BOTH enjoy our marriage to the fullest. This is something I want you to do for US. I'm not hinting, I'm not suggesting, I WANT you to do this for us, ok?"

Now, that will probably be the hardest few words you've ever had to say to your husband and they will probably be the most effective you've ever said.

However, once may not be enough. You may have to DRIVE your husband with multiple prompts. Here's how you do that in the "right" way...

"Husband, I WANT US to have the happy, satisfying, fulfilling, intimate marriage that we BOTH want. I am CONFIDENT that the eBooks I bought will help US in a significant way. It IS important to ME that YOU READ these eBooks so that WE can benefit from them. And, I want you to understand...I'm NOT nagging, whining, or complaining! Rather, I AM following up on my request that you read these eBooks right away. How SOON will you be able to begin reading them?"

Whatever your husband's answer is, you then respond with, "Excellent! I'm looking forward to our marriage becoming even better and better. Should I follow up with you at that point?"

In greater than 90% of all marriages, this is all a woman needs to do to "help" her husband become the kind of husband she wants.

And, she can get the three eBooks I mentioned above here: http://www.MarriedAndHappy.com/Catalog

Want to celebrate Women's Friendship Month with me?

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 18:09:09 -0700

In honor of Women's Friendship Month, I will donate 15% of the profits for every copy of my book-- "A Wife's Guide to In-laws"-- sold on Thursday, September 24, 2009 to Women for Women International. (My book is available at Amazon.com, WifeGuide.org, etc.)

ABOUT MY BOOK: "A Wife's Guide to In-laws" equips wives to have a great marriage even if their in-laws aren't so great. I've received positive endorsements from best-selling authors, marriage counselors,
Hitched Magazine, Power Women Magazine, Mom Magazine, etc. For more information, please visit http://www.WifeGuide.org.

ABOUT THE CHARITY: Women for Women International provides women survivors of war with the resources to move from crisis and poverty to stability and self-sufficiency. Through sponsorship programs, survivors (1) receive financial aid for food, water, and medicine, (2) get the tools and training they need to provide food for themselves and their children. For more information, visit WomenForWomen.org.

SUCCESS STORY

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 05:57:06 -0700

All of us on this forum have a couple things in common. We love our wives or we wouldnt' be here trying to make our relationships better, and we want more fulfilling bedroom experiences.

Well let me just say that the angle Calle has taken in the "How To Create a More Sexual Marriage" ebook is starting to actually work!

I've only been at it about 1-2 weeks now but I'm realizing that I really do love spending time with my wife. I always had a score card like how many days without i've gone and then trying to smooth my way (or manipulate) into her panties. WEll though it worked ever 3-5 days there were times i'd have to accept sympathy sex because my wife appreciated my effort but didnt' respect my "game".

Now i'm not playing a game, i'm just looking at her different, in a respectful loving way. I see now that i should get sex from her loving and respecting me not as payment.

So last night I told her directly my expections after a couple weeks of true honest effort and I stated this almost exactly """Sweetie, in order for me to feel emotionally fulfilled and comfortable I need sex at least 3,4 times a week. I don't expect you to sleep with me because I'm horny but because you love me and respect me and want to fulfill my needs".

her answer was startling, anytime previously i brought up conversations to improve my frequency were combatted with words like ok ok, can we quit talking about it now? etc. etc......

Only this time she looked at me and said "thank you I appreciate that.........and then followed it up with i'm going to have sex with you everyday this week, well except wednesday because i'm going out to dinner with abc123xxxx"

I don't want to jump the gun because it hasn't happened yet but this was a great sign, she has never said anything like that to me in years if ever. Also I have been telling her how sexy and beautiful a woman is during her period in that its natural and beautiful and elaborated a little more and this was usually her "me time" her silver bullet excuse for me having to leave her alone where as now i'm hoping she won't need that because I won't be bugging her

Thank you Calle for all your hard work, if there are any other books on meeting a woman's emotional needs let me know what they are. I am applying your teachings and its working. This is great knowledge, men are never taught these skills, we're taught how to manipulate, dominate, and fool ourselves into thinking we're smarter then we are so we can manipulate for what we want. But really, none of that works – but what you teach in your ebook does.

Stay tuned, i'll send a follow up if this week is what she suggested. it may take a few more weeks or months to really get there but it sure would be amazing if it worked this quickly.

ANNIVERSARY

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 06:47:28 -0700

So, maby this is not the place, if so Calle I apoligize, however, I figure many guys here have been where I am before and maby I can get a little advise.

Our anniversary (6th) is coming up on Sunday. We will be on our family vacation to the beach that week. I would like to make at least one romantic night after the kids have gone to sleep. I have some candles, I figure that I will make us a nice dinner, and champagne after. I am going to buy one of those digital photo frames and put photos of us and some of us with the kids on there, in addition I am making her a CD of romantic songs so we can listen to it while we have dinner, or just drinks, whatever happens.

This is all good I would say, but I want to make shure to keep my masculinity alive all the time and not seem like I'm kissing up to her or acting needy, but I do want the night to end up with some good love making as well as sex throughout the week.

I have not been pushing the sex issue over the past few weeks, and we have had sex several times, good, although nothing special. I know that we are still in the repair stages of out marriage and I am really concentrating on meeting her needs and having good conversations with her, seems as if conversation in so boring sometimes its like we have nothing to talk about anymore so I'm kinda dreading a whole week of just us - thats horrible I know.But still I want her to let me rock her world so she will remember that we are passionate and physical people, but it takes two to make this happen and it seems like she just wasnts this one positoin that real y benifits her orgasams, she rarely lets me give her good foreplay (i.e. oral pleasure) but I know she likes it!

What is the best way to LEAD her to a passionate lovemaking session in a manly non needy way? Does anyone know what I mean?

Also, If anyone has any anniversary ideas that have work[/font]ed for you in the past PLEASE let me know!

Thanks guys.

and better yet, I know some of you have these tales - WHAT TO AVOID DOING THAT WILL RUIN EVERYTHING!

It usually happens between the 15th and 20th year of marriage...

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 11:28:13 -0700

It's not at all uncommon for a woman to begin having questions about "life" somewhere around 35 to 40 -- usually between her 15th and 20th year of marriage.

That's why people who made it past the first year or two of marriage end up divorcing after all this time.

During this time, a woman will begin to struggle with the multi-faceted questions of what is her meaning in life, what is her purpose in life, what is her value in life, what is her ENJOYMENT in life???

She'll begin to question what it is that she's GETTING in life compared to all that she's giving.

She'll begin to question what all she's missed out on because of the choices she's made.

When this time comes, it's especially important that a man continue doing the things I talk about in the "Nymphomaniac Wife" eBook AND that he maintains his masculinity like I talk about in the "Sexual Marriage" and "Wife Seducer" eBooks so that as his wife is asking herself these questions, she can DISCOVER that her man was a good choice – and in fact, he was the best choice she could have possibly made.

And, a man should definitely be compassionate and flexible and giving during this time because his wife will do the same for him at a different stage in life.

Got In-law Problems?

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:51:32 -0700

In-law problems are among the top reasons for divorce. You can conquer this marriage obstacle!! The key is to gain your husband's loyalty so you can unite as a couple to deal with difficult in-laws. This has been the biggest challenge in my marriage, but I'm happy to say that I finally learned how to gain my husband's loyalty. Now my in-laws are no longer a threat to my marriage. It's true what they say, sometimes the "better" comes after the "worse." If you struggle with difficult in-laws in your marriage, I encourage you to visit my website at http://www.WifeGuide.org.

What do men want?

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 10:49:47 -0700

I see a lot about the needs of wives on this forum.

I'm curious about what a husband's needs are?

I'm also curious about what a wife does or does not do that lets a husband know his needs needs are met?

Just in case I'm not being clear, what are a man's needs and how does a man know when those needs are being met?

Premature Ejaculation

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:51:52 -0700

I am new to this forum and would like to throw open the problem my wife and I face in our relationship. We love each other, have been married 16 years and have two pre teen kids. Recently an older couple were out visiting us and asked us about our marriage. How would we score our marriage, they asked. My wife gave it 8 out of 10. Later my wife and I were discussing this and she shared it was in our sexual journey that she is not fulfilled. We have known this for years.

The issue is that I reach climax very very quickly (less than 2 minutes) which leaves my wife high and dry. We have tried pinch methods, thinking about the rubbish ... but I feel unable to control myself. I am aware it is more to do with my mind than anything and there are issues of fear of dissappointing her, which were there from the beginning of our marriage.

I have read a couple of Calle Zorro's books 'Best Lover' and 'Wife Dating' and am see the need to be energetic and creative about dating, experiences and seducing her. A current concern is we could get to better experiences but when it comes to intercourse leave her dissappointed.

Can anyone throw light on the way forward for us. Thanks