New forum??? Connect locally??? Vote here

[CalleZorro]

A couple of requests have been raised...

1. "I'd be interested in a new forum where guys could talk about their wives behavior and get insight into what might be behind it, giving them ideas about how to address it."

2. "Are there any guys who would like to get together in their local area, guys with common goals and motives, whether it be for mutual support or activities for guys?"

[Tex]

(04-22-2009 05:19 PM)CalleZorro Wrote:  A couple of requests have been raised...

1. "I'd be interested in a new forum where guys could talk about their wives behavior and get insight into what might be behind it, giving them ideas about how to address it."

2. "Are there any guys who would like to get together in their local area, guys with common goals and motives, whether it be for mutual support or activities for guys?"

YES! Calle, as a man, it begins to become very difficult to have good mutual circles. 99% of my friends have children, jobs, etc that make getting together for quality man time tough. When I was in college it was no problem but now.. Well. We all have our things we have to do. It becomes difficult to find man time and even more difficult to make new friends. Old friends slip off the radar, and new ones don't come along and the next thing you know...

Furthermore, I don't really like to socialize with my fellow workers. Not that they are not great people but I need ESCAPE from work. So....

So, yes. My only recommendation is that it be labeled something a little unthreatening such as Married Men Networking, or Married and Happy Networking.. Try not to make it something like Sexless Marriage Get-together (for obvious reasons!)

[JourneyToMyBest]

I agree. To me it's hard to find guys with an interest in the same character building activities. Activities that help you become the man all of us are trying to become. If a guy is in a crappy marriage and not interested in activities that make him attractive to his wife there's not a lot of interest from me in hanging out with them. I've felt that getting out and getting involved in some positive respectable activities would help make me seem independent and driven to my wife. Going to happy hour isn't going to do this. In fact I had a client call me this morning and ask me to go to happy hour. I told him that late afternoon and evening tended to be family time at my house and if there weren't activities to go to there was home work and just fun stuff to be doing with the whole family. I told him lunch would work or a cup of coffee. Of course I made sure my wife heard this. After the call I told her that I thought happy hour was for singles trying to meet someone and that this guy was always talking about meeting women at happy hour. I told her I thought it would be disrespectful to her to spend time doing that kind of stuff plus that's not a good time to be away from the family, if avoidable. I would never do anything and knew she trusted me but if other people we knew saw me out at happy hour with this guy, what would they think? Not things I want people to think about our marriage or the kind of husband and father I am. Not only did she like hearing that because it made her feel good about me and how I view our marriage but also that I had a clear vision of what I want our lives to be like, the kind of parent and husband I want to be. At the same time she's hearing that I expect that from her too. Less likely I'll be dealing with her telling me she's meeting a slutty friend for happy hour. At the same time you don't want to lose your individuality or independence, become a lap dog to your wife. It would be good to be able to have activities with guys that promote the same values. People that were working on the same goals. Working out to stay in shape together, volunteering, starting a charity event, training for a charity walk or run. So the activity promotes what we are all trying to do. Something you come home from and she wants to jump your bones. No wife is interested in sex when you just spent three hours at a bar with a male whore for happy hour while she helps three kids with homework and fixes them dinner.

[rowdy7766]

Sounds like a great idea.