What to do when you're not in the mood and your husband is

[CalleZorro]

Quote:Calle, what should a wife do when she's not in the mood for sex but her husband clearly is?

Given that you're asking this question, I assume that this is more than a one-time thing and that in fact, this is an ongoing problem where your husband wants sex and you do not. So, let me start with what a woman should NOT do:

* Pretend she is asleep
* Lie and say she's feeling ill
* Make up some "important" chore or task to divert her husband away from her
* Busy herself with something and claim she can't make time right now
* "Hide" behind children under the guise of "responsibility" or "care-giving"
* Claim you think your period is about to start
* Other dishonest techniques and maneuvers

First, nobody is ever fooled by dishonesty for very long. Second, dishonesty ALWAYS boomerangs back to harm the sender.

As it pertains to the subject at hand, when a woman repeatedly rejects a man's attempt at intimacy with a falsehood or pretense, a man feels disrespected, insulted, and dishonored.

Now, when a man feels these feelings, his personal "honor" will demand justice – and that means SOMETHING is going to happen.

In some cases, a man will put up with the dishonesty for a little while and then he'll simply end the marriage with divorce and move on to a more honest and receptive woman.

More frequently, especially if he has children, he knows the family-law "deck" is stacked against him and so he will simply let his woman continue in her dishonesty while he finds a woman "on the side".

Please understand...I'm NOT saying that two dishonesties make a right. I'm just telling you what generally happens.

My point is that honesty is always the best policy.

Here are much better ways to handle the scenario where you're NOT in the mood and your husband is:

1. If you absolutely do not want to have sex at this time, courteously and respectfully ask for a "rain-check" that's good for redeeming sometime tomorrow. By courteously and respectfully, I mean let your husband know that you love him, like him, and are attracted to him and that at this time, you are just "off". Let him know that you are pleased that his sexual interest is directed at you and that you want him to keep his interest on you and you want to be the person who satisfies him and you want him to be the person who satisfies you and that tomorrow (rain-check) you will be able to do that in a real and genuine way.

2. Let him know you aren't in the mood for sex, maybe other things on your mind have your focus at the moment and the interest in sex just isn't there for you or maybe, you simply don't have any energy at this time but that it's ok with you if he wants to enjoy your body in a "Quickie" that's just for him. (And, the next time the two of you are making love, you have the right to ask for multiple orgasms so that the "Big-O scorecard" stays balanced and fair.)

3. Let him know that if he wants sex, then you need him to romance and seduce you – that you need him to do the things that turn you on and cause you to want sex. Let him know that he can get you in the mood and fire up your desire if he will invest the time in connecting with you and loving foreplay. If he really wants sex, he'll be up to helping you get there too.

http://www.MarriedAndHappy.com/survey-for-women