Married And Happy Discussion Forum

Keep this in mind...

It takes energy to make meaningful love.

It takes energy to have the kind of sex that's memorable.

There are plenty of people and things in life that DRAIN energy.

"Drained" people have lousy sex – if they even have sex at all.

Do you want to make love to your woman?

Do you want your woman to make love to you?

Then you've got to be the kind of man who does and says the things that INCREASE YOUR WOMAN'S ENERGY.

When you're the kind of man who ENERGIZES his woman, that sexual part of her comes to life and begins to seek expression.

As you interact with your woman throughout the day, ask yourself, "Will what I'm about to say or do energize her?"

Ask yourself, "What can I do that will energize her?"

You'll get the right answers.

And, be man enough to NOT let her mentally dwell on things that drain HER energy.

Even more so, be man enough to NOT let her say or do things that drain YOUR energy.

Then, meaningful, memorable sex can begin to happen!

(04-25-2009 01:26 PM)CalleZorro Wrote: [ -> ]As you interact with your woman throughout the day, ask yourself, "Will what I'm about to say or do energize her?"

Ask yourself, "What can I do that will energize her?"

You'll get the right answers.

This is a good point...I have NO answer at all, beyond wat I'm already doing!

Regards,
Minotauro9

man... I need to be energized. My insecurities are completely draining me... sucking the life right out of me. To the point where I am physically and mentally EXHAUSTED. I know I gotta get a grip, but at this point I just feel trapped inside my own insecure, very needy self.

HELP.

(05-12-2009 12:07 PM)winglee Wrote: [ -> ]man... I need to be energized. My insecurities are completely draining me... sucking the life right out of me. To the point where I am physically and mentally EXHAUSTED. I know I gotta get a grip, but at this point I just feel trapped inside my own insecure, very needy self.

HELP.

I know what how you feel. I used to feel the same way. You don't have to feel the way you do. Attitude is everything. You can change almost anything about yourself and Calle's books help you get it done. I recommend purchasing The Wife Seducer book. It's going to get you realizing how much of a man you can be. It's going to make you realize how easy it is to be a likeable guy. This is not BS. I recommend these books to everyone I know who is having problems with their wife AND girls in general. The book will also improve your relationships with everyone.

(05-12-2009 01:23 PM)Tex Wrote: [ -> ]I know what how you feel. I used to feel the same way. You don't have to feel the way you do. Attitude is everything. You can change almost anything about yourself and Calle's books help you get it done. I recommend purchasing The Wife Seducer book. It's going to get you realizing how much of a man you can be. It's going to make you realize how easy it is to be a likeable guy. This is not BS. I recommend these books to everyone I know who is having problems with their wife AND girls in general. The book will also improve your relationships with everyone.

Thanks for the reply Tex. I have the book and I know what I'm supposed to feel... I'm working on it. I tried out my new sexual aura... and I could tell she could feel it... her response? She said "You're really starting to creep me out!"

I'm not giving up... I just feel like my heart is getting ripped from my chest.

(05-12-2009 04:07 PM)winglee Wrote: [ -> ]I tried out my new sexual aura... and I could tell she could feel it... her response? She said "You're really starting to creep me out!"

I'm not giving up... I just feel like my heart is getting ripped from my chest.

Winglee, it IS a bit of a "weird" thing for your woman to "experience" you in a new way.

She has categorized and classified you as a "non-sexual male friend" and when she gets "surprised" by your newly generated sexual aura it "confuses" her feelings and emotions...hence she'll say things like, "You're creeping / weirding me out".

That does NOT mean that you are weird or creepy. It means you are becoming a NEW MAN and she is having to go through the process of reclassifying and recategorizing you.

So, be encouraged by that.

And, the key thing for you now is to really communicate with your woman. Let her know that you are on a journey to become a new man...a better husband...a better lover.

She'll likely resist...it's crazy how people generally "resist" when someone in their life starts making personal improvements...even though those improvements will benefit them. So, don't let that rattle you. Just keep moving forward.

Also, I think this is a good time to make this point...and I hope I say this in the right way...

I talk to a lot of guys on the phone and it's not at all uncommon for them to listen to me and the expertise and insight that God has blessed me with and then start thinking/feeling like having the kind of marriage they want is beyond their grasp...like it's possible for someone like "me" but not for someone like them.

They start viewing me as the guru on top of the mountain and they can see me up there but they can also see the path that's between us and they flat get overwhelmed.

Guys, I assure you, I am a man just like you are.

The only difference between me and other men is the fact that I'm further down the path of how to create a happy, sexual marriage than they are and I'm simply sharing what I've learned thus far so that they can get down the path WAY FASTER than I did.

So, don't let yourself feel overwhelmed. Instead, focus on learning and doing ONE SINGLE THING every day to make your marriage happier and more sexual. In three months, you will have done nearly 100 things to make your marriage a happier, more sexual relationship.

THAT'S HOW YOU GET DOWN THE PATH!

Besides, the three months are going to pass anyway. It's better to have learned and done nearly 100 things and be enjoying that better relationship than to have done nothing and still be in the same situation or one that's even worse.

Does that make sense?

Thanks Calle. It does make sense. And the thought has definitely crossed my mind several times that there is no way this will work for me. Or these guys have never met anyone like my wife. But I'm not giving up... I am seeing improvements, but mostly I am seeing just how much damage I have done from being such a sniveling, controlling, self-centered jerk for all these years. I am fixing me, and just praying I'm not too late for my wife to see me as the man that I really want so desperately to be.

Thank you, Calle. I sincerely appreciate you sharing your calling and your gift with us. God Bless You!

(05-12-2009 07:34 PM)CalleZorro Wrote: [ -> ]

(05-12-2009 04:07 PM)winglee Wrote: [ -> ]I tried out my new sexual aura... and I could tell she could feel it... her response? She said "You're really starting to creep me out!"

I'm not giving up... I just feel like my heart is getting ripped from my chest.

....
So, don't let yourself feel overwhelmed. Instead, focus on learning and doing ONE SINGLE THING every day to make your marriage happier and more sexual. In three months, you will have done nearly 100 things to make your marriage a happier, more sexual relationship.

THAT'S HOW YOU GET DOWN THE PATH!
....

That's such a key thought. At the beginning I felt really overwhelmed too--like I had to be superman for my wife.

So I made myself a list (on my computer) of things I was doing that turned off my wife toward me sexually, prioritized the list, and am working that list one thing at a time.

I'm not there yet, but we've already noticed a huge improvement.

I've told my wife that I'm making explicit changes to benefit both of us. Even so, like your wife, she tries to reinterpret the "new me" in a negative light, but if I catch her and plainly tell her my motives for what I'm doing that moment, she (almost always) gets that starry-eyed look in her face again...

You can do it!

Muppet, I would be very interested to learn what you found to be turning your wife off towards you sexually. Here is my short list.

- I did not keep myself in shape physically. I have dropped weight and began working out
- I did not take care of my looks. Hair, clothes, teeth (I have since used a bleach to whiten them) and have changed my hair and bought some clothes
- I drive a beat up old car but am looking to upgrade when possible. She has mentioned on more than one occasion that she is embarassed to ride in it but I paid no intention but instead would say something like "at least it's paid for".

There are more like the ones mentioned above and many more in the emotional and mental areas. One that stands out in the emotional and mental is that I have not stood by her in times of distress and emotional turmoil. I seemed to always take the other side because I thought she was usually wrong but I now know that I should stand by her whether I think she is right or wrong. This is very important. I will post more as they come to me.