Developing your masculine energy

[Louie]

I know that there are a lot of people who read this forum, but are hesitant to buy into Calle's program. I was hesitant at first as well, but I eventually decided to take the plunge and buy an EBook. After reading some of the EBooks I felt that there was a lot of truth to it, but it also left me feeling uneasy. Much of what Calle was teaching did not jive with things that I had read in other relationship books. I was not certian which sources I should trust.

Over the past few months I have read, and reread Calle's materials, and tried to implement as much as possible in my life. However, I will admit that I did not give myself over to it completely. In some aspects of my marriage I continued to use methods that I had learned elsewhere that were not compataible with what Calle was teaching. I suppose this was a form of hedging my bets. I wanted to see which methods would have the most success.

I have also continued to read many other books, web sites and articles over the past few months, striving to fill holes in my knowledge and to gain more insight into which methods I should be using to to try and restore the sexual intimacy that has been lacking in my marriage.

Recently I read something that absolutely blew me away with how clearly and logically it explained the mystery of the human sex drive. After wrapping my brain around this theory for a while I went back to examine Calle's materials again and realized that they were totally in line with this theory. It gave me new confidence that this program would work for me, and that some of the other methods I had learned would actually do more harm than good.

For the benefit of all the men out there who are struggling to understand what happened to their sex life, I will try to explain the theory. I apologize if this sounds kind of mystical, but it is what it is. Bear with me and hopefully it will make sense by the end.

God designed the universe to contain a number of powerful dichotomies. These are systems of yin and yang in which a particular force has two important halves. Both halves are required in order for the system to work. Examples of this are hot and cold, light and dark, good and evil, strong and weak, life and death etc. In each of these systems, one half does not make sense without the other.

One of the most imporatnt dichotomies in the world of man is the sexual dichotomy of masculine and feminine. Imagine that sexual energy is a spectrum with 100% masculine at one end, and 100% feminine at the other end. At any given point in time, a human being will exist somewhere on the spectrum. Most men are on the masculine end of the spectrum, and most women are on the feminine end of the spectrum. For instance, a man may be 70% masculine, and 30% feminine. This is a ratio of how powerful the two forces are in his life and his personality.

All humans seek to achieve ballance in the sexual energy of their lives. They want to experience equal amounts of both. There are essentially two ways that this can be accomplished. You could choose to go the route of a buhddist monk and attempt to ballance the two energies within yourself. A male monk will seek to develop the feminine side of himself (love, compassion, kindness and mindfullness) until it is equal to his natural masculine energy (purposefulness, decisiveness, ambition etc). When the two energies within himself are perfectly ballanced 50/50 he will experience peace.

However, most of us do not want to live the extreme life of a monk. We do not want to work to ballance our internal sexual energies. Instead, most people seek to ballance the sexual energy in their world by seeking a partner who is their exact opposite. Strongly masculine men seek out strongly feminine women, and vice versa, so that as a couple they can achieve ballance. The larger the difference between their sexual polarities, the stronger the attraction will be between a man and a woman.

Odds are that when you first met your wife you were strongly attracted to each other because you had a large difference in your sexual polarities. You were attracted to the strong feminine in her, and she was attracted to the strong masculine in you. This large difference in polarity created a lot of sexual energy between you and you both enjoyed it immensely.

However, once you were married things started to change. Without realizing what you were doing, you and your wife began to weaken the sexual polarity between you. Maybe she demanded that you start acting more feminine and you went along with it. Maybe you voluntarily began to become more feminine. Regardless of how it happened, your masculine energy began to weaken and along with it, the sexual energy in your relationship began to weaken as well.

This is the point where I will explain why many of the relationship books out there are doing more harm than good. Common wisdom over the past few years has been that men and women can only achieve peace in a relationship by becoming more equal in every way. Men are supposed to get in touch with their feelings and learn to cry at movies and stuff. Women are supposed to be ambitious and become military commanders. If all you wanted in your life was peace and relaxation, this would make sense. Eliminate sexual polarity and you will eliminate the biggest source of conflict in marriage. However, you will also eliminate the passion of the relationship.

The sexual energy and passion in a relationship is directly proportional to the difference in sexual polarity between the male and the female. Weaken the polalrity, and the sexual energy will weaken as well. When the difference in polarity becomes weak enough, sexual energy dissappears altogether.

Gentlemen, this means that if you want to have an exciting and passionate sex life with your wife, you can only do it one way. You have to re-establish the sexual polarity in your marriage. You have to apply effort to reawaken your male core and re-establish your masculine energy. If you do this, your wife will respond my moving in the opposite direction to re-establish her feminine energy. She will do this without even thinking about it. She will feel compelled to do this in order to maintain ballance for the relationship.

Calle's materials are about becoming a masculine man. Calle will teach you how to find that masculine core within yourself, dust it off, and make it shine again. Calle will show you how to behave in the way that you must behave in order to reactivate your masculine energy, and in turn cause your wife to reactivate her feminine energy. Calle will help you reestablish the sexual polarity that you must have in order to get your sex life back on track.

Now that I understand this prinicipal, I am prepared to toss out many of the other relationship materials that I own, and devote myself more completely to Calle's program.

[jpmohave]

Great insight Louie, this was a cool read. I totally agree that I to read books like "5 Love Languages" and "his needs her needs" and "men are from mars women venus" -

The 5 languages was good because it showed me how people simply show love in different ways, but I didn't just want to understand women and how they show love, I wanted my wife to have a strong sexual response to my presence. I wanted her to want me again like she used to, and though we're not acting like horny college kids, at ages 35 and 39 (she's the older one) we're having fun every other day for the most part and she is the one initiating.

Over a year ago my wife pretty much hated sex. She would sleep with me about once a week but she would be mad about it like it was irritating to her that she had to take care of this virtual street bum graveling for a sexual handout. And in my pathetic desperate state of mind and no will power, I accepted the handout.

But no more, now she wants me and I understand her needs and take care of them on purpose and have way more knowledge from Calle's programs and books then I could have imagined. They didn't just save my marriage, they saved my life and possibly even the lives of my children.

I recommend starting with the "HOW TO CREATE A MORE SEXUAL MARRIAGE" book, that one really starts you off on the right track. I don't get paid or get any hand outs to promote Calle or this program, I'm a federal business development manager for a technology company living in Minnesota and became a member here last summer in an attempt to save my relationship with my wife. it worked. Last night she held my hand at a show most of the night, shes' affectionate, sexual, sweet, and I also understand her moods now and they don't rattle me or get me fired up. I no longer respond emotionally to her emotions, she responds to my calm strong leadership.

worth it gentlemen, you have my word.

[nulover2]

I like to hear these stories jpmohave...it's the motivation that keeps me wanting to follow this program.