Thursday

NOTICE: This is a deprecated (old, not-used, not-updated, not-serviced) blog that's here only for old links sake. Please visit our new blog or our sitemap

Men, If You’re Doing This, It Will Push Your Wife Into Another Man’s Arms Every Time…

You can deeply love your wife…

To spend the rest of your life with her can be your greatest desire…

But, if you possess one certain characteristic, you can be assured that two things will happen:
  1. Your wife will first check out emotionally
  2. Your wife will then leave you for another partner (that she’s either already found or will find)

Would you like to know what this one characteristic is so you can avoid it? Yes?

Here it is… Wait… Maybe it’s better that you discover it for yourself in the following…

Do you frequently wonder what your wife’s true feelings are towards you?

Are you always asking her if she loves you?

And, if she does say that she loves you, do you often doubt that she really means it in her heart?

What about phone calls or letters that she receives? Is it really important to you to know who they are from and what was said?

Do you secretly question if your wife is really committed and true to you?

Are you one who likes lots of reassurance from your wife that everything in your marriage relationship is ok?

Maybe, you want constant confirmation from your wife that she’ll always be with you and will never leave you?

And, if something does go wrong in the marriage relationship, do you automatically start wondering if it’s over with and thinking that there’s no hope?

Stop! Have you already picked up on what the characteristic is?

Here it is in a word…

INSECURITY

And, the bad news is that insecurity never runs by itself…it always drags along its close cousins of CONTROLLING, NEGATIVITY, and SUSPICION.

The insecure man tries to “control” his wife – although he rarely realizes it – even as he interprets everything about her with “suspicion” and injects “negativity” into everything she does.

That’s why I can assert that an insecure man’s wife will eventually check out emotionally after which she will physically depart the marriage relationship.

It’s a fact…the insecure man IS losing his wife. The only question is how long it will be before she’s gone.

You see, a husband’s continual insecurity wears on his wife. It grates on her nerves. It emotionally drains her.

See, with all of life’s bombardments, one has to work at keeping themselves emotionally healthy. But, when you also have to be an “emotional support system” for another person, it quickly becomes too much…too draining.

At the start of the relationship, although a wife may find it irksome that her husband needs constant reassuring, she’ll go ahead and give it to him. But, she quickly reaches a state where she’s given out all of her reassurance and she has no reassurance left for herself.

Even worse, she’s not getting the reassurance from her husband that she craves… She’s always giving out reassurance but never getting anything back in return.

This wife quickly tires of having to constantly reassure an insecure husband. She tires of giving. She tires of trying.

On one hand, she DREAMS of being with a man who causes her to feel alive and exhilarated. On the other hand, she LIVES with a husband whose nagging insecurity leaves her feeling drained and exhausted.

And so, a wife who is married to an insecure man goes through a progression:

  1. She starts to view her husband as UNATTRACTIVE. (And the husband starts complaining that his wife’s desire for sex is declining.)
  2. She progresses to resenting her husband’s WEAKNESS. (And the husband becomes even more unhappy because his wife won’t hardly have sex at all now.)
  3. Finally, she reaches the stage where she literally HATES her husband. (And the husband is really unhappy now because he and his wife virtually never have sex anymore.)

These three steps are the wife’s “checking out emotionally” phase that I referred to at the beginning.

And, once she’s completed this process of “checking out”, she WILL leave. She will leave as a matter of SELF-PRESERVATION – as a matter of protecting her sanity, dignity, and peace-of-mind.

Bottom line, it is a foolish man who expects his wife to understand, support, and hang around to be tormented by his insecurity.

Copyright 2008, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to http://www.marriedandhappy.com/ is included with it.

Labels:

8 Comments:

Anonymous tracey mitchell said...

I truely agree with what i've just read. I have become one of those wives who as just filed for divorce after being with my husband for 21 years and Even to the day I walk out I will be reassuring his insecurities, but I'm worn out I can't take anymore. I just wish he would have read this.

March 2, 2008 1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This article literally saved my marriage. For months my insecurity made my wife miserable and pushed her away. No amount of reassurance mattered to me. In fact, it made her more private, which made me more insecure. I had a lightning bolt moment and am transformed. Now instead of focusing on what my wife thinks of me, I am focused on being a good husband and regaining my self esteem and confidence. Thank you.

June 9, 2008 3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just read this article, and you know what? The insecure person in our marriage is my wife. But this article takes no consideration that wives can be insecured too.

February 1, 2009 4:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so what did you guys do eventually?
how did you work on yourselves to get rid of the insecurity that gripped you. how did you guys transform. how did you regain your self esteem and confidence?

July 22, 2009 12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once I realized what I was doing and talked about it with my wife, we were both more understanding. She had completely shut me out and this only made things worse. After talking she realized I couldn't change in an instant and actually let me back into her life again. Rather than hiding everything as she had turned to, we shared more openly. Now that I understood what I was doing, I stopped questioning and looking for re-assurance. It was a hard road for some time. She had to want to make it work again too, which she did. Becoming more secure is not an easy thing to do, and I did still need her to help me in that direction in the beginning. This was a lot to ask, but luckily she hadn't completely shut me out. We've also gone to a marriage counselor together and this has helped us communicate and get past some of the misperceptions. It wasn't just me, it was both of us in the end making things worse without either of us knowing how to fix it.
One year on, we're both happy together.

August 28, 2009 8:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a person isnt insecure for nothing. Your wife or husband gives you reasons to be insecure. some do this by holding on to past relationships while being married to the person the're with. this to me is very disrespectful towards the the spouse who may have given up thier past relationships to be married. when u make that commitment there should be no contact with ex boyfriends or girlfriends it will ony become a problem. Men and women cannot be just friends if they have some type of sexual history because one is always wanting the other. Especially in the case where the wife is holding on to exes. I am a very secure man and my wife is not holding on to one, but two ex boyfriends. one she had sex with and the other she claims she didn't because when they tried she then found out she had her period lol. we've been married for 8ys and both of these guys are still in the picture today. by holding on to these people she has pushed me away and by lieing about them has made me not love her the same. Now I just walked in the door from work and decided to get on the computer and this artical was on here i read it and i have to laugh the person who originally wrote this has left something out and that would be the reasons that can make a man insecure or a woman for that matter. another reason i laugh is because she probably read this and agrees with it thats why she left it up. which makes me say to myself "this bitch is crazy"

February 9, 2010 4:19 PM  
Blogger Calle Zorro said...

Now isn't the previous comment interesting...here's a guy who thinks that I am a woman...and go back and look at his attitude towards women...is it any wonder his woman doesn't want to commit to him?

Those guys who are truly attractive don't let what a woman does poison them like this guy has. Rather, they do the things I teach that draw their woman towards them. The fact is, at the heart level, a woman is always going to move towards the man who is the best deal for her. And, if a man doesn't want to put forth the effort to become that kind of man, then it's just easier to blame the woman for being a "bad" woman.

February 9, 2010 4:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow I left this article up because I hoped it would invoke a discussion to see if this was the problem with my marriage. It appeared to have made it worse since he called me out my name. I am so confused becasue I feel I am a good wife. I take care of the house, clean, cook, take care of my child and my husband does neither but take out the trash. I'm ok with that but on the other hand it appears that when people in my past seek me out it is my fault even if I do not communicate back with them. I really would like to save my marriage but I am not sure if it is worth saving since my husband stated he wanted a divorce since 5 years ago but didn't say anything to me becasue he didn't want to hurt me and I got pregnant. This hurts so bad how can someone do such a thing.Five years ago I disclosed to my husband that me and my best friend attempted to have a sexual experience but this happened way before I met him. I understand I should have told him about this matter when we first met when asked instead of saying nothing happened but I wanted to remain friends with my best friend. Two weeks ago a past ex left me a message on facebook stating call him and my husband makes it seem as if I want to be with him. He knows I didn't even call him back because there was another message stating I am still waiting for your call. I can't think of anything else but insecurity..What else could it be..I told my husband that I don't truly believe he thinks I love him like he is putting up a block. He has this theory I will leave him in a couple of years to be with those dudes from my past. I try and try but I cant' try anymore this is too draining..

February 9, 2010 10:50 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home