07-10-2009, 02:25 PM
Quote:Hi Calle,
I've been married to an amazing woman for almost XX years now and I still get aroused for the smallest things with her.
We have two wonderful children, a X year old and X month old.
We both love our jobs, have a nice home, nice vehicles.
We talk, flirt, joke, hug, kiss all the time. But in the bedroom, it's cold.
She's always tired, or afraid the kids will come in, or she just wants me to "take it".
I love rubbing my wife's body and enjoying foreplay.
Apparently she doesn't anymore.
It makes me feel like "just get it over with".
In the 15 years together I can count on one hand how many times she has initiated sex. It's almost like we don't have time any more for sex.
I love her with every part of my being, but this is becoming frustrating.
I'll admit that I'm not the most easy person to talk to concerning her emotional being. I've never been that way and sometimes still don't know how. I just don't know what to say, how to feel, and scared at the same time to really say what's on my mind when "issues" arise concerning our sex life.
Sadly, I live in a great sex-less marriage.
I do everything you can imagine on the advice tips: dishes, laundry, taking care of kids, clean house, etc.
What am I doing wrong?
Is it really my fault?
Does she have more deep emotional things going on that I don't see that hinders her from wanting sex?
I'm just lost with it all.
When a husband combines his "I've never been that way" with his wife's "I've never been that way", you have the precise recipe for a marriage like the one described above.
That's HOW one gets the kind of marriage this man says he doesn't want.
The question a man must answer for himself is, "Do I really want things to be different?"
If so, then two things must happen.
One, HE must begin to think and operate in a different way.
Two, HE must become the kind of man who LEADS his woman into thinking and operating in a different way too.
It takes personal growth. It takes courage and strength. It takes patience. It takes work.
The reward of a happy, sexual marriage with a woman who is turned on towards her man is worth everything it takes.
It really is because once you CAUSE the kind of marriage you want to materialize, you can enjoy for the rest of your life.
You don't ever have to go back to that sexless relationship again!
But again, it's a personal choice...it's a decision that only YOU can make.
Ask yourself, "How do I want things to be 3 months from now? 6 months? 12 months?"
Your future is up to you.
If you are a person who is really ready for a better marriage, and your relationship is like the one described above, then I recommend the following:
1. A Wife's Letter of Secrets
2. How To Be The Best Lover Your Wife's Ever Had
3. How To Create A More Sexual Marriage
You'll need all three. Get them and reap the rewards.
You can get them here: http://www.MarriedAndHappy.com/Catalog