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"What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
10-18-2011, 10:29 AM (This post was last modified: 06-13-2012 01:25 PM by Sidney.)
Post: #1
"What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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In marriage there is a potential for a deep and rewarding connection between a husband and a wife that encompasses four areas; emotional, mental/social, spiritual, and physical. Contrary to what many women think, most men want deep relationships. They want to give and receive love; They want to feel an emotional bonding and they want to share their happiness and sorrow with their partner. Men are seeking fulfilling relationships which go way beyond the surface level satisfaction of sex. Men desire intimacy just much as women do.

In the book, "Lonely Husbands, Lonely Wives", author Dennis Rainey asserts that. "women are stimulated by, attitudes, actions, and are person-centered. Men are stimulated by sight and smell touch and are body centered." As Calle says - Unfortunately, most of the time men and women are in different worlds and different time zones! With a woman it's not so much the destination; it's really more about the journey - WOMEN ARE PROCESS CREATURES.

So, how important is sexual fulfillment and a wife's companionship to a man? The real truth is evident from the myriad of case studies involving men that have left otherwise functional relationships in search of more sexual fulfillment and female companionship... Why would a man do this? Personal Fulfillment??? At what price? The cost to a man of leaving an established and otherwise functional relationship is astronomical. The cost in dollars of divorce can lower his standard of living and take many years for him to recover. He also will damage or completely lose relationships with his children, close friends, and members from her family. His reputation can be injured, and he could even become the source of gossip and scorn. Why would he give up a comfortable lifestyle for one of uncertainty and uneasiness. Is all of this is done for a chance at gaining sexual fulfillment or contentment?

In retrospect, the abandoned and uninformed wife mistakenly thought her husband was perfectly fine because he was pitching in and helping around the house, he seemed to enjoy working around the house making it a beautiful home. He helped with the children, provided security, and a loving relationship. He talked with her, he listened. He tried to be understanding and supportive. In his heart he never did this to reward her for giving him happiness, but naturally in his mind he hoped that she would want to exchange fulfillment of her desires with fulfillment of his. But did both the husband or wife truly understand what the word fulfillment meant to the other?

In the above situation, assuming that the husband was fulfilling the emotional/physical/mental needs of his wife... It was a misunderstanding of what was truly fulfilling to her husband that lead her to believe that he was satisfied with their relationship. Perhaps her false sense of security in the relationship let her believe that everything was all right and she really didn't need to put any more effort into the sexual part of the relationship, when indeed, substantially more effort was required.

Husbands communicate with your wives... Try to understand - That what is fulfilling for your wife in your marriage, is not always in perfect sync and fulfilling for you as well. Again, men and women are wired differently and at times do perceive and feel things in totally different ways. In this example the wife was having all of her need for fulfillment met by her husband and in having those needs met she automatically assumed that her husband was happy as well. She has shifted the bulk of her efforts toward the home life and her family relationship (the place where she receives the most fulfillment in her life) while simply abandoning her husband in other ways. She is actually "baffled" when her husband declares that he is not content with the marriage. She even thinks that he is acting too needy. Why, because in her mind everythings fine... "So, What is his problem?" she thinks to herself. And, she pulls away even further.

A wife already understands that her fulfillment requirements are not always exactly the same for her husband. And, yes she may even find that she is too exhausted to put anymore effort into being more sexual with her husband. However, through a series of dual-applications her husband can help her understand that a regular sexual connection with him is as important as many of the other things that she needs/wants in order to remain content within her marriage.

Here is an example;
(06-13-2012 10:31 AM)Waxius Wrote:  "<Wifename>, there are things that I do for you that cause you to feel loved and cared for... and I am happy to do those things for you. But if I only did those things minimally at best.. or you had to ask me every time you wanted me to show love for you... you really wouldn't feel loved and cared for would you? Likewise.. I don't feel the joy of being loved when I have to ask or tell you that I desire intimacy with you. It is my desire to connect with you physically, about 2-3 times per week. It's up to you do decide how to do that in the way that works for you too. We have the potential for a truly great marriage, one that can fulfill both of us for the rest of our lives. Let's both make it a priority to fulfill the other."

I'm sure that can be worded differently... but it seems to me that she might not even know what you want.

Even if she just doesn't feel a comparable interest in filling his desire for sex with her as he has in filling her desire for receiving fulfillment in home/family/ female/emotional/ needs. She could be lovingly made aware of the value of trying to satisfy him in the sexual area of the relationship as a part of what she is seeking in her own personal fulfillment. In other words, if her marital needs are being fully met by her husband, it is only reasonable that she be considerate of his as well.

The challenge to relationships is how we maintain mutual fulfillment in our long term relationship. In some instances a husband will mention his fulfillment desires, and be shot down for wanting too much of a good thing. His mentioning and then being shot down time after time can lead to his further frustration and lack of companionship which then leads to resentment. He can often feel ashamed of his own sexual nature, and in fact question weather he will ever be happy in his marriage. He feels that he has been there for her. He'll even ask her to tell him if he is lacking in any area when it comes to fulfilling her needs. She states she is happy. Unfortunately at this point, a weaker man may even resort to attacking and trying to control his wife. He feels stuck in a catch 22. She is content and doesn't feel the need make any changes. Once started down this dead end path the damage continues.

It all simply boils down to this... As long as one partner is left dangling feeling longingly and unfilled due to some die hard restrictions or elements of inflexibility coming from his or her spouse, there are bound to be more problems in that area of the marriage. There is always available through communication a negotiable point of equilibrium that can allow for a mutual satisfaction. No one should feel as if their personal fulfillment has to be sacrificed at the expense of the other's inability to make couple of responsible and reasonable adjustments. Reasonable sacrifices for one other and mutual fulfillment are another pillar of lasting relationships. Helping your spouse understand what is or is not fulfilling to you in your marriage and then following through and a loving way in expressing your need for fulfillment is important part of the overall equation.

Marital Intimacy: A woman experiences the deepest intimate connection with her husband through emotional validation and mental exchange. A man achieves the same feeling of intimacy through involvement, "doing things" with his wife. He is interested in behaviors that will enhance closeness. And physical intimacy (love making) is a significant part of achieving that closeness for a man.

An important key: The husband and a wife must be jointly and intimately invested in meeting each other's emotional, mental, and physical needs while taking into account the fact that emotional fulfillment for their partner may be much different than their own.

Married men: A man should try to understand that a many woman are usually more focused on the process and the relating or the time shared within the process and anything that interrupts them from the process is a nuisance.

Married women: Have you misread your husband’s desire for sexual intimacy as simply a need for physical fulfillment? Think of a time when you may have hurt your spouse by refusing him when he wanted that intimacy with you or when he was trying to support you by giving you that intimacy. It's not always about sex with him or just having an orgasm.

Men are excited by what they see, they have a visual orientation, they are made that way by nature. They enjoy seeing their wives bodies. Many women don't realize this. He likes to see and feel her body close to his. And a man in love sees his wife's body with desire. To deny him this experience is to remove what he wants in the bedroom. Just like a woman doesn't like to be ordered around by her husband a man doesn't want to be restricted by woman who continually hides her body from him.

Wife/Husband instead of trying or hoping for your spouse will change, accept that there are differences in your need for fulfillment within the marriage. The challenge in any relationship is how you go about maintaining the long term fulfillment for both sopuses in that marriage. Those couples who rise to the challenge are the couples who stay together. Whatever your situation, a husband is designed to balance his wife out. In a great marriage there is always a deep and rewarding connection between a husband and a wife that encompasses all four areas; emotional, mental/social, spiritual, and physical.
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06-04-2012, 08:40 PM
Post: #2
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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(10-18-2011 10:29 AM)Sidney Wrote:  In marriage there is a potential for a deep and rewarding connection between a husband and a wife that encompasses four areas; emotional, mental/social, spiritual, and physical. Contrary to what many women think, most men want deep relationships. They want to give and receive love; They want to feel an emotional bonding and they want to share their happiness and sorrow with their partner. Men are seeking fulfilling relationships which go way beyond the surface level satisfaction of sex. Men desire intimacy just much as women do.

In the book, "Lonely Husbands, Lonely Wives", author Dennis Rainey asserts that. "women are stimulated by, attitudes, actions, and are person-centered. Men are stimulated by sight and smell touch and are body centered." As Calle says - Unfortunately, most of the time men and women are in different worlds and different time zones! With a woman it's not so much the destination; it's really more about the journey - WOMEN ARE PROCESS CREATURES.

On the other end men are often more goal and achievement oriented by nature and they find their satisfaction in "doing" things. Men are wired somewhat differently than women, and tend to experience the greatest levels of intimacy through companionship, activity, and physical intimacy, such as sexual intercourse. Assisting him in the release of his pent up male energy with different forms of mental and physical stimulation is good advice for wives. The idea is that a man needs to release his male energy in different ways in order to have a higher level of contentment in his life.

When men appear to start abandoning their marriages it is because they are not getting the sexual fulfillment and strong companionship they need from their wives. They are losing fulfillment from the relationship. They will create all kinds of excuses for this abandonment of the relationship because they don't want to look as if they are so shallow as to allow such things as sexual gratification or boredom to be the basis of their happiness.

So, how important is sexual fulfillment and a wife's companionship to a man? The real truth is evident from the myriad of case studies involving men that have left otherwise functional relationships in search of more sexual fulfillment and female companionship... Why would a man do this? Personal Fulfillment??? At what price? The cost to a man of leaving an established and otherwise functional relationship is astronomical. The cost in dollars of divorce can lower his standard of living and take many years for him to recover. He also will damage or completely lose relationships with his children, close friends, and members from her family. His reputation can be injured, and he could even become the source of gossip and scorn. Why would he give up a comfortable lifestyle for one of uncertainty and uneasiness. Is all of this is done for a chance at regaining his sexual fulfillment and contentment?

In retrospect, the abandoned and uninformed wife mistakenly thought her husband was happy with her when he was pitching in and helping around the house, he seemed to enjoy working around the house making it a beautiful home. He helped with the children, provided security, and a loving relationship. He talked with her, he listened. He tried to be understanding and supportive. He did this not to reward her for giving him happiness, but naturally in hopes that she will want to exchange fulfillment of her desires with fulfillment of his. But did both the husband or wife truly understand what the word fulfillment meant to the other?

In the above situation, assuming that the husband was fulfilling the emotional/physical/mental needs of his wife... It was this misunderstanding of what was truly fulfilling to her husband that lead her to believe that he was satisfied with their relationship. Perhaps her false sense of security in the relationship let her believe that everything was all right and she really didn't need to put any more effort into the sexual part of the relationship, when indeed, substantially more effort was required.

Husbands communicate with your wives... Try and help them understand - That what is fulfilling for your wife in your marriage, is not always in perfect sync and fulfilling for you as well. Again, men and women are wired differently and at times do perceive and feel things in totally different ways. In this example the wife is having all of her need for fulfillment met by her husband and in having those needs met she automatically assumed that her husband was happy too. She has shifted the bulk of her efforts toward the home life and her family relationship (the place where she receives the most fulfillment in her life) while simply abandoning her husband in other ways. She is actually "baffled" when her husband declares that she is still not meeting his needs. She even thinks that he is acting too needy. Why, because in her mind everythings fine... "What is his problem?" she thinks to herself. She pulls away again.

She must be slowly made aware that her fulfillment requirements are not always exactly the same for her husband. And, yes she may even find that she is too exhausted to put anymore effort into doing anything with her husband. But she should be clearly made aware that a regular sexual connection with her husband is as important to him as many of the other things that she needs/wants in order to remain content within her marriage. Perhaps she just doesn't feel a comparable interest in filling his desire for sex with her as he has in filling her desire for receiving fulfillment in home/family/ female/emotional/ needs. She must be lovingly made aware of the value of trying to satisfy him in the sexual area of the relationship as a part of what she is seeking in her own personal fulfillment. If her needs are being met she also needs to look beyond her individual needs and fully consider his as well.

The challenge to relationships is how we maintain mutual fulfillment in our long term relationship. Those couples who rise to the challenge are the couples who stay together. Often a husband will mention his fulfillment desires from time and time, and be shot down for wanting too much of a good thing. His mentioning then being shot down time after time can lead to his further frustration and lack of companionship which then leads to resentment. He often feels ashamed of his own sexual nature, and in fact questions weather he will ever be happy in his marriage. He feels that he has been there for her. He even ask her to tell him if he is lacking in any area when it comes to fulfilling her needs. She states she is happy. At this point, he may even resort to attacking and trying to control his wife. He is in a catch 22. She is content and doesn't feel the need make any changes. Once started down this dead end path the damage continues.

Love is a two way street and about reasonable sacrifices within our current complacency for the mutual complacency and happiness of our partner. Love is not mushy feelings of tenderness, but a true commitment toward the giving of ourselves to the other. It is not about giving what we need in a relationship. It is about trying to understand and give what is needed by our partner for their fulfillment. When couples are committed to and accustomed to contributing for each other, they will more easily sacrifice selfish opportunities of flirtation, and infidelity.

When in comes to understanding sexual fulfillment from a mans point of view. We are not talking about sex 24/7 or anything like that. Because, at times it is also about sacrificing the amount of sexual fulfillment that he requires for other reasonable reasons. It simply boils down to this... As long as one partner is not left dangling feeling longingly unfilled due to some die hard restriction or elements of inflexibility, there are bound to be fewer problems in that area of the marriage.

There is always available through communication a negotiable point of equilibrium that can allow for mutual satisfaction. No one should feel as if their personal fulfillment has to be sacrificed at the expense of the other's inability to make responsible and reasonable adjustments. Reasonable sacrifices for one other and mutual fulfillment are another pillar of lasting relationships.

Helping your spouse understand what is or is not fulfilling to you in your marriage and then following through and a loving way in expressing your need for fulfillment is important part of the overall equation. For a wife, it is important to know that some men may tend to compress the meaning of intimacy into the sex act especially after the amount of his sexual frequency has been dictated to him for long periods of time. He can become frustrated and upset. A man can feel controlled, abandoned, empty and unhappy all at the same time. Why? Because his wife unknowingly has cut him off from one of the main ways he as a man feels more closeness in his marriage. Men are interested in closeness and intimacy and they have different ways of defining and expressing it than some women do.

Complicating this issue further is the fact that often the idea of sex with her husband is about the absolute furthest thing from her mind. She may be tired after a long day. She may be stressed about many of the undone things around the house. ( This is where a husband can help to relieve her stress and should. He needs to be reasonably understanding.) He understands, it is NOT about sex 24/7!

Where relationships get into trouble is when for example a man's wife wants lots of non-sexual affection and family time together and goes out of her way to give those things, (Her priority) becomes totally frustrated when her husband complains that they do not do enough not have enough sexually intimate time together (His priority). On the other side of the "fence" her husband may be bending over backward looking for ways to create opportunities for good experiences and for quality sexual relations and became frustrated because his wife seems happy just working around the house, sitting and talking, watching TV, going on dates, and then falling asleep. This is why it is so important that a wife clearly address the differences between her priorities and her husband.

Marital Intimacy: A woman experiences the deepest intimate connection with her husband through emotional validation and mental exchange. A man achieves the same feeling of intimacy through involvement, "doing things" with his wife. He is interested in behaviors that will enhance closeness. And physical intimacy (love making) is a significant part of achieving that closeness for a man.

The important key: The husband and a wife must be jointly and intimately invested in meeting each other's emotional, mental, and physical needs while taking into account the fact that emotional fulfillment for their partner may be much different than their own.

Married men: A strong man should try to understand that a many woman are usually more focused on the process and the relating or the time shared within the process and anything that interrupts them from the process is a nuisance.

Married women: Have you misread your husband’s need for sexual intimacy as simply a need for physical fulfillment? Think of a time when you may have hurt your spouse by refusing him when he needed that intimacy with you or when he was only trying to support you by showing you that intimacy. It's not always about sex with him or just having an orgasm.

Satisfying the male’s sexual desire is not only about having sex with him; She is not just a body who allows him to have sex. A man is very aware when a woman is not into having sex with him. A man wants to feel as good about himself as a woman does. He feels better about himself when his wife wants to "do" things with him, be it sexual or otherwise. Her laying there and expecting him to do everything can be offensive and hurtful to a man.

A wife needs to know that men are excited by what they see, they have a visual orientation, they are made that way by nature. They enjoy seeing their wives bodies. Many women don't understand this. He wants to see and feel her body close to his. And a man in love only sees her body with desire. To deny him this experience is to remove what he needs within the bedroom. Just like a woman doesn't like to be ordered around the bedroom by her husband a man doesn't want to be restricted by a wife who is hiding her body from him.

Wife/Husband instead of trying or hoping for a spouse to change, accept that there are differences in your need for fulfillment within the marriage. The challenge in any relationship is how you go about maintaining the long term fulfillment for both people in that relationship. Those couples who rise to the challenge are the couples who stay together. Whatever your situation, a husband is designed to balance his wife out. In a great marriage there is always a deep and rewarding connection between a husband and a wife that encompasses all four areas; emotional, mental/social, spiritual, and physical.

An absolute great an powerful write-up. Quite a number of points made, I can certainly reflect back to my marriage. In my case, when a negative outcome of an interaction occured (aka my wanting to be intimate and her not wanting to), one negative followed by another negative reply... lots of small negatives building to a big problems. Deconstructing the problem and clawing back to the positives takes alot of work --- and sometimes only by one party initially.

Sidney, thatnks for a great post and wonderful insight.... I wish my wife could read through your logic!

"The Only Easy Day was Yesterday"
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06-04-2012, 11:17 PM
Post: #3
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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How does one go about having this info in front of his wife to read and take heart in?
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06-04-2012, 11:47 PM
Post: #4
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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I'm new on all this, but from where I stand I could ony say that you can take a horse to water but you won't be able to make it drink.... unless it wants to and is thirsty. So how does one help their spouse (male or female) start to consider and possibly want to learn from the advice on this forum? That may be answered best by the Vets of the forum I reckon.
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06-05-2012, 10:21 AM
Post: #5
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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(06-04-2012 11:47 PM)Boaz Wrote:  ... you can take a horse to water but you won't be able to make it drink.... unless it wants to and is thirsty. So how does one help their spouse (male or female) start to consider and possibly want to learn from the advice on this forum? That may be answered best by the Vets of the forum I reckon.

Exactly. She must WANT to explore personal growth. She must be guided by her own curiosity and desire to become a better partner in all aspects of her marriage.

Her man has to be strong enough to consistently model the behaviors HE values. He must skillfully lead her mind into a place of curiosity and desire to live up to the standards he sets for himself and those around him. He must become that man for him only. He must become a man who truly deserves the kind of female attention he desires. He must become the type of leader whose invitations are appealing to her. Only then is it possible for his masculinity and attractiveness cause her to begin moving in the right direction.

Others have already said it - dropping hints, leaving articles, or pressuring her to change is a troubled path. Can't change her...change yourself....because it's the best path for you no matter what she chooses to do.
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06-05-2012, 10:33 AM (This post was last modified: 06-05-2012 10:34 AM by Sidney.)
Post: #6
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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(06-05-2012 10:21 AM)StallionHeart Wrote:  
(06-04-2012 11:47 PM)Boaz Wrote:  ... you can take a horse to water but you won't be able to make it drink.... unless it wants to and is thirsty. So how does one help their spouse (male or female) start to consider and possibly want to learn from the advice on this forum? That may be answered best by the Vets of the forum I reckon.

Exactly. She must WANT to explore personal growth. She must be guided by her own curiosity and desire to become a better partner in all aspects of her marriage.

Her man has to be strong enough to consistently model the behaviors HE values. He must skillfully lead her mind into a place of curiosity and desire to live up to the standards he sets for himself and those around him. He must become that man for him only. He must become a man who truly deserves the kind of female attention he desires. He must become the type of leader whose invitations are appealing to her. Only then is it possible for his masculinity and attractiveness cause her to begin moving in the right direction.

Others have already said it - dropping hints, leaving articles, or pressuring her to change is a troubled path. Can't change her...change yourself....because it's the best path for you no matter what she chooses to do.


Great Post! StallionHeart

You nailed it!
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06-05-2012, 12:17 PM (This post was last modified: 06-05-2012 12:19 PM by ILoveAirplanes.)
Post: #7
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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Ok but in the book that was referenced it says:

"Husbands communicate with your wives... Try and help them understand - That what is fulfilling for your wife in your marriage, is not always in perfect sync and fulfilling for you as well. Again, men and women are wired differently and at times do perceive and feel things in totally different ways. In this example the wife is having all of her need for fulfillment met by her husband and in having those needs met she automatically assumed that her husband was happy too. She has shifted the bulk of her efforts toward the home life and her family relationship (the place where she receives the most fulfillment in her life) while simply abandoning her husband in other ways. She is actually "baffled" when her husband declares that she is still not meeting his needs. She even thinks that he is acting too needy. Why, because in her mind everythings fine... "What is his problem?" she thinks to herself. She pulls away again.

She must be slowly made aware that her fulfillment requirements are not always exactly the same for her husband. And, yes she may even find that she is too exhausted to put anymore effort into doing anything with her husband. But she should be clearly made aware that a regular sexual connection with her husband is as important to him as many of the other things that she needs/wants in order to remain content within her marriage. Perhaps she just doesn't feel a comparable interest in filling his desire for sex with her as he has in filling her desire for receiving fulfillment in home/family/ female/emotional/ needs. She must be lovingly made aware of the value of trying to satisfy him in the sexual area of the relationship as a part of what she is seeking in her own personal fulfillment. If her needs are being met she also needs to look beyond her individual needs and fully consider his as well."


That last part about she must be lovingly made aware - how do you do that? I tried to make her lovingly aware early in our marriage....I have always had value and purpose, and met her needs....maybe too much. But after "lovingly making her aware" and her NOT doing anything with that awareness - I got frustrated and disappointed over time. Maybe if I had found Calle's materials I would have put it on the line and given her a choice to move forward or move out, but I was under the impression/understanding that I couldn't divorce for any reason. Now I have a beautiful family and I feel blessed as a man and I am committed to being with her for life - but this is the struggle that I have. How do I lovingly make her aware of these truths....I feel that maybe when I made her aware in the past she blew it off as "well he is just overly sexual and he needs to calm down", or when I have brought it up she would think that other marriages aren't like ours and I was trying to get something out of her. Well the fact is that this IS important to a marriage and she NEEDS to read this from a book or a pastor or a counselor or someone that can influence her because if I say it then it is just my words....yet if I don't LEAD her to this material then she won't see it from these writers. Does my struggle make sense? I realize now in my life that my invitations to her are not appealing....but neither are her invitations appealing to me - I recognize the truths from these articles and I want to see her as happy as she can be to the best that I meet any of her needs. In these articles it speaks to people who don't realize that that is important in a marriage - so I feel that someone like my wife NEEDS to see something like this.

It is such a catch 22. My wife needs to see this sort of article or book or hear it from someone because she didn't get that growing up and when I tried to communicate it early in our marriage, either I communicated it wrong, or she was blinded by something else. If she sees and digests this information it could cause her to reflect and want to transform some things about our marriage. If I just go about Calle's materials and I am further improving myself and I become someone that is desirable to every woman but my wife because she didn't get this message and I am still not at a point where she is guided by herself and her own curiosity because she thinks everything is fine then what?
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06-05-2012, 12:44 PM
Post: #8
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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(06-05-2012 12:17 PM)ILoveAirplanes Wrote:  That last part about she must be lovingly made aware - how do you do that? I tried to make her lovingly aware early in our marriage....I have always had value and purpose, and met her needs....maybe too much.


Assuming that you are meeting the emotional/physical/mental needs of you wife... there is nothing wrong with talking to your wife about your current unhappiness.

What I think many men are trying to tell you here is that it appears as if "Sex" is typically your main focus. If this is the case then it is very possible your wife is only resisting due to the fact that you are appearing desperate.
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06-05-2012, 01:08 PM
Post: #9
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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Sex is the only problem in our marriage - that I see.
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06-05-2012, 01:51 PM (This post was last modified: 06-21-2012 07:49 AM by Sidney.)
Post: #10
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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(06-05-2012 01:08 PM)ILoveAirplanes Wrote:  Sex is the only problem in our marriage - that I see.

Lets move this conversation over to http://www.marriedandhappy.com/Forum/sho...p?tid=2157
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06-11-2012, 04:19 PM (This post was last modified: 06-11-2012 04:21 PM by CalleZorro.)
Post: #11
RE: "What is his problem?" Why is he so needy?
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(06-04-2012 11:17 PM)ILoveAirplanes Wrote:  How does one go about having this info in front of his wife to read and take heart in?

(06-04-2012 11:47 PM)Boaz Wrote:  I'm new on all this, but from where I stand I could ony say that you can take a horse to water but you won't be able to make it drink.... unless it wants to and is thirsty. So how does one help their spouse (male or female) start to consider and possibly want to learn from the advice on this forum?

This is exactly the problem with the typical husband...he's like bitter water...and he wants his wife drinking from him.

And, as long as a man is trying to coerce and force his wife to drink his bitter water...well, that's how long he is going to fail.

But, add some sorghum, honey, or apple flavoring to that water...and you will hardly be able to get the horse to stop drinking.

So my friends, it's not about getting your wife to do anything. It's about becoming desirable and attractive -- and when you do that, she cannot help but go for you.

Another analogy...it's like trying to get a kid to eat green peas...they aren't interested...but stick cookies or ice-cream in front of them...and you KNOW what they are going to do.

Calle Zorro
http://www.MarriedAndHappy.com
(918) 814-3480
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