Married And Happy Discussion Forum

Hi Everyone.

Not sure if I should post stuff like this this is a relationship forum ! I'm hoping this is relevant to me and others, who maybe facing similar situations and gaining a better prospective of changes within themselves and how they are progressing to be a man a woman really wants to be with.

I will start with a lady who I work with for 2 years. She has known what I have been going through in regards to seperation, she has been there before.
We get on great. She has been communicating with me for the last year in different ways, saying she is there for me and I'm wonderful etc... Of course what I have been trying to do is become a man and be a man and as the changes are taking place within myself I guess I'm seeing some attraction from others, men and woman alike.I like to think I am taking charge of my thoughts, actions and direction, I can just see some of the merits of Calle's material coming through. All I do is listen and give her something to work with in her life to help with her issues, I genuinely say what I feel these days in regards to being me and an well aware of the getting things from others and attracting things from other pricinpal Calle talks about. I have told her she wonderful at her job and in herself, this is because I have the confidence to say things to people !

I am working on everything in Calle's books and actually giving them a try in all area's in life. The recations are good and I can see things coming my way.
The lady in question is in a relationship and knowing what we know, I can see she in is need of appreciation, regognisition and doesn't seem to have connection with him. I dont know him well I could be well wrong ! If you look at other peoples relationships you can see things, especially if you failed in those area's in yours.
I certainly do not want advice to take advantage of the situation, thats not my cause, I have alot of building to do before a woman may come into my life.

However, she seems to be want to be in contact with me often, I guess friends are ok. The other night she was speaking to me and she said that she loved me to bits !!! And will miss me heaps when I go away on holiday and she is all ways there for me. So I said ok. She then said I am her rock and I am wonderful andI make her laugh, and all these other really nice things, attitude, being in control of myself and magnetic aura. (not blowing myself) She has also said a few different things about attraction between us. I can certainly feel her aura in that regards.
And so I backed away and said ok thats nice thank you. I also informed her she has a family and partner and he should be there for them all ways.
I was unsure how to take this. A couple of days later I invited her to
speak about what she had said to me.

She informed me that I was very good friend, dear to her heart etc...she cares for me and would all ways be there for me and there was only one other person who was like this !! I said you hardly know me ?
She does have alot of guy friends of whom you can see she is close with.She is a very pretty lady with a wonderful heart and loves lots of fun.

And so my questions,

I know a woman shouldn't need a relationship like this outside her Partner ?
She really doesn't me know well enough to make a decision like this ?

Is she just flirting and leading me on ?

Why would she say she loves me ? (Far out)
Is it normal to have alot of guy friends ?

How should I interpret this ?

Maybe she is just genuine and wants to help with a god sent wonderful heart ?

I just know I dont normally tell close girlfriends I have that I love them to bits or any friend really ? But everyone's different !!

Maybe some thoughts guys ?

Thanks
Hetfield25

It's pretty simple really...

She is attracted to you in a big way. You said she's in a relationship, so I assume she's not married to the guy she's with. Nonetheless, she views you are a higher quality man than her present guy and she's just waiting for you to say the word and she'll be on you like a moth to a flame.

Because you're "unavailable" for the time being only DEEPENS her attraction for you.

I'm very proud of you for taking the time out to work on yourself more before jumping into another relationship, that is a very mature thing to do.

The biggest thing to remember is that when you feel you are ready...you will have your pick among many beautiful women.

Take your time...and find the one that will augment your life the best. Find the one that's NOT looking for a meal ticket or one who just wants a way OUT of their current relationship.

Calle's material not only works in your marriage...but in ALL your relationships.

Thanks Waxius.

I appreciate the comments. I thought as much. I particularly like the comment " Calle's material works for all relationships" Thats what I am aiming for all though hard to realise at the start of the whole process...

(02-14-2011 08:18 PM)Hetfield25 Wrote: [ -> ]She informed me that I was very good friend, dear to her heart etc...she cares for me and would all ways be there for me and there was only one other person who was like this !! I said you hardly know me ?

She does have alot of guy friends of whom you can see she is close with.She is a very pretty lady with a wonderful heart and loves lots of fun.

And so my questions,

I know a woman shouldn't need a relationship like this outside her Partner ?
She really doesn't me know well enough to make a decision like this ?

...

How should I interpret this ?

Maybe she is just genuine and wants to help with a god sent wonderful heart ?

Waxius already answered your questions...and I too commend you Hetfield25 for your growth and development...but there's another point here to be made for an unmarried guy...

>>> Pay attention to what really is instead of just being infatuated by the interest and attention some female throws your way. <<<

UNLESS you are interested in being with a woman who isn't very loyal to her partner...and UNLESS you are interested in being with a woman who has LOTS of guy friends who she is "there for" and who she "loves to bits"...WHY would you even care what her interests or intentions are?

If you were to hook up with this woman, do you think she would "suddenly" change the way she lives and operates?

Well, just in case you aren't sure, the answer is that she will NOT change!

>>> What she is doing to her current partner, she would most likely do to you eventually. <<<

Don't EVER forget that!!!

So, how would I personally "interpret" this woman? I would simply view her as a lady with whom I have the opportunity to practice developing my public female interaction skills on but whom I have ZERO interest in having an intimate relationship with.

I was certainly thinking that too. Something that has just happened to me in fact. All though having something thinking i'm great is nice, how ever I know who i am. I found out she left her first husband because he was never home, and yes her second husband cheated on her !

Why does she do this anyway ?
What type of woman is she ?

I actually viewed her as a type of loyal person in many ways but knew she shouldn't be carrying on with like this either.

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