I’m not 21 anymore (and I’m past 31 too) but I’d still like for my husband to think of me as “hot”. I’m careful about what I eat and try to exercise as much as I can (yes, I need to do more) but there’s only so much a girl can do on the physical side of things – especially after having had kids.
Girls, what else do you do to stay “hot” for your man?
Guys, besides looks, what makes you think a woman is hot?
03-25-2009, 06:21 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-25-2009, 06:24 PM by CalleZorro.)
Well, from my male perspective, taking care of your appearance is always going to be important. Any reasonable man wants to be with a woman that enhances his own appearance.
Having said that, if you are taking reasonable care of your body – which it sounds like you are – then these are the characteristics that make my wife so "hot" to me...
* Be an avid learner so you don't grow stale. A woman with a warm intelligence that lovingly stimulates her man is always sexy.
* Be your best and do your best so that it's always easy to like who you are. A woman with high self-esteem is always sexy.
* Know your values and honor them so that you can always be yourself. A woman who is the same genuine person no matter where she's at or who she's around is always sexy.
* Compare yourself to nobody but your ever improving self so that you have no reason to be insecure. A secure woman who recognizes her own gifts and value and who recognizes the gifts and value of others is always sexy.
* Have a loving attitude that builds up others while refusing to let anyone take advantage of you or walk on you. A woman of strength and character is always sexy.
* Be distinguished and professional in a light, fun way. A classy, sharp woman who has presence is always sexy.
* Have a predominant attitude of joy and happiness. A friendly, inviting woman with a warm smile is always sexy.
* Keep yourself styled with simple, feminine charm. A LADY in a LADY'S outfit is always sexy. In contrast, a woman in a gawdy, lewd outfit with wild or super-short hair and too much make-up and jewelry is UN-sexy to everyone except other LEWD people.
To me, all of the above makes my wife a very sexy woman. But, what makes her "hot" is...
* Give your body to your man. Your body is one of your important gifts and a gift can only be enjoyed when it's given WITHOUT reservation. The size of your breasts, the depth of your cleavage becomes completely unimportant when you are passionately giving them to your man. Your vagina – which to many women is unappealing – becomes the most beautiful work of art on planet earth when it is passionately given to your man to look at, touch, and enjoy.
* Open up that sexual part of your mind and share it with your man. You KNOW you have sexual oriented thoughts all the time. To let your man into that part of you is so "hot" that he's likely to quiver uncontrollably the first time you do it.
Caution: some men are confident enough that they can handle and enjoy you sharing ALL of your sexual thoughts – even the ones that don't include him. But, most men are not this confident. So, if you have a not-so-confident man – and especially if you have an immature or insecure man – then it's probably best to only share your "mild" sexual thoughts in a way where they are positioned as just "pretend" thoughts that are oriented around him.
* In the privacy and security of your marriage, be totally unashamed of your sexual desires and interests. Welcome them. Appreciate them. Share them with your man.
A little respect goes a long way.
Speaking from my own perspective, a man will struggle through the work day to make ends meet.
He will confront his boss and coworkers in an effort to improve his standing in the day-to-day rat race to pay the bills and put food on the table and in an effort to please his wife, he will try and have a little extra set aside for a special treat for her.
Now, I know that many wives work just as hard.
My point is that to have my wife out of the blue with arms open wide and with genuine affection tell me that she appreciates everything that I do for her and the children makes me feel like a million dollars and would also go far to help in making her life better and improving her well being.
That to me is a "hot" wife.
Being "hot" as you say, I would define as "sexually attractive."
Two major things besides looks will make or break how a man perceives you. There are a lot more as Calle described but for me it's....
1. Do not subvert your sexuality!
- talk to your husband about your sexual desires
- be interested in his sexual desires (ask him if needed)
- work on giving your whole body too him until you are 100 percent comfy with him
- try things that you have never done
- don't lie to him about your sexual thoughts, desires, and acts
- be open
2. Don't try to subvert his sexuality
- don't call him perverted because he desires you often
- open up and be accepting/understanding to his advances
- invite him to tell you about his thoughts/fantasies
If you subvert yours or his sexuality, you can never be "hot" no matter how good you look. The most exciting part of our fantasies is that the woman is open, submissive, and wants every bit of her man and she is comfortable with her sexuality.
This is the biggest hinderance for me when it comes to my wife.
Hope it helps!!
...if it ain't working,....it's probably you!!!